It’s astounding the amount of people who assume compliments are backhanded at best, sarcasm at worst. I really hate the depths that humanity has sunken to when it’s perfectly normal to think that anyone who talks to you wants to use you for something, that it couldn’t be anything as simple as just talking to you or wanting to be friends. Being honest and sincere has actually alienated a few people because they didn’t trust me; they thought I was building up for a huge betrayal or something.
I just don’t understand why these people are so much more comfortable being lied to on a regular basis…
Self-alienation as a form of mental armour. You can’t be hurt or betrayed if you never let anyone get close enough to do it.
On the flip-side, however, old wounds fester when they are not confronted or acknowledged. Eventually the individual in question is left with a volatile balance of rage, despair, and apathy.
I agree. It’s not the compliment she’s upset about–it’s the cosmic responsibility that she’s just been informed belongs to her. She doesn’t even get a chance to turn it down.
I agree with you, Faux. It’s sad that you can’t even be nice to someone without them wondering what kind of hidden motivations and secret agendas you might have under the ‘nice guy act’. It says some really heartbreaking things about society, if you ask me. Act like a jerk, people expect and accept it. Act like a decent human being, and you’re instantly ‘creepy’ or ‘sketchy’.
You’re both painting people with a pretty wide paintbrush. In SOME areas that’s reasonably true, other locations it’s completely false. I find it’s more true in the big bad city than in less crowded areas
It has been proven in tests with lab rats that overcrowding leads to violence, abuse, and victimization. Such an environment leads people to be untrusting, which is what you’re complaining about.
I tend not to believe compliments because I’ve to often been “the failure”, or “the scapegoat” to trust that they’re not trying to manipulate me, or just blowing smoke to make me feel better.
It’s “thank you”. When someone compliments you, you say, “thank you”. Miss Maners would be shocked at you just now!
dude #1 – “Hey, nice coat.”
dude #2 – “Fuck you”
see, doesn’t work!
It’s astounding the amount of people who assume compliments are backhanded at best, sarcasm at worst. I really hate the depths that humanity has sunken to when it’s perfectly normal to think that anyone who talks to you wants to use you for something, that it couldn’t be anything as simple as just talking to you or wanting to be friends. Being honest and sincere has actually alienated a few people because they didn’t trust me; they thought I was building up for a huge betrayal or something.
I just don’t understand why these people are so much more comfortable being lied to on a regular basis…
Self-alienation as a form of mental armour. You can’t be hurt or betrayed if you never let anyone get close enough to do it.
On the flip-side, however, old wounds fester when they are not confronted or acknowledged. Eventually the individual in question is left with a volatile balance of rage, despair, and apathy.
I think she’s more saying “don’t think you can wrap this huge responsibility up in a compliment and I’ll be glad you handed it to me.”
I agree. It’s not the compliment she’s upset about–it’s the cosmic responsibility that she’s just been informed belongs to her. She doesn’t even get a chance to turn it down.
I agree with you, Faux. It’s sad that you can’t even be nice to someone without them wondering what kind of hidden motivations and secret agendas you might have under the ‘nice guy act’. It says some really heartbreaking things about society, if you ask me. Act like a jerk, people expect and accept it. Act like a decent human being, and you’re instantly ‘creepy’ or ‘sketchy’.
You’re both painting people with a pretty wide paintbrush. In SOME areas that’s reasonably true, other locations it’s completely false. I find it’s more true in the big bad city than in less crowded areas
It has been proven in tests with lab rats that overcrowding leads to violence, abuse, and victimization. Such an environment leads people to be untrusting, which is what you’re complaining about.
I tend not to believe compliments because I’ve to often been “the failure”, or “the scapegoat” to trust that they’re not trying to manipulate me, or just blowing smoke to make me feel better.