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"A Hangnail"
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A Hangnail

by Paul Taylor on September 1, 2011 at 12:00 am
Story: Wapsi-Archive
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Discussion (84) ¬

  1. Radio365
    September 1, 2011, 1:01 am | # | Reply

    Hooray?

    • Opus the Poet
      September 1, 2011, 1:06 am | # | Reply

      Yeah, that sounds dangerous to me too. she’s been 80K + years able to ignore what would be debilitating pain for humans or even instantly fatal injuries, and now she’s human level vulnerable, apparently.

      That’s a recipe for sure-fire humor, or utter tragedy.

      • jae
        September 1, 2011, 6:14 am | #

        Or sure-fire utterly humorous tragedy 😉

  2. DJ
    September 1, 2011, 1:03 am | # | Reply

    She’s a sexy, female Pinocchio?

    • NOTDilbert
      September 1, 2011, 1:24 am | # | Reply

      I’ve always thought so.

  3. Becky
    September 1, 2011, 1:04 am | # | Reply

    Don’t her people have long life spans? Or does she have a human life span?

    • Wyvern
      September 1, 2011, 1:23 am | # | Reply

      No other golem has ever been seen to have any limited lifespan.

    • SoWhyMe
      September 1, 2011, 1:43 am | # | Reply

      If you mean Lanthians, there has been no indication they were longer lived than any other humans of the period.

    • Eee
      September 1, 2011, 9:05 am | # | Reply

      We don’t know how long Lanthians lived, normally. But keep in mind that Jin having been present when the Calendar Machine was turned on, she was immortal but still killable; as a golem she was REALLY immortal (as in, will outlast the Universe) and unkillable as far as we know. Now, all that’s apparently changed…

    • illiad
      September 1, 2011, 5:21 pm | # | Reply

      ROFL ROFL ROFL!!! 🙂

      – But seriously, someone had better make sure she wont bleed to death????
      but! she’s a golem, indestructable, but what happens when the blood runs out?

      roll on friday…… 😛

  4. Casey
    September 1, 2011, 1:05 am | # | Reply

    My question is will Jin have much difficulty adjusting to having to protect her body from harm? People don’t always realize exactly how much caution goes into protecting yourself from minor injuries in everyday situations.

    • Paula
      September 1, 2011, 1:36 am | # | Reply

      She realised how easily Alan could have died so I suspect she will be okay.

  5. Maark30
    September 1, 2011, 1:07 am | # | Reply

    Wow Jin finally gets her greatest wish. Alan is in for the whirlwind when hurricane Jin tells him this. I just wonder how long it will be before she wants to buy a house and have him move in as she told him one night in her bedroom.

    • Wyvern
      September 1, 2011, 1:25 am | # | Reply

      I wonder if she and Alan can have little golem-ettes.

      • Paula
        September 1, 2011, 1:36 am | #

        <3

      • Maark30
        September 1, 2011, 11:44 am | #

        That thought did occur to me too. Would the little buggers be able to ‘poit’?

      • bmonk
        September 1, 2011, 4:02 pm | #

        I thought all the little buggers poited deposits into their diapers on a regular basis. At least for a couple of years or so.

  6. Novalpha
    September 1, 2011, 1:08 am | # | Reply

    Check out her teeth, guys!

    • Sonicthunder
      September 1, 2011, 6:36 am | # | Reply

      Quick! Steal Tina’s cover story for her teeth!

    • nattyB
      September 1, 2011, 8:59 am | # | Reply

      nice catch I didnt notice

  7. Atomic
    September 1, 2011, 1:15 am | # | Reply

    Mortality! The gift that eventually stops giving!

    • Radio365
      September 1, 2011, 1:29 am | # | Reply

      boooo!

    • Moose Breath
      September 1, 2011, 10:26 am | # | Reply

      Life is a sexually transmitted, terminal condition.

      • Solbet
        September 1, 2011, 11:06 am | #

        Ok, Moose Breath earned a cookie with that one, lol.

    • Me
      September 1, 2011, 3:34 pm | # | Reply

      Life is a journey… and the destination really, really sucks

      • bmonk
        September 1, 2011, 4:10 pm | #

        Nah–that’s not a destination, just a way-station.

        We’ve already seen some characters come back from death, haven’t we?

  8. ShadOBabe
    September 1, 2011, 1:22 am | # | Reply

    Take it easy Jin.
    If you get too excited, you might kill yourself before you get to enjoy all the stubbed toes and paper cuts the rest of your life will provide.

    • NOTDilbert
      September 1, 2011, 3:04 am | # | Reply

      Jin never struck me as a risk-taker; she was way to focused on her goal (fixing the Calendar Machine); after all, Bud blew up the island, not Jin.

      (Bud: “How long before I can live that down!?”)

      • ShadOBabe
        September 1, 2011, 8:11 am | #

        Heh, I meant getting killed on accident.

    • Buggi
      September 1, 2011, 8:59 am | # | Reply

      I’m more worried about the long term affects on Bud and Brandi. As wonderful and as sweet as they are, there’s always the possibility of a jealousy demon whispering in their ear.

      And this could take us into “The Quest for my Relic!” for them. After all, it was seen to by the participants in this grand story to take care of Jin’s issue, so it could be that other issues have a pre-made solution. Or it could be that issues become new and unthought of before. I realize that none of this has to even go into this direction, but I like thinking about things.

      • Eee
        September 1, 2011, 9:12 am | #

        There’s also the long term psychological effects. I don’t think they’ve ever stated it but the GGG probably realize they’ll outlive everyone and everything – Monica, the Earth and Sun, the Universe – but always have each other for better or worse. Before, that applied to all three of them; now, it only applies to Bud and Brandi (and probably Maya). That might cause problems…

      • Wyvern
        September 1, 2011, 3:08 pm | #

        I don’t know about their ultimate longevity, but yes. The three of them have been inseparable (literally, for millenia) since they were thrown into the temple pit where they died. Just the possibility of losing Jin should destabilize their relationship.

      • bmonk
        September 1, 2011, 4:05 pm | #

        Of course, being immortal, they do have enough time to find a similar solution and join Jin in mortality.

        The question then is one of getting the timing right so that nobody gets left alone for too many centuries.

  9. Onikakarot
    September 1, 2011, 1:31 am | # | Reply

    awsome for jin getting her wish and all but im curius how this will effect bud and brandy. there conected in some way as peices of the chimera is the chimera gone forever or will a new 3rd simply be chosen to take jins place

    • FatUncle
      September 1, 2011, 1:35 am | # | Reply

      One of the first things that occurred to me.

    • Paula
      September 1, 2011, 1:37 am | # | Reply

      well
      she IS still a golem so I suspect she is still part of the chimera.
      Just not as powerful as she once was.

    • SoWhyMe
      September 1, 2011, 1:40 am | # | Reply

      Why do they need a third member to take Jin’s place? It’s not like they will ever want to reform the chimera. Those days are behind them.

      • Paula
        September 1, 2011, 1:47 am | #

        The chimera was aggressive and wanted to destroy the planet that is true.
        But with the girls now having free will they could use the power to do great things – such as protecting the planet from an asteroid 🙂

      • SoWhyMe
        September 1, 2011, 1:52 am | #

        Either Bud or Brandi could do that singlehandedly and still sip “refreshments” with May. Each has the power to flatten the sun.

      • Paula
        September 1, 2011, 1:57 am | #

        True 🙂
        Forgot that one.
        Jin had more control over the Chimera than she thought really.
        A dent in the planet really isn’t much damage considering when you remember how powerful they are 🙂

      • nattyB
        September 1, 2011, 9:02 am | #

        Forget the chimera…. Dont you think bud and brandi would like a lil normalcy in there lives as well. To feel something and possibly age. I mean being an indestructable 20 something for eons has to get boring at some point

      • Wyvern
        September 1, 2011, 3:12 pm | #

        Let me get back to you on that in a few eons.

  10. Paula
    September 1, 2011, 1:34 am | # | Reply

    Urm

    She hit her shin.
    Why is her finger bleeding?

    • Sonicthunder
      September 1, 2011, 6:38 am | # | Reply

      May’s already proven to be a bit crazy (and potentially drunk while performing this operation). Noone said she set those parameters correctly (or, at the very least, logically).

      Jin now functions like Jacqui’s apartment.

    • Fairportfan
      September 1, 2011, 8:03 am | # | Reply

      The shin and finger are unrelated, except insofar as they relate to her new condition.

      Her finger’s bleeding because she has a hangnail.

      • Lizzibabe
        September 1, 2011, 7:00 pm | #

        And she yanked on it in fascination. Don’t ask me how I know this…

  11. SoWhyMe
    September 1, 2011, 1:37 am | # | Reply

    Blood? How does she have blood and still a golem? Is it real blood or blood lite? Does she have a circulatory system now? A heart and heartbeat? Any other organs? Details, we need details.

    It’s all great now, but I give it a month of bumps, bruises, cuts, etc, and she’ll be looking back fondly at her prior invulnerability.

    • Paula
      September 1, 2011, 1:42 am | # | Reply

      Heh Blood Lite.

      The same as Blood but with 50% less platelets 😀

      • NOTDilbert
        September 1, 2011, 2:46 am | #

        Lower in cholesterol. 😉

      • FatUncle
        September 1, 2011, 4:25 am | #

        And high levels of aluminium silicate …

    • Yamara
      September 1, 2011, 6:42 am | # | Reply

      Nanobots already exist, they’re called enzymes.

      So we’re all made of clay, running on nanobots that are optimized to repair that clay in a fashion that will eventually fail. When science figures all that out, we can apply the answer to Jin.

      Much more importantly, she is only “sort of” human, but “still a golem”. Which means golem problems can still pertain. So while her head is much clearer, and most of the snowflakes seemed to have been swept away, the big question remains:

      Is she still haunted by Crispy?

  12. scantron
    September 1, 2011, 1:41 am | # | Reply

    Alright!.. I called it!… i’ll take my Moxana points in small, unmarked points please.

    the lifespan thing sucks though. but i’m really wondering just exactly HOW May knows this? she went from “ooh, shiny” to “oh yeah, she’s running under new parameters, of which is ability to feel pain, aging, and death, along with blah, blah, blah…” awfully quick, how in the world did she find out what these “new parameters” are? there’s nothing in-script to account for this sudden omniscience about an object she had no clue about until a few pages ago, the only thing i can think of is that she studied it off-screen in the intervening time because they aren’t wearing the same clothes they were wearing on the strip that Bud brings the relic over to show May for the first time…

    • Paula
      September 1, 2011, 1:46 am | # | Reply

      Maybe because she created Golems she can see things about them that the others cannot.
      Such as how Bud was able to see Tina?

      Or she is just making it up as she goes along.
      Or maybe it was a theory she had along time ago on the reversal of the golem.

      Or all of the above 😀

    • SoWhyMe
      September 1, 2011, 1:55 am | # | Reply

      I get the feeling May was just toying with Bud about the relic and knew it’s purpose from the moment she saw it.

      • Jay-Em
        September 1, 2011, 6:30 am | #

        If Jin And her Mom are anything like each other the teasing- bit is a given.
        I believe Jin’s warped sense of humor comes from her mother’s side.

    • jwhouk
      September 1, 2011, 7:47 am | # | Reply

      Sorry, wrong forum for “Moxanna Points”… (points about three forums over) Go look over with that bunch of Yahoos for that one.

      • Eee
        September 1, 2011, 9:00 am | #

        Talk of Moxanna points are showing up on a lot of forums and websites for those who make correct predictions. Obviously the Foglios ARE insidiously taking over the world as they’ve joked, and whispered rumors have held… 🙂

    • Julie
      September 1, 2011, 8:09 am | # | Reply

      How does May know this? Simple. She read the fine print disclaimer that goes with so many new treatments.

      “Insertion of The Relic may cause nausea, vomiting, hypertension, muscle pains, hang nails, increased awareness of the sensations you experience, and death. Do not insert The Relic if you are pregnant or may become pregant without first consulting with your physician. Small children should not be treated with insertion of The Relic as side effects may include mood changes, recklessness, and inescapable mortality.” 😛

  13. DJ
    September 1, 2011, 2:09 am | # | Reply

    What about the little girl that was “infesting” Jin? Is she gonna turn into Jin’s version of CG?

    • NOTDilbert
      September 1, 2011, 2:57 am | # | Reply

      Mebee a junior Scooby gang – uh, pair, duo, etc.

      If Creepy and Crispy start dressing like Jason and Robin in girl form, though……heh, come to think of it, that’d be kinda cool.

  14. Silver C.
    September 1, 2011, 3:07 am | # | Reply

    I could not believe how Jin is so happy. 🙂 I’m so happy for her too, considering that prior to the calender finale, she had expressed eagerness that once the calender issue was resolved she’d be able to grow old and be “normal”.

  15. C3naris
    September 1, 2011, 5:46 am | # | Reply

    She’ll never be forever young now.

  16. MistressPounce
    September 1, 2011, 6:14 am | # | Reply

    I’m guessing “lifespan” has more to do with the fact she’s running on a battery.

    • Sonicthunder
      September 1, 2011, 6:35 am | # | Reply

      My thought too. And considering that battery’s rested in Shellynx’s forest for more than 80,000 years already, Jin’s lifespan may still be FAR beyond that of our mortal members of the cast.

      • Julie
        September 1, 2011, 8:11 am | #

        Oh. That’s a good point…

    • SoWhyMe
      September 1, 2011, 5:34 pm | # | Reply

      I’m not sure she’s running on the battery as such. The key/battery may have simply had enough power to reconfigure her … once.

  17. The Old Wolf
    September 1, 2011, 7:26 am | # | Reply

    “Oh, this is fantastic! I’ve got cramps! I can’t wait until I have a hangover!”

    I’ll be curious to see how long it takes for the fascination with the hqiz events of mortality to wear off. In the meantime, it’s cute.

    • Lizzibabe
      September 1, 2011, 7:01 pm | # | Reply

      OMG! *THIS* must be why they call it “The Red Tide!”

  18. hewolf
    September 1, 2011, 7:42 am | # | Reply

    She aint gonna be happy when she realizes that she needs to get some pads and stuff… Still though, glad she got what she wanted. But, the saying goes: “Be careful what you wish for.”

  19. Hornet
    September 1, 2011, 10:02 am | # | Reply

    There go the all night sessions with Allen. 🙁

    • Kramegame
      September 1, 2011, 10:09 am | # | Reply

      whaddya mean? it’s not like she can’t still have anerobic sex, she just can’t have anerobic sex when the universe is dead and gone…

  20. Wolf
    September 1, 2011, 11:05 am | # | Reply

    What I’ve been noticing are the bags under May’s eyes – she’s been pushing herself a hellalot. What’s HER limit before she goes over the edge?

    Methinks we’re in for a wild, wild ride.

  21. Takaal
    September 1, 2011, 11:10 am | # | Reply

    … this is all May’s secret plan to have grandkids. Heck knows, my mother’s all over *me* to have kids, and I’m nowhere near 80,000 years old yet!

    • kingklash
      September 1, 2011, 11:45 am | # | Reply

      You only really have to worry if yo’ momma starts to give you Kokopelli-themed items for display around the house. He really loves his job as a fertility facilitator.

  22. Stigmartyr762
    September 1, 2011, 12:47 pm | # | Reply

    I can’t only imagine the horrors/hilarity awaiting Jin’s boyfriend when he shows up.

    • SoWhyMe
      September 1, 2011, 4:20 pm | # | Reply

      “Alan! Remember how we almost broke up over that knife ‘trick’ I did? Watch what happens when I do it now!”
      … *plunge!* *spurt spurt spurt* …
      “Oh! I get it. It really IS a trick this time. Good one for halloween … Jin?”
      “Ooo the room is spinning …”
      “Jin? JIN?!! Great! Now who do I call? 911 or a pottery maker?”

  23. Ertain
    September 1, 2011, 1:16 pm | # | Reply

    Fingers bleeding? Awesome.

  24. Kessog
    September 1, 2011, 4:00 pm | # | Reply

    As usual, it always comes down to Moleeds.

  25. Dana W
    September 1, 2011, 4:19 pm | # | Reply

    I don’t get why blood, injury and lifespan are good things. I hope they don’t do this to the rest of them……..

    Seems more like a curse than a blessing.

    • SoWhyMe
      September 1, 2011, 4:26 pm | # | Reply

      You might feel a bit differently after being alive for a hundred thousand years or so and bored out of your mind after just the first couple of centuries.

      • bmonk
        September 1, 2011, 5:34 pm | #

        Jennifer Fallon’s Tide Lords series has some elements of this theme. Of course, she sees the crisis coming after only about 8 or 10 thousand years or so–after that you find ways to cope with immortality.

      • W.
        September 1, 2011, 8:34 pm | #

        Yeah, even 2,000 years can be unbearable.

  26. Cholo
    September 1, 2011, 6:11 pm | # | Reply

    Ok, looks like its time to call the professionals. You guys help me wrap up Jin in bubblewrap untill they arrieve and install the children-safe furniture and move anything that might damage a toddler into a safe high off-limits place.

  27. Atomic
    September 1, 2011, 11:33 pm | # | Reply

    Wow! Rating went from 54 yesterday to 39 now! Climb that ladder, people!

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