Wapsi Square

Slice of supernatural life YA comic PG-13 to R
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"Bright Idea"
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Bright Idea
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Bright Idea

by Paul Taylor on April 14, 2010 at 12:00 am
Story: Wapsi-Archive
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Discussion (88) ¬

  1. Ray Radlein
    April 14, 2010, 12:06 am | # | Reply

    He could have just put a spider in her eye socket. That would have done the trick.

  2. Virnin
    April 14, 2010, 12:07 am | # | Reply

    Bad dog! BAAD dog! You know the pizza girls phone number!

    • Akamar
      April 14, 2010, 1:47 am | # | Reply

      Pizza isn’t open that early. ;3

      • Fairportfan
        April 14, 2010, 3:45 am | #

        Given their … relationship … i’m sure he knows he home or cell number.

  3. Fatuncle
    April 14, 2010, 12:10 am | # | Reply

    Grounds for dogicide, if you ask me.

  4. ProfessorTomoe
    April 14, 2010, 12:11 am | # | Reply

    YEARRRRRGHHHHH

  5. TlalocW
    April 14, 2010, 12:11 am | # | Reply

    I now consider myself lucky that I just have a ferret who jumps on my chest from the back of the sofa when I fall asleep on it.

    • Grant McCormick
      October 30, 2016, 4:54 pm | # | Reply

      When I was in High School, I had a rat that trained my father the same way! (Dad takes Charley the rat out of cage. Rat runs around. Dad falls asleep. Rat gets tired, hungry, thirsty, whatever. Charley climbs atop sofa back, jumps onto Dad’s belly. Dad awakens, puts Charley back in cage.)

  6. Zogh
    April 14, 2010, 12:11 am | # | Reply

    Where is Pizza Girl when you need her?

  7. Anji
    April 14, 2010, 12:14 am | # | Reply

    Uh… Did she break something on her face? Otherwise, that is a really awkwardly shaped eye pillow.

    Oh wait, Dietzel put the bowel on her head!

    • Nitfol
      April 14, 2010, 2:35 am | # | Reply

      I do hope that “bowel” was a typo 🙂

      • MidnightDStroyer
        June 7, 2017, 5:33 am | #

        That may or may not be an actual misspelling. Some dogs (or cats) WILL sit on the face of a sleeping human, ya’ know…

    • SoWhyMe
      April 14, 2010, 4:29 pm | # | Reply

      When I first saw it, I thought it was a swim mask. Something left on from a drunken romp or an attempt at keeping the Dietzmister from licking her face to wake her.

  8. jordinyc
    April 14, 2010, 12:15 am | # | Reply

    M gets stabbed in the head, has a giant demon and a temporal anomaly washing machine pass thru her into oblivion, survives it all, only to get a heart attack from her hungry dog. Sheesh!

  9. Jim
    April 14, 2010, 12:19 am | # | Reply

    Air horns are awesome ! Well , except when you’re woken from a deep sleep by one . . .

  10. ziggy78eog
    April 14, 2010, 12:24 am | # | Reply

    That is one way to let Monica know that it is time for breakfast. It looks like somebody like reading Garfield.

    • vince
      April 14, 2010, 12:26 am | # | Reply

      or watched a couple of Tom and Jerry cartoons………

      • SoWhyMe
        April 14, 2010, 3:35 pm | #

        Well, at least he showed a little restraint. Jerry would have put the horn right into Tom’s ear, literally driving the eardrum (in the shape of a snare drum) out the other ear.

  11. amishrakefight
    April 14, 2010, 12:25 am | # | Reply

    should see how big a dent a twenty five pound maine coon cat can do bombing off the top of the headboard at three am

    • Kaibyo
      April 14, 2010, 6:04 am | # | Reply

      I think your Cooncat has gotten together with my 10 lb grey&white cat to pick the right time to catch us off guard. There’s nothing quite like a overly affectionate, overgrown “kitten”, in need of a manicure, treading all over you (in spots that really ought not to be treaded on) at 3:00AM. I’d rather the air-horn.

  12. LW18(LADYWOLF)
    April 14, 2010, 12:49 am | # | Reply

    Yes air horns are indeed awesome. Just as long as you don’t have a hang-over from to much drinking on the previous night.

    • Fairportfan
      April 14, 2010, 4:19 am | # | Reply

      Excuse me – do you have personal experience of that?

      Tsk tsk.

      And the drinking age twenty-one, too.

      • AimOfDestiny
        April 14, 2010, 7:49 am | #

        Not in Germany, it ain’t. ‘Round here, it’s 16 for beer and wine, 18 for hard liquors.

      • SoWhyMe
        April 14, 2010, 3:36 pm | #

        That explains WW2.

      • BlackDingo
        April 14, 2010, 4:31 pm | #

        BAHAHAHAHAAAA! I can’t believe you said that!

  13. WilliamTheWolf
    April 14, 2010, 12:57 am | # | Reply

    “And on today’s show, we’ll be teaching you how to cook Dietzel in a doggy dish”

  14. CaptXpendable
    April 14, 2010, 12:59 am | # | Reply

    Paul, please be sure to tell us when Dietzels funeral will be. I’m sure we’ll all want to be there to mourn his untimely murder.

  15. CrashFu
    April 14, 2010, 1:01 am | # | Reply

    So, when ARE we going to find out that Dietzel is really some paranormal entity himself? I’m having a hard time accepting that he could really just be an inexplicably intelligent dog.

    Unless he starts speaking with a goofy speech impediment and not one other character in the entire comic thinks anything out of the ordinary. THEN I’ll accept that he’s an 80’s-cartoon-talking-sidekick-dog.

    • ziggy78eog
      April 14, 2010, 1:18 am | # | Reply

      Personally, I would like it if Dietzel was one of few non-paranormal things in this strip. I think the Wapsiverse would get stale if everything in had some paranormal connection.

      • D. Walker
        April 14, 2010, 3:04 am | #

        Arguably humans are paranormal.

        Think about it. From the point of view of any other living thing, we’re gorram gods who forge their everyday objects from mystical materials that only exists deep underground. We ride in the bellies of roaring, shining, shuddering beasts that aren’t born but are created, and which glide across the ground with impossible speed. We shape trees into caves, we shape rocks into claws and fangs, we communicate in the most bizarre ways…

        ~D.

      • The Old Wolf
        April 14, 2010, 7:15 am | #

        @D. Walker, where can I find some more of your writing? 😀

      • txmystic
        April 14, 2010, 11:06 am | #

        Not just claws and fangs, we also shape rocks into premium countertops…

      • SoWhyMe
        April 14, 2010, 3:43 pm | #

        I guess we are like gods to other animals. Unfortunately some of them are not averse to eating their one of their gods from time to time.

      • BMonk
        December 20, 2024, 11:25 am | #

        D. Walker – and don’t forget the supply of foodstuffs that never seems to run out day after day.

    • SonicThunder
      April 14, 2010, 9:12 pm | # | Reply

      Considering that Amanda, who has no experience dealing with the paranormal, does not see Dietzel (or her own cat who has similar mannerisms) as odd, says it’s not.

      In fact, considering how Dietzel, Oscar, and Amanda’s cat act rather similar (Dietzel to a more human-like extreme, granted) it just seems animals in the Wapsi-verse have a slightly more ‘human’ manner to them than animals in our-verse.

  16. Dr. Jeff
    April 14, 2010, 1:27 am | # | Reply

    Dietzel has THUMBS! 😀

    • Neveko
      April 14, 2010, 2:34 pm | # | Reply

      0.o No doubt. Weird dog, indeed.

    • Don B.
      July 12, 2010, 5:16 am | # | Reply

      I once met a cat that had six digits on her front paws. One on each paw could act much like an opposable thumb. I was both kinda creeped out and delighted to discover that she could pick up and THROW a ping pong ball at you to get your attention. Too bad my buddy didn’t have a video camera as I think some footge of that would have been a hit on youtube or something.

    • BMonk
      December 20, 2024, 11:32 am | # | Reply

      I do think they appeared early on. Maybe he called for pizza?

      Nope: playing jacks! https://wapsisquare.com/comic/complicatethefutur/

  17. T.S.Millar
    April 14, 2010, 1:48 am | # | Reply

    I’m tell’n ya, Dietzle is too smart for his own good…

    • Fairportfan
      April 14, 2010, 3:42 am | # | Reply

      Yep. Monica may be about to prove it.

  18. Dusty668
    April 14, 2010, 2:00 am | # | Reply

    Woman, you better poit me some kibble!

  19. Fairportfan
    April 14, 2010, 3:43 am | # | Reply

    If Miss Kitty tried that, one of the grandbabies would shortly have lovely fur bedroom shoes.

  20. SoWhyMe
    April 14, 2010, 4:49 am | # | Reply

    Bet she doesn’t forget to feed him on time again though. Still, if the dog is that smart and dexterous, why can’t he just get his own food? I’ll bet he could even work an electric can opener.

    I like how the idea light bulb comes from his tail.

    • eschmenk
      April 14, 2010, 7:58 am | # | Reply

      Actually, I think Dietzel is wagging his tail because he’s already enjoying the thought of what he is going to do. It’s almost like Muttley’s (a dog in Hanna-Barbera cartoons) snicker. Getting the food himself would be a lot less fun. 🙂

      Of course, Dietzel managed to open the door to let visitors into Monica’s house, but didn’t let himself out, either.

    • jayessell
      April 14, 2010, 8:12 am | # | Reply

      I used to say “No good comes from having a talking dog.”

      Son of Sam, Scrappy-Doo for example.

      I do like Dukey from Johnny Test.

      Dietzl should be able to get his own food.
      And coffee.

    • BMonk
      December 20, 2024, 11:34 am | # | Reply

      Word of god – from the Complete Guide: “He [Dietzel] has shown some erratic intelligence, but mostly only acts human-like when it suits the plot.”

  21. Graymalkin56
    April 14, 2010, 6:17 am | # | Reply

    It’s things like this — hyper intelligent dogs who can grasp air horns — that really make it hard for me to suspend my disbelief when reading this comic. (wink)

  22. Kestralyn
    April 14, 2010, 6:20 am | # | Reply

    Dietzel! I’ve missed him 🙂

  23. The Old Wolf
    April 14, 2010, 7:18 am | # | Reply

    Dietzel is a great character for comic relief. I’ll be interested to see if anything comes of him in a significant way as the comic develops; Snoopy was no more than a dog at first…

    And on the w00t front, my Wapsi Volume 4 arrived yesterday.

    *chomp snarf gobble snarf yum* Aaahhh… 🙂

  24. Matthew
    April 14, 2010, 7:52 am | # | Reply

    I think I saw this gag in Garfield this week. Has he been reading Garfield?

    • Paul Taylor
      April 14, 2010, 11:49 am | # | Reply

      I wouldn’t read Garfield even if it meant world peace.

      • txmystic
        April 14, 2010, 11:53 am | #

        Whoa, dude…

      • SoWhyMe
        April 14, 2010, 3:50 pm | #

        I agree. Garfield used to be funny. Now, it’s just endlessly repititious. Has been for some time.

      • Bloodyboots
        April 14, 2010, 9:39 pm | #

        But would you read it for Whirled Peas?

      • Dr. Jeff
        April 15, 2010, 12:09 am | #

        Aw, Bloodyboots… Give peas a chance! 😉

      • CrashFu
        April 15, 2010, 1:15 am | #

        Awww, c’mon dude. Garfield isn’t that bad IF you read it under the specific mindframe that the strip is not about a fat orange cat, but rather it is a case study on the psychosis of one Jon Arbuckle.

      • Don B.
        July 12, 2010, 5:27 am | #

        I hear ya, funny comics that aren’t even remotely funny bug me. Kinda like the way they find the souless manniquins who host those funniest home video shows. Yeah, I know that they are real people but they all act like they sold their soul to get there only to find that they hate it and can’t escape. What’s supposed to be a funny joke come across as “kill me now, somebody…anybody?” Pretty much what I was thinking anytime I attempted to read Garfield. I’ve always wanted to feed him to Marmaduke but have been afraid that he would die of cholesterol poisoning or something.

      • BMonk
        December 20, 2024, 11:37 am | #

        You’re not even a fan of “Garfield Minus Garfield”? https://garfieldminusgarfield.net/

  25. Julie
    April 14, 2010, 7:54 am | # | Reply

    Heh…that looks like the way I was treated by my parents when I was a teenager. I never got the ‘airhorn alarm’, but I did have the ‘big metal pot beaten by a big metal spoon over your head alarm’.

    Sometimes I relate so very well to poor Monica. 🙂 That said, I’d never be able to murder Dietzel for the rude awakening…but that’s probably just because I had the aforementioned conditioning…and because I love dogs more than I love most people…

  26. eschmenk
    April 14, 2010, 9:31 am | # | Reply

    Monica should be glad that Dietzel didn’t grab Tina in the middle of the night and hook a giant siren or something like that to her while she was shut down. 😀 Just seeing Tina that cheery so early in the morning would be bad enough. Of course, Tina probably gets going earlier than Monica, anyway.

    Actually, the air horn was superfluous. If you are sleeping, just having a dog start barking like crazy right into your ear is bad enough. For example, it might decide that it needs to alert you to the fact that a bread machine that you just bought and set up suddenly started kneading dough in the middle of the night and it dare not let you sleep until you investigate the source of the strange noises.

    • SoWhyMe
      April 14, 2010, 3:54 pm | # | Reply

      Has Dietzel ever stooped to something as dog-like as barking?

      • eschmenk
        April 14, 2010, 9:12 pm | #

        Well, you might not want to be reminded of it, but this was pretty dog-like, actually, and to some extent this was, too, but I have to admit this wasn’t. That last one was just freaky!

      • SoWhyMe
        April 14, 2010, 10:07 pm | #

        -He’s just sending pee-mail for other dogs.
        -Dogs don’t have lips so they improvise
        -Never, ever tell anyone your phobias.

  27. Fnord
    April 14, 2010, 9:58 am | # | Reply

    Good dog!
    Good, good dog!

    • Etak
      May 14, 2012, 10:26 am | # | Reply

      I agree! He didn’t bark! How well-trained he is.

  28. Gunnr
    April 14, 2010, 10:04 am | # | Reply

    A half siamese with a really “whiney” meow “digging” on a door that rattles against the door frame is not really conducive to sleep either. . .I feed mine right before I go to bed.

    • Kaibyo
      April 14, 2010, 11:49 am | # | Reply

      Years ago, my part-Siamese used to stick her cold wet nose into my ear and purr at full throttle! If that didn’t work, she’s start patting my face with her little rock hard toes AND if I covered up my face, she’s set herself down FIRMLY on her butt, reach forward, garb paw-fuls of blanket or sheet and haul the covers off of me . Siamese are very determined cats. And yes, they whine.

      • Fatuncle
        April 14, 2010, 4:06 pm | #

        Now mine, a full Siamese, was quiet, even discrete. She would crawl under the covers, work her way down to my feet, and start to wash my feet with a tongue that was the equivalent of 50-grit sandpaper – while, note well, holding on firmly with both paws, the claws set just enough that if I jerked or kicked, I would draw blood. The only loud noises were my screams …

      • BMonk
        December 20, 2024, 11:39 am | #

        Yes. Siamese (and Burmese) tend to be very vocal, and loud. Somewhat like many dogs . . .

  29. Centaur1971
    April 14, 2010, 11:07 am | # | Reply

    Don’t you hate people that ‘horn-in’ when you’re trying to sleep?

  30. txmystic
    April 14, 2010, 11:08 am | # | Reply

    I like the poking…most dogs just nudge with their cold, wet schnozzes, bless their furry little hearts.

    • SoWhyMe
      April 14, 2010, 4:12 pm | # | Reply

      The great thing about dogs is how unbelievably happy they are when you wake up, responding to their respectful little nudge. They are beside themselves with joy. A person poking you awake would just complain about how much you sleep, or some such.

  31. kingklash
    April 14, 2010, 11:37 am | # | Reply

    Dietz’ might not have enough dexterity to use a can opener. Pushing buttons, grasping big aerosol cans, opening certain doorknobs, that’s one thing. maintaining all the proper tensions for even a standard Swing-Away opener, different set of muscles.

  32. Vex Godglove
    April 14, 2010, 12:10 pm | # | Reply

    Mon should be glad she doesn’t have a cat. The vast size difference is the only thing keeping your cat from eating you.

    That said, I love cats. For that very reason.

    • SoWhyMe
      April 14, 2010, 10:23 pm | # | Reply

      Oh, I don’t know. Some can develope a deep and abiding fondness for certain people, such as Christain,

  33. hewolf
    April 14, 2010, 3:12 pm | # | Reply

    I think Dietz was trying a subtle approach that Monica was sleeping too much.

  34. Fairportfan
    April 14, 2010, 4:01 pm | # | Reply

    Kate reminded me that Robert A Heinlein said:

    Waking someone unnecessarily does not merit a death sentence.

    For the first offense.

    • Virnin
      April 14, 2010, 9:20 pm | # | Reply

      He wrote much wisdom from the mouth of Lazarus Long!

  35. The Old Wolf
    April 14, 2010, 7:36 pm | # | Reply

    I’m reminded of the cartoon by Gary Larson that showed a dog sitting behind Leonardo DaVinci (I think), and the caption read “Where’s my supper? One of the “great masters”, hah!” or some such…

  36. LW18(LADYWOLF)
    April 14, 2010, 8:50 pm | # | Reply

    Fairportfan, I would never touch any alcoholic beverages. I made my comment based on seeing my dad suffer from hang-overs before he decided to give up drinking.

  37. toraush Naull
    April 14, 2010, 11:21 pm | # | Reply

    I love Deitzel any comic that centers on him is a good thing

    • J-Earl
      September 27, 2024, 2:59 pm | # | Reply

      He should have a spinoff comic.

  38. Centaur1971
    April 15, 2010, 11:18 pm | # | Reply

    Little boy blue, go blow your horn
    the sheeps in the meadow, the cows in the corn
    It doesn’t matter that Monica’s sleeping like a log
    She’s gonna kick your ass, you suicidal dog!

  39. Choochel
    April 15, 2010, 11:29 pm | # | Reply

    Bra?!?! XD

  40. Centaur1971
    April 15, 2010, 11:31 pm | # | Reply

    Another might be:
    Little dog Dietzel, go blow your horn
    the sheeps in the meadow, the cows in the corn
    Monica screams, as she rouses from sleep
    DIETZEL, YOU MEAN-ASS SON OF A *BLEEP*!

  41. J-Earl
    November 27, 2022, 2:37 am | # | Reply

    Personally, I like:
    Roses are red,
    Violets are blue,
    Dietzel you woke me up,
    You $*%&(@%@&^&^)# @#^$%&(^()# $@%@$#@#^*)^% *#%*(*@&#%&* @^$&$%)^(($^@%^@ &$#^%@@&^@#!!

    • J-Earl
      September 27, 2024, 2:58 pm | # | Reply

      I actually wake up faster to the sound of my cat gagging about throw up a hairball on top of me in bed.

      But, I’m different that way.

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