A new blog to help all women feel beautiful.
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Via Thin and Curvy: “Hello. I’m Brittany. I am a college student studying art and computer art/science. I started this blog because I was frustrated with trying to find clothing, bras, and advice for large chested women. I always felt like the response was just “You should feel lucky to have this problem.” Not helpful!”
AKA “Fashion advice for the painfully attractive.”
Oh, the pain and suffering and victimhood. (I think I broke my jaw yawning.)
Now, now … Not everyone enjoys being whistle bait — constantly.
I don’t think that being frustrated with the inability to find clothing that fits (without having to buy things that fit like a tent and then tailor half of it out) qualifies as “victimhood”. It is a legitimate problem that the clothing industry is only just starting to truly address.
Oh…and large bust frequently does equate to pain and suffering…just ask any busty girl’s lower back. That’s why insurance companies will sometimes cover the cost of reductions.
I’ve had back trouble before, but been fortunate and haven’t had it in a while. My lower back does have the strongest muscles in my body, though — I was surprised, even given what they have to compensate for; figured my legs would be the strongest. When I started working out, though, I found I could back extend 200 pounds rather easily while legs took only 135. Guess all that leverage is good for something.
It’s been years since I had a bra that fit right — I went to a specialty shop for a fitting last year, and it’s… better… but still not right. So, thanks for the link, hopefully it gets me better fits!
Hey Speedwell, next time you come up with a witty and clever comment like that, sit on it.
It’s not victimhood, it’s inconvenient and expensive. The standard body used by the majority of the clothing industry is a B-cup. When they size up a garment, they increase the diameter but do not change the cup depth. For a woman with larger than a B but a narrow waist, the result is a garment that is several to many sizes too large through the waist, or a garment stretched embarrassingly tight across the chest. There are some stores that cater to that build for comfortable and professional clothes.
Think of a particularly tall or muscular man–traits frequently considered good up to a point, right? He may need to shop at specialty stores that have long enough pants, large enough chests and collars. The main difference between his situation and the curvy woman’s situation is the social loading around breast size.
There are two parts of us. The animal side with all it’s hormonal cravings and dark feelings. Such comments such as these remind me of the nihilistic tendencies of the animal in us all. The other side is the side of hope and love. The better part that knows we are all connected. With abilities based in love. Such as compassion, sympathy and empathy. What if you could feel the pain of the other person that your words might inflict. Would you be so callous then? Would you throw rocks knowing you will feel the pain of getting hit with the rocks? Your comment shows indifference to her problem. Such a lack of empathy is something I see in some children. They only know of themselves and their own desires. They haven’t been taught to see the world through another eyes. Some children grow up physically but not emphatically. Watch politicians debate and be mean to each other. It’s like watching school children bully each other on the playground. It’s sad. I hope you will learn that just because you can’t see some one else problem in their way doesn’t mean it’s a real problem to them. My wife suffers from this style of problem. She can’t buy nice dresses because of having a different size for her top then her bottom. I have gone clothes shopping with her and do see her problem. I see Paul trying to help. Be a positive force. I commend him for it. I do not wish you ill will. I hope you will learn to be a little more empathetic towards another human being.
Ooops. That should be…
I hope you will learn that just because you can’t see some one else problem in their way doesn’t mean it’s not a real problem to them.
Having lived for a short time with someone who was built large in the breast and narrow in the waist and chest, I can testify that women of that body shape often have the same problems everyone else does – finding something that fits comfortably enough to be wearable.
I think I may have found a blog I’ll actually follow.
Thanks Paul!
Any blogs for the opposite problem? My wife is not large in the chest, but she is very curvy below the waist while being thin at the waist…
One of my friends has that problem…I don’t think I’ve seen much merchandise or blogging related to it yet though.
I apologize in advance, this is not the most flattering tip, but I have a friend with a similar shape and she says maternity shops are the only way to go. The smaller shirts taper out at the hips nicely.
Sometimes it seems that if you’re not perfect – whatever that means – in the eyes of some particular person, you’re subjected to a withering hail of attacks. For the record – I don’t think the person who issues these attacks (in a generic sense) has a leg to stand on. My experience is that the haters, scoffers, and flame-war aficionados are generally projecting their own deeply hidden lack of self-esteem on vulnerable people who have had the front to actually talk about problems they have.
There’s no question that a grand superstructure can put an undue load on the lower back, and lead to chronic problems. And yes, insurance companies sometimes will pay for breast-reduction surgery to alleviate the pain. I personally know a woman who had that exact procedure done, and she’s happy she did.
I wish we could all appreciate each other for the unique human beings we are, in all the variety and range of sizes, shapes, and colors that we’re found in. That day seems really far off. Paul, thanks for helping to make it a little bit closer – your efforts are appreciated.
Had comment, now sitting on it.
I’m still amazed at how extremely frustrating it is to have an awesomely curvy body and not be able to find anything to wear! I love my body but HATE going shopping. I feel Brittany’s pain and look forward to reading her blog – thanks for sharing, Paul!
Man, Paul — I’ve been following your comic for I-can’t-even-remember-how-long and, as much as I love your stories and art and women’s advocacy, it’s hard to get on board the “buxom women whining about First World problems” blog train (and that’s coming from someone with ample bosom).
Let’s speculate that a large amount of women, if they had to choose a side of the fence to be on, would rather be a D cup than an A cup. So, yeah — being skinny AND stacked? Not a real problem.
Her blog kind of reminds me of that documentary-in-the-making (or is it finished now?) called “Not Pretty, Really” that aims to expose the horrible downsides of being really, really, really good looking. Because, you know, it’s really HARD being attractive sometimes!
I draw attention to these blogs because anyone that does not fall into a very narrow area of “off the rack” because most clothing companies are lazy, and quite a few gals go through life thinking of themselves as freaks. I’m just trying to help those gals find that they don’t need to wear a tent merely because it fits their bust, but not the rest of them. Don’t even get me started on the catastrophe that is the bra industry.
There’s a lot of negative crap in the world and I try to spread positive things. When I was growing up, I was super skinny and very nerdy (it wasn’t very cool back then) and I was picked on quite a bit. Around 4th grade and especially in jr. high, some of the early developing gals were being singled out as well and picked on pretty bad. The ones who were nerdy and didn’t go to the darkside of being football-player-fodder, ended up befriending me, as I think picked on nerds tend to find each other. Seeing how busty gals were treated, and still have difficulty into their adult lives from finding clothes to fit right to being thought of only for body parts, has given me an empathic soft-spot for them.
Fair enough. Perhaps I’m just unsympathetic because I never really thought it was a “problem” to buy a shirt or a pair of jeans and have the waist taken in.
You’re right about the narrowness of the “on the rack” body type — I just think that sometimes people get it in their heads that their non-standard body type is the only one that has trouble finding nice clothing. But, like I said before, as a woman who has that curvy + skinny problem, I feel that it’s insensitive to complain about it — especially considering that the surgery rate for breast implants far outweighs that of breast reduction. Just from listening to my friends growing up, it seems far more embarrassing to have to pad one’s bra than it does to have trouble finding one that fits.
Devoting an entire blog to the woes of being a woman who fits two of the narrow criteria of attractiveness in our culture (boobs, check — skinny, check), is like making a blog about the woes of being white; again: not a problem, really.
Although I get that you’re trying to help, well, I dunno. No eloquent finishing point from me.
It is a problem when you can’t afford to buy new clothes and get them tailored. Some people have suggested that the solution is “learn how to sew”, but that involves time, and hoping you don’t have to pay out the nose for mistakes…some people don’t have any of those little luxuries. I bought 3 new shirts this year. It was much more expensive than I feel 3 shirts should cost, I still don’t feel like they fit…and I can’t afford to have them tailored. *shrugs* It’s a legitimate venting point.
I also don’t understand how it’s insensitive to complain about how your body type isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Yes, women get implants all the time because they want larger chests. That doesn’t mean that every girl who has larger breasts is automatically more attractive (or if she is that she feels like she has any self-worth since she’s probably judged entirely on her rack size). I’ve seen plenty of unattractive well-endowed skinny women, and I’ve heard men bemoan how unfortunate it is that those woman aren’t attractive enough to even be worth a one-night-stand.
Blogging about this kind of thing just gives a voice to the many women who feel burdened by their physique. It creates a kind of sisterhood where advice and shopping recommendations can be shared. It’s certainly much more positive than just complaining about it and doing nothing.
Julie, the only thing that’s REALLY unfortunate is the way in which people don’t seem to understand that bemoaning a perfectly functional body is a culturally created problem — as in, if your body works fine, then your “problem” isn’t a actually a problem at all.
Worse yet, people seem to be tolerant of the idea that “men bemoaning how unfortunate it is that [certain] woman aren’t attractive enough to even be worth a one-night-stand” even though one’s face should have nothing to do with whether or a person is deserving of sexual fulfillment or not. Saying that men say things like, “her body is bangin’, but her face is so ugly I wouldn’t even use her for a night and kick her to the curb” is the most offensive statement you could use to legitimize your position in this kind of discussion.
So you bought three expensive shirts and they don’t quite fit right? Go cry and blog about it. In the meantime, there’s women out there that feel like they can’t love themselves and their bodies because of this mess over womens’ figures that the media has created, and there are people out there with crippling physical limitations and serious health issues, but that’s okay — someone out there with big boobs can’t find a dress that fits right, and that’s REALLY IMPORTANT.
I’d like to point out that curves + skinny waist doesn’t necessarily mean said person is considered “attractive” by the world at large. Right now, my waist is not particularly skinny, but even when I am at a good weight for my height and frame (5’0″ and almost no shoulders), and I still wear a DD cup and have “child-bearing” hips, no one’s exactly breaking down my door to ask me out on a date–I’m 28, and have been on all of one date in my life, in fact. And then when the offers do come, they’re often from creepers and lechers. Sometimes those of us with this problem (because it is one when you’re trying to find affordable clothes on a part-time teacher’s budget!) don’t experience the upside.
Post in the “pics of yourself” thread in the forum. I’d be willing to bet you’re a lot more attractive than you give yourself credit for.
Actually, if you click on my screen name, it goes to my blog, and I’ve got a few photos posted in relation to some of the topics I’ve discussed.
And I don’t think I’m not attractive, just… not traditionally so. If that makes any sense.
The internet is (should be?) big enough to allow anyone to speak about issues which concern them. If other people find that voice interesting or supportive of their own strivings, then a conversation gets started.
Look at a cocktail party. Is everyone talking in a single group, or are there many small knots of people, each small group talking about things that are of interest to them at the moment, not caring that the next group over is conversing about something completely different. The internet – blogs, wikis, personal websites, forums, social networks, the whole thing – is a giant cocktail party where millions of conversations take place all the time. Why is it necessary for my conversation to be of interest to someone else, who has their own ideas and concerns?
I am always amazed that things like the mention of a blog that addresses a special concern will be commented on negatively. What is there in the human mind that mandates that we always express our disapproval of something, when there are so many things we could be positive about, and just shut up or ignore those things that we aren’t?
We really need to find those things that we agree with, and stop wasting time ogling the things that we find displeasing. Everyone’s a critic – what a truism! As hard as it is, I want to be a connoisseur, and find those things I can truly appreciate.