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"Just A Scratch"
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Just A Scratch

by Paul Taylor on October 15, 2010 at 12:00 am
Story: Wapsi-Archive
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Discussion (102) ¬

  1. vince
    October 15, 2010, 12:02 am | # | Reply

    Whoops, Tina just let the ‘cat’ out of the bag… I suspect a visit to the bibliotechi is in order… to have Phix splain why she did that…

    • SoWhyMe
      October 15, 2010, 1:15 am | # | Reply

      Phix doesn’t have to explain anything to anyone. Although … Monica does have 3 protectors who could, should the need arise, make cat food out of Phix. So even Phix has something to fear. She’s best stay on Monica’s good side just to be safe.

      • W.
        October 15, 2010, 10:20 am | #

        I think Phix was directly responsible for saving Tina from being destroyed. Who knows what Phix promised to guarantee Tina’s good behavior. Her life might just be forfeit. I hardly think what she did to Tina to remind her to behave was so terrible.
        As long as Phix is in the Library she cannot be harmed. So becoming cat food is not a possibility. Yeah, I like Phix. I have a soft spot for librarians.

      • SoWhyMe
        October 15, 2010, 1:40 pm | #

        True, but she leaves the safety of the library from time to time now. Of course, with all the knowledge there she just might know how to switch the GGGs off at will so it’s hard to know who would really has the upper hand.

      • Sitnalta
        October 15, 2010, 9:41 pm | #

        Somehow, I don’t think Phix has anything to worry about from anybody. Maybe the golems could restrain her, but you don’t get to be top predator in an entire dimension without being a very large fish in a very small pond.

      • SoWhyMe
        October 16, 2010, 12:31 am | #

        Well, she’s top as far as we know. We thought the GGGs were the end all be all as well, until Phix showed up. Who knows to what entity Phix may have to answer. Something we have not, as yet, encountered. As the song says, everybody serves somebody.

      • GEEKONCALL
        October 16, 2010, 4:55 pm | #

        This sounds like one of those unanswerable questions. Like what happens when the iresistable force meets the unmovable object?

  2. Jim
    October 15, 2010, 12:02 am | # | Reply

    Heheheh . Freudian slip ?

  3. MAKATTACK
    October 15, 2010, 12:03 am | # | Reply

    wow, from cryptic and metaphorical to outright saying it in 2 seconds flat.

  4. geekoncall
    October 15, 2010, 12:06 am | # | Reply

    Phix! Every Vets nightmare patient.

    • Jerry Lewis
      October 15, 2010, 12:14 am | # | Reply

      Don’t even suggest getting her Phixed, let alone declawed.

      • Qalypso
        October 15, 2010, 12:16 am | #

        Ow! Also booo!

      • Alan
        October 15, 2010, 12:34 am | #

        Seconded. the pun is worse than than the claws.

      • txmystic
        October 15, 2010, 8:07 am | #

        Are you saying that joke sphinx?

      • bmonk
        October 15, 2010, 5:59 pm | #

        Both stunk. Why couldn’t I have gotten here first to use them?

      • MAKATTACK
        October 15, 2010, 1:08 am | #

        although ironically, I’m sure Phix might have a book or two on the subject…

      • StJason
        October 15, 2010, 3:17 am | #

        What is with this groups Phixation on bad puns? Is there no other humor? Is everyone so talon-tless?

      • txmystic
        October 15, 2010, 8:08 am | #

        I’ll phix your wagon…

      • Lustwae
        October 15, 2010, 9:00 am | #

        Id be lion if i said this thread wasn’t headed for disaster.

      • bmonk
        October 15, 2010, 5:59 pm | #

        Lustwae–you have an eagle eye for the key point.

      • kingklash
        October 15, 2010, 10:33 am | #

        The whole place is riddled with puntential. The air’s practically thiki with it. Litter’d, one might say. You don’t even have to bust your Cheops to start from scratch round these parts.

      • MAKATTACK
        October 15, 2010, 11:18 am | #

        Puns are apparently the cat’s meow at the moment…

      • bmonk
        October 15, 2010, 6:00 pm | #

        MAKATTACK, yet, they have wings…

    • GEEKONCALL
      October 15, 2010, 8:26 pm | # | Reply

      OH MY GOD, I’VE CREATED A MONSTER!!!

      • BigBadRichard
        October 15, 2010, 8:37 pm | #

        WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!!!

      • SoWhyMe
        October 15, 2010, 9:23 pm | #

        Well … when you’ve created a monster, there is only one thing you can do … SING! (and dance)

  5. Atomic
    October 15, 2010, 12:10 am | # | Reply

    And the truth will out!

    Next up — ???

  6. Fairportfan
    October 15, 2010, 12:21 am | # | Reply

    Ooops!

    Yeah, i named my kitten after your friend … heh heh … of course you believe me, right?

    Though i have t admit i loved Nudge’s interjection…

    • SoWhyMe
      October 15, 2010, 1:26 am | # | Reply

      I’m not sure what “if only” means. If only cats were used for target practice? Or was she alluding to Phix as the target? And why is the phrase out of thin air like that? Usually it has to still issue from Tina’s mouth, even if from a specific demon. Seems as if Monica didn’t hear it.

      • txmystic
        October 15, 2010, 8:27 am | #

        I imagine it was indeed Nudge speaking “under Tina’s breath”, as it were, which might indicate that Nudge was the one guilty of having the “ideas”, that if acted upon, Phix says Tina would have been punished.

        It sounds very much like the kind of comment that would be made by someone biding his time, waiting for the right moment to strike…

      • SoWhyMe
        October 15, 2010, 1:29 pm | #

        Could be. Perhaps Nudge has an agenda well beyond simply getting the others going so Tina can continue to live.

      • eschmenk
        October 15, 2010, 4:45 pm | #

        Or maybe Dietzel has been reading “Telepathy for Dummies”.

        I’m not sure if there would be any particular reason for a demon to think, “if only” beyond knowing that Phix is a predator. However,Tina (Nudge?) was trying to push Monica to take Amanda to the Bibliothiki and that backfired. Maybe it was that or the expectation that things like that could happen again. My guess is that there are many things behind that reaction.

  7. diTaykan
    October 15, 2010, 12:25 am | # | Reply

    Declawing is cruel, it’s unethical, I would call it mutilation and it’s a ‘procedure’ that permanently affects balance, ability to defend itself, and can leave the cat in constant pain for the rest of his or her life. Not only that, one incident is not enough to even remotely justify declawing. I would MUCH get scratched occasionally or my couch a bit torn up than that my cat can’t swat my mom’s dog across the nose when he’s getting too close or too rough and she feels threatened.

    For that matter, it looked like Phix’s nail was puncturing instead of scratching– wouldn’t Monica notice that? And that Phix’s nails are way wider than those of any cat (excepting large varieties Tina wouldn’t have)?

    • noooo
      October 15, 2010, 3:14 am | # | Reply

      damn, there’s still people declawing cats? wow. that’s.. terrible. around here it’s illegal and that’s a good thing. a cat without claws? crippling a creature for the sake of unscratched skin-people sure looove their pets, huh. if you can’t stand the scratches, don’t get a cat!

      • Artemisia
        October 16, 2010, 5:27 pm | #

        Our cat had all it’s claws and went outside often we never got scratches (part from when we trimmed the claws) we loved her even when she left the adorable little kitty stage. Wouldn’t dream of getting her declawed (not only because if anyone DID get declawed in that procedure it would be the vet) but the adults and the furniture received more damage from the kids than the cat. (cat never harmed the kids… kids tried not to harm the cat) but they never had the kids declawed either…

    • StJason
      October 15, 2010, 3:18 am | # | Reply

      You know what is funny? You object to the declawing comment, not the SHOOTING WITH GUNS comment.

      • Kifflette
        October 15, 2010, 4:03 am | #

        Thing is that shooting with guns is at least over quickly…declawing is a lifetime of pain and inability to perform some basic actions (proper back stretching etc) that rely on the cat having the ability to ‘grab’ with their claws. If you don’t want a cat with claws, don’t have a cat.

      • TheSkulker
        October 15, 2010, 4:54 am | #

        I would suspect that diTaykan, as myself, did not feel the need to point out the cruelty of shooting cats. Only the sick would condone such behavior. However, that is not the overriding attitude for declawing cats. Too many people don’t realize how cruel and inhumane it is – hence her/his comment.

      • Akamar
        October 15, 2010, 8:34 am | #

        I refuse to declaw my pets, specifically because it’s inhumane. I’d also agreed with the request of the rescue group I adopted my BonBon from to not do so.;3

      • SoWhyMe
        October 15, 2010, 12:29 pm | #

        Right. Monica said the cat shooting in jest. I’m sure she would never do that, however, declawing cats is a normal fixture in society. Monica offers it as a viable possibility, unlike the cat target practice.

      • StJason
        October 16, 2010, 9:11 pm | #

        I’m not sure if declawing is a ‘normal fixture’ (It’s a lot easier, faster, cheaper, and non-permanent to trim them…).
        Incidentally, I agree, and would never declaw my cats. Not being able to climb, no defense against the neighborhood dogs… yeah, they can scratch up the furniture… but there are ways around that too.

      • diTaykan
        October 16, 2010, 8:50 pm | #

        “target practice” is often an exaggeration meant to show scorn or dislike, or even in jest as SoWhyMe said. My dad calls the deer in our neighbourhood target practice, and he doesn’t even own a gun.

        Of COURSE I’m against shooting cats. I can’t think of anyone who WOULDN’T be, unless by ‘shooting’ you mean ‘giving an injection’. I didn’t feel the need to address that. Declawing, however, I do– since I know people who say that ANY cat they ever adopt MUST or WILL be declawed because “it’s safer”.

      • StJason
        October 16, 2010, 9:14 pm | #

        Ouch. Don’t get your back up there. Methought the incongruity to be amusing (should have put a smiley or three in there),, and didn’t mean to start a bout of hissing and spitting. Perk your ears up, you are amongst friends here. Cream? 😀

    • txmystic
      October 15, 2010, 8:15 am | # | Reply

      It is very cute when a kitten realizes there will be rewards for using the scratching post. Whnever my neighbor’s kitten wanted a treat or even some attention, she’d march over to the post and start scratching, looking at my neighbor to demonstrate what a wonderfully good cat she was being!

      • Akamar
        October 15, 2010, 8:36 am | #

        XD it took a bit of work to get my cat to realize what the scratching post was for and to leave the mattress sides alone. I had to line the top with goodies (she was tiny at the time) and rub some into the surface of the post. Then I sort of took hold of her and set her on it like a tree. She figured it out. ;3

      • StJason
        October 16, 2010, 9:15 pm | #

        We used to have a cat that would literally climb up one side of the scratching post, then climb down face first the other side. Weirdist thing to watch…

    • Julie
      October 15, 2010, 10:32 am | # | Reply

      I agree declawing is very cruel and unnecessary. It might not be the author’s intent to suggest it is, but it feels important to comment on it just in case someone gets an idea and thinks it’s acceptable.

      • Paul Taylor
        October 15, 2010, 12:31 pm | #

        We have a cat, and it has chosen me as its go-to person for attention and pestering. 🙂 I love it and it has all of its claws, that I trim regularly. I would NEVER dream of declawing a cat, I feel it’s barbaric and cruel.

      • NOTDilbert
        October 17, 2010, 3:07 am | #

        If your cat is misbehaving unacceptably, shoot it – with a squirt gun filled with water. It’s startling, destracting, and does no harm (although the indignant glare during the subsequent grooming session would suggest otherwise). Also for dogs or cats – an empty soda can with a few pebbles, thrown off to the side (Not AT the, ah, little angel).

    • Fortune
      October 15, 2010, 12:00 pm | # | Reply

      My little battlecat is inclined to have razors where her claws should be. She’s also extremely partial to using them on me – a bad habit she picked up from her former owner which I’ve yet to be able to train her out of completely. The first six months I had her I wore a constant sleeve of scratches up and down my forearms.

      All that said, there’s no way in HELL I’d even consider de-clawing the fuzzy little menace. That’s just brutal.

      In addition to which, you know what works just as well? Claw clippers. Yeah. Couple of bucks worth of claw clippers and no more scratches for me 🙂

      • Fortune
        October 15, 2010, 12:10 pm | #

        Oh, an addendum. If clipping your cat’s claws seems too daunting and you don’t have the time/knowledge to train your kitty cat, I’ve heard that http://www.softpaws.com/ work pretty well. Yay for kitty manicures!

      • SoWhyMe
        October 15, 2010, 12:55 pm | #

        I would see the downside of this as making the cat defenseless much like declawing.

        Though I don’t own any pets, I watched the video on putting on the nail covers and got a chuckle out of the cat’s expression during the process. It had a constant expression of “WTF are you doing and why are you doing it to ME!?”

      • Kermit
        October 15, 2010, 1:39 pm | #

        For those who don’t know yet, declawing is removing the last joint of each toe. Simply clipping the claws is painless (if not too short – think of your own nails), non-crippling, and they grow out all too-soon anyway.

      • StJason
        October 16, 2010, 9:16 pm | #

        @SoWhyMe: It’s not as debilitating as declawing. Plus, even with clipped claws, a cat could climb a tree, where declawed cats cannot.

      • Fortune
        October 17, 2010, 10:57 am | #

        If your cat’s in so much danger that the habitually require the use of razor sharp claws, then I’m afraid there are bigger problems there than whether your furniture gets frayed or not.

        A full grown house cat can deliver quite a startling amount of force behind it’s swipe, more than enough to deter the average inquisitive doggie nose. Trimmed claws are perfectly adequate for all the things a cat is likely to encounter in every day life. And if it were to run off into the wild, it wouldn’t be long before it had it’s razors back anyway.

        Declawing, on the other hand, is quite a different prospect, and is actually outlawed in most developed nations. It amounts to chopping off your cat’s fingertips just to save your favourite chair from needing a cover.

    • Artemisia
      October 16, 2010, 5:32 pm | # | Reply

      Interesting that through this thread we haven’t yet had a person who is in favour of declawing cats defend their thoughts or give us the other side of the story. What are we to make of that? Come… defend your honour!

    • GEEKONCALL
      October 16, 2010, 5:38 pm | # | Reply

      I don’t have a cat at present but I remember something called PediPaws on TV.

      • diTaykan
        October 16, 2010, 8:52 pm | #

        Those things are wonderful– and if you screw off the protective orange cap, you can use them on your own nails. Much better than a clipper, imo.

    • Ark
      October 16, 2010, 7:39 pm | # | Reply

      We’ve had our cats for 13 years, and we don ‘t trim their claws. There’s no need, the claws occationally break & fall off on their own, then new ones grow in.
      I don’t know about dogs, but there’s no reason to trim a cats claws. The cats can easily do that themselevs. Come on, that’s what they’re doing when they’re scratcing basically anything capeted that they can reach.
      Besides, if you screw up a claw-triming, you’ve basically de-clawed them even more painfully than the vet would have

      • Fortune
        October 17, 2010, 10:46 am | #

        I have to dispute you there. My cat is quite old now, and suffers from arthritis. She doesn’t do a lot of scratching of anything unless it’s attached to a person who could potentially give ear-rubs (she gets especially violent if you STOP rubbing before she’s had enough). If her claws aren’t trimmed regularly, she has trouble walking on carpeted surfaces, and often gets her claws stuck in the couch, which is painful when she decides to jump off it :O

        Claw trimming isn’t all that hard. You don’t need to take off more than the sharp tip, just enough to blunt them.

  8. Faceless Minion
    October 15, 2010, 12:53 am | # | Reply

    I don’t see any reason that Tina should HAVE to try and hide the truth, or explain it away. Phix is being a monster, despite all her complaining about not wanting to act like one, and Tina is one of the most benign and helpful beings around. The cat doesn’t just deserve to be let out of the bag, the cat-beast in question deserves to be stuffed IN a bag and left to think about her actions for a few hundred years. :p

    • SoWhyMe
      October 15, 2010, 1:07 am | # | Reply

      Well, Phix IS a monster and that will come out from time to time regardless of her reformation and best efforts. Add to this the fact she just “delt” with several demons. We don’t know what that meant, but it may have been sanguine (and perhaps tasty) and her blood lust was high at the time she pricked poor Tina. Phix may have been doing all she could to hold herself back at that moment, settling for a slight drawing of blood to ease her desires and keep from literally biting off Tina’s head.

      • ProleBoi
        October 15, 2010, 1:38 am | #

        Is Phix really a monster, though? She seems to devote most of her time and energy to bullying people, and to a lesser degree, manipulating them. She really seems more human than monster. All we know about any potential monsteriousness is what she’s told us, not any obvious actions.

      • Sitnalta
        October 15, 2010, 9:33 pm | #

        She has a room were the walls are made out of human skulls. I’d say that well qualifies her as a “monster.”

      • NOTDilbert
        October 15, 2010, 2:37 am | #

        I agree with SWM. Phix’s nature is a demon hunter, which has been ‘civilizationized’ to include behavior monitor, law enforcer, and judge. Her inner nature still recognizes Tina as prey; all us hyumins know how hard it is sometimes to fight ‘human nature’ and behave as society approves. A scratch? Do I appologize for knocking off a few sesame seeds from my burger? (Well, only if I’m gonna order tea from it later, ya know.)

      • Faceless Minion
        October 15, 2010, 2:33 pm | #

        If your burger is sentient and you’re trying to play holier then thou, then yes, you damn well should. Or you should be acknowledged as a hypocrite, and those that would view this as worthy of shunning you should be free to do so.

        Phix can be whatever she wants, but she deserves the consequences of doing so.

  9. SoWhyMe
    October 15, 2010, 12:54 am | # | Reply

    How does one pronounce G’pa?

    • ProleBoi
      October 15, 2010, 1:34 am | # | Reply

      Guh-pah? My family said ‘grampa’, I knew a couple of kids who even had ‘grandfathers’ — and one kid who had a ‘grampy’. The choice seems to be family-specific, and not geographic or regional (but I could be wrong; this area doesn’t have a lot of natives, so we’re more cosmopolitan).

      • Fairportfan
        October 15, 2010, 11:57 am | #

        Vellie and Maggie call Kate “Ganga” and me “Granmike”.

        Don’t know what they call their biological grandfather, Kate’s ex; they call Kate’s mother “Granny”.

        I called my mother’s parents “Granddad” and “Nana” (which set the style for all my cousins, since i was the eldest of thirteen cousins) and my father’s were “Grandpa” and “Grandma”…

    • TriciaDoesNailsMpls
      October 15, 2010, 10:48 am | # | Reply

      I sometimes refer to my grandparents as G’pa and G’ma, just saying the letter “G” with a suffix of “pa” or “ma” I am guessing that is what Paul is doing as well…

      • SoWhyMe
        October 15, 2010, 12:59 pm | #

        So, it’s Gee-pa?

    • sq_rigger
      October 15, 2010, 6:29 pm | # | Reply

      I’d pronounce it ‘Gee-pa’.

      • Linux Learner
        November 20, 2010, 10:36 am | #

        I figure it’s about like gə-pah.

  10. The Old Wolf
    October 15, 2010, 1:01 am | # | Reply

    Yes, if I were Monica I’d poit into the library toot sweet to find out more about this little “scratch”.

    • Copyright Theft
      October 15, 2010, 1:57 am | # | Reply

      Toot sweet? Wasn’t that in Chitty-chitty bang-bang?

      • The Old Wolf
        October 15, 2010, 7:48 am | #

        Full marks!

      • txmystic
        October 15, 2010, 8:22 am | #

        I imagine the director of C-CB-B merely had to tell Dick van Dyke (heh heh…try using THAT name in a comment over at gocomics) to replicate “Step In Time” from Mary Poppins for both “Toot Sweet” and “Old Bamboo”…

      • Jerry Lewis
        October 15, 2010, 10:47 pm | #

        We amuse ourselves by scatting a few bars from “Yakety Sax” every time Benny Hill appears onscreen.

      • txmystic
        October 15, 2010, 8:23 am | #

        Actually, it might be entertaining to see Phix and Tina recreate “Chu-Chi Face”…

      • Fairportfan
        October 15, 2010, 12:00 pm | #

        …and anyone who thinks “CCBB” is just a cute little film for kids ought to really watch (and listen to) “Chu-Chi Face”…

        (Or consider the Child Catcher. Roald Dahl really didn’t like children…)

      • txmystic
        October 15, 2010, 3:47 pm | #

        The child catcher was the first character to give me nightmares as a child…but now as an adult when I watch that film with my kids, I can tell that Benny Hill was, on several occasions, right on the verge of uncontrollable laughter in his scenes with the child catcher, so that takes the edge off a bit.

        My brother and I would annoy each other with repeated shouts of I can feeeel it in my boooones!

        good times…

      • Fairportfan
        October 16, 2010, 1:42 am | #

        For me it was the Queen/Witch in Disney’s Snow White…

      • Copyright Theft
        October 16, 2010, 4:08 am | #

        Remember Roald Dahl only did the adaptation. The original book was written by Ian Fleming (I think as a Bond story for kids). Though the child catcher wasn’t in the book (quite a few changes according to Wikiped :P)

      • Fairportfan
        October 17, 2010, 2:14 am | #

        “Quite a few changes” is, shall we say, an understatement.

        Basically, DFahl and the producers jacked up the title and a few character names and drove a new story under it.

        I read thebook shortly after i saw the film when it was new, and there is really no resemblance; if you’re familiar with the 1960s spoof “Casino Royale” film and with the Fleming book, the “adaptation” was about that close.

      • SoWhyMe
        October 15, 2010, 1:08 pm | #

        I thought chitty-chitty bang-bang had to do with asian cat reproduction?

        Seriously, though,”Chitty-chitty bang-bang” was a terrible movie. Terrible in the sense of being a badly done movie. I tend to replace the title’s C’s with S’s to describe it.

    • Phix_It
      October 15, 2010, 9:17 am | # | Reply

      It seems I have to phix the misapplication of “Tout de suite”

      http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/390125.html

  11. kellikiss1375
    October 15, 2010, 7:49 am | # | Reply

    first…i believe that I have an avatar…but have no idea how to use it…

    second…i just can’t get used to Monica’s hair!

    • bmonk
      October 15, 2010, 6:04 pm | # | Reply

      This site uses gravatars, so you have to sign up at http://en.gravatar.com/ (or another language site, if you wish)–then it works on a variety of sites.

      • kellikiss1375
        October 18, 2010, 7:32 am | #

        I have a gravatar….

      • morven
        October 18, 2010, 4:18 pm | #

        Which doesn’t explain why it’s not using it. Still, I have a similar problem at *Spiked Math*–sometimes it uses the gravatar, sometimes not–and I haven’t figured out the rule yet.

  12. ziggy78eog
    October 15, 2010, 9:14 am | # | Reply

    Ya, good luck getting that particular “kitty” declawed. Only the brave and the stupid would try to do something like that, and the brave got smart, and found something else to do.

  13. Stephen
    October 15, 2010, 11:59 am | # | Reply

    WHOA!!! Slip of the tounge?
    Tina is sounding more human every so often.

    • Fatuncle
      October 16, 2010, 9:04 pm | # | Reply

      “tongue”

      I can’t stand it —

  14. TheDoctor
    October 15, 2010, 8:45 pm | # | Reply

    PAUL TAYLOR: You are so right about cat claws. It would bethe same as cutting your fingers off your hands at the first knuckle. Of course you’d save money on Nail polish — No! Bad DOCTOR! — Sorry. Try Typeing on your Keyboard that way…. its a real pain in the a… donkey.

    • SoWhyMe
      October 15, 2010, 9:38 pm | # | Reply

      One can always get Lee Press-On Claws.

      • txmystic
        October 15, 2010, 11:59 pm | #

        HISSSSSSSSSS

      • StJason
        October 16, 2010, 9:20 pm | #

        What? She rub you the wrong way with that pun?

      • SoWhyMe
        October 17, 2010, 5:41 am | #

        “He”

  15. Fairportfan
    October 16, 2010, 1:44 am | # | Reply

    I was just looking at this strip again, and realised that Monica must be pretty well used to looking at the bottoms of people’s jaws.

    (On a related note, i think that it was George Carlin who speculated on what an elevator must smell like to a midget…)

    • TheSkulker
      October 17, 2010, 4:20 am | # | Reply

      Ooh. That’s a thought that I really, REALLY didn’t want in my brain!

      • Fairportfan
        October 17, 2010, 9:25 pm | #

        My apologies.

  16. Centaur71
    January 16, 2024, 8:23 am | # | Reply

    Oh, THAT type of cat…

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