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"Smooth Move"
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Smooth Move
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Smooth Move

by Paul Taylor on May 21, 2010 at 12:00 am
Story: Wapsi-Archive
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Discussion (80) ¬

  1. Fairportfan
    May 21, 2010, 12:05 am | # | Reply

    Sleeping on the floor doesn’t get any better with age, either…

    • Biker Matt
      May 21, 2010, 12:18 am | # | Reply

      At least not without a “matress” to sleep with 😛

      • Fairportfan
        May 21, 2010, 12:46 am | #

        Actually. when i was in my 40s, sleeping directly on the floor was my preferred mode.

      • Fairportfan
        May 21, 2010, 1:02 am | #

        However, the birthday card my mother sent me for my fortieth birthday will be old enough to buy its own beer this October…

      • NOTDilbert
        May 21, 2010, 1:42 am | #

        What? Dietzel had a matress – oh, you mean Monica…..

    • Jim
      May 21, 2010, 4:36 am | # | Reply

      I still take naps on the floor , but I get a little more of the snap , crackel , and pop , when I get up these days .

  2. txmystic
    May 21, 2010, 12:06 am | # | Reply

    She has no idea yet what the ravages of age will do…

  3. WilliamTheUlfr
    May 21, 2010, 12:07 am | # | Reply

    Interesting positions aside, just how old is M anyways?

    • fatuncle
      May 21, 2010, 12:10 am | # | Reply

      I gather that she is mid to late twenties.

    • Paul Taylor
      May 21, 2010, 12:11 am | # | Reply

      She’s 26.

      • WilliamTheUlfr
        May 21, 2010, 1:36 am | #

        Bah, she’s not old enough to complain about age. Then again, neither am I, but it doesn’t stop me most mornings

      • Christi
        May 21, 2010, 3:33 am | #

        Bah, I’m 23 and I complain about being elderly. Or, as my lil’ sis puts it, being “fossilized”.

        I’m fairly certain you’re never too young to complain about being old.

      • Rowen
        May 21, 2010, 9:50 am | #

        I think mid twenties is when you start to notice the sheen of youth wearing off.

        That of you’ve just experienced enough discomfort by then to not want to have to put up with it anymore.

      • Fairportfan
        May 21, 2010, 11:42 pm | #

        Lessee – i was almost thirty when the Big Metabolism Shift hit me.

        Hard.

        Before then i couldn’t gain weight if i tried.

        After, well …

      • jwhouk
        May 21, 2010, 7:38 am | #

        She’s got another 10 years before things will REALLY start hurting on her.

        Like, say, her knees and her back…

      • Lustwane
        May 21, 2010, 8:45 am | #

        Oh if only knee and back issues waited until 35+

      • Biker Matt
        May 21, 2010, 10:14 pm | #

        Technically I’m 35 (almost 36), but I keep a body younger than my 26 and 24 year old brothers 😀

      • NOTDilbert
        May 22, 2010, 12:52 am | #

        She’s probably gonna start having neck and back trouble a lot earlier than that, with all that weight cantilevered out front.

  4. fatuncle
    May 21, 2010, 12:07 am | # | Reply

    Sleeping on a hard floor doesn’t help either, Monica – I’ve learned that the hard way.

    Paul, it should be “You can’t hold YOUR liquor”; you could also put in YOU’RE in the first panel, which is technically correct – but what you have is colloquial usage if you want to leave it.

    • Paul Taylor
      May 21, 2010, 12:10 am | # | Reply

      I fixed the “your liquor” one minute after it updated. Hit refresh. 🙂

  5. Jay Crandall
    May 21, 2010, 12:10 am | # | Reply

    fatuncle: SIR-Please put the grammar hammer down, and step away from your vehicle. (snicker) Sorry, I’ve always wanted to say that…

    • fatuncle
      May 21, 2010, 12:21 am | # | Reply

      Actually, that’s not grammar, but rather, spelling. For grammar, I use the Great Ugly Dog of Conformity to sniff out error – he is sniffing at your ankles even as we speak. How many legs do you really need, Officer?

      • Christi
        May 21, 2010, 3:35 am | #

        Eight legs. Any less is a crime.

      • Prester Fred
        February 11, 2012, 12:09 am | #

        Any fewer is a crime.

        (You see what I did there?)

    • fatuncle
      May 21, 2010, 8:23 am | # | Reply

      And because I am a really nice guy, I’m not going to point out that mattress is spelled with two T’s.

      Um … why is everyone looking at me like that?

      • Ayshela
        April 18, 2012, 2:17 am | #

        THANK you! God, that was driving me insane and I thought I was the only one.

  6. Jay Crandall
    May 21, 2010, 12:12 am | # | Reply

    Hi Paul- (more Dietzl and Phix!)

  7. ziggy78eog
    May 21, 2010, 12:42 am | # | Reply

    Shut your mouth, Monica, you are only in your 20’s. When you start approaching 40, that is when you can start calling yourself “old”.

    • Fairportfan
      May 21, 2010, 12:48 am | # | Reply

      Ha.

      When 40 is long gone, and 60 is receding in the rear-view, *then* talk to me about “old”.

    • txmystic
      May 21, 2010, 10:48 am | # | Reply

      I recently turned 40, so do I now get to tell you to GET OFF MY LAWN??

      • Jim
        May 22, 2010, 3:04 am | #

        I’m a little over a year till I turn 40 , and I’m already gettin’ those urges .

  8. Lw18(LADYWOLF)
    May 21, 2010, 1:06 am | # | Reply

    This is why I will never drink alcohol.

  9. SoWhyMe
    May 21, 2010, 1:25 am | # | Reply

    “Old” is always 20 years older than you are now.

  10. Gunnr
    May 21, 2010, 3:46 am | # | Reply

    The birthday card my momma sent me on my 40th birthday will be old enough to vote at 12:07 pm CDT today, Fairportfan. Thankfully, my momma is still here to give me birthday cards.

    And one way not to pop yourself in the head with a beer bottle is to use a glass. They don’t hurt near as much — and they’re more couther.

    • Fairportfan
      May 21, 2010, 3:53 am | # | Reply

      My mom will celebrate her 87th birthday the end of July…

      • Biker Matt
        May 21, 2010, 10:17 pm | #

        What was she, working on her second marriage?

      • Fairportfan
        May 21, 2010, 11:41 pm | #

        ???

        She was twenty-five when i was born.

        In 1948.

      • Biker Matt
        May 22, 2010, 12:13 am | #

        My apologies… I over-crunched my statement… I thought she was a couple of years older, and didn’t think to ask whether or not you were first-born (if you ARE, that’s where the surprise comes from)

      • Fairportfan
        May 22, 2010, 1:52 am | #

        Yup. First. Younger brother David-Weber-the-bestselling-SF-authr is four years younger, sister Kathrin is a year younger than that, and Jim is eleven years younger than i..

  11. MerchManDan
    May 21, 2010, 4:25 am | # | Reply

    I very much look forward to waching Mon try to explain the terrific bruise to people.

    • Papuasblya
      May 21, 2010, 4:34 am | # | Reply

      I very much look forward to watching Mon get a lot more terrific bruises.

  12. Jim
    May 21, 2010, 4:42 am | # | Reply

    I can see how being a bit top-heavy , can put a strain on the back .

    • NikkTemplar
      May 21, 2010, 8:29 am | # | Reply

      I’m convinced that Monica’s spine is made of Mithril.

      • Lustwane
        May 21, 2010, 8:49 am | #

        There’s a horrid pun/innuendo in there somewhere but I’ll not take pot shots at anyone rocking a sonic screwdriver.

      • The Old Wolf
        May 21, 2010, 10:22 am | #

        Or scrith.

      • NOTDilbert
        May 22, 2010, 12:55 am | #

        Does her spine stop nutrinos? All, or some?

  13. Spencey
    May 21, 2010, 5:35 am | # | Reply

    Poor Monica

  14. eschmenk
    May 21, 2010, 8:09 am | # | Reply

    Dietzel must have turned off the TV and the lights and went to bed…

    • Xiutecuhtli
      May 22, 2010, 1:14 pm | # | Reply

      Well, of course . . . he’s a considerate sort, and wouldn’t leave everything on and run up the light bill.

  15. Cecilia
    May 21, 2010, 9:01 am | # | Reply

    When your doctor says “well, at your age….” THAT”S when you know you’re getting old. Before that it doesn’t count. I’m middle aged and have earned every gray hair and achy joint.

  16. The Old Wolf
    May 21, 2010, 10:22 am | # | Reply

    I submit for your consideration that growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional. I turn 59 next month and I’ve never felt younger. Sure, the joints don’t necessarily agree, but I just tell them to shut up.

    I believe life starts at 65, and I can’t wait to get there! 😀

    • NOTDilbert
      May 22, 2010, 12:58 am | # | Reply

      I tell people no, I’m not in my second childhood; I’m not done with the first.

      But yes, seconds, please if they’re serving!

      • Valkeiper2020
        June 27, 2021, 7:05 pm | #

        Mark Twain said your first childhood ends when your first child is born…
        and your second childhood begins when your first grandchild is born.

    • Fairportfan
      May 22, 2010, 1:54 am | # | Reply

      The Doctor: “What’s the use of growing up if you can’t be childish?”

  17. txmystic
    May 21, 2010, 10:40 am | # | Reply

    oh yes, you give those joints an inch, they take a mile…

  18. kingklash
    May 21, 2010, 11:15 am | # | Reply

    Age is all a matter of perspective/relativity. My grandfather (Dad’s dad in this case) was in his 50’s when Pop was born, and a couple years later, my Aunt came along. Ma’s mom went from riding to town in a horse-drawn wagon as a toddler to driving a big Chevy Surburban the same distance the last years of her life. Turning 40 last November didn’t make me feel old, but not having Ma here for an important milestone did. Either that, or someone is swiping Skittles out of my hourgalss.

    • Fairportfan
      May 21, 2010, 6:03 pm | # | Reply

      My maternal grandmother’s life touched three centuries – born 1900 (which is the last year of the 19th Century, no matter what people think), died 2002 (though the last few years were pretty sad, due to senility.Alzheimer’s).

      Granddad called on her in a buggy when they were courting … and before he died, they had flown in a 727 to visit their grandchildren .

  19. Jim
    May 21, 2010, 12:19 pm | # | Reply

    Yep . We’re all gettin’ a little older .

  20. August
    May 21, 2010, 1:34 pm | # | Reply

    HAH! Geezer.

    • NOTDilbert
      May 22, 2010, 1:00 am | # | Reply

      That’s “Mister Geezer, Sir.” Whippersnapper.

  21. Opus the Poet
    May 21, 2010, 3:32 pm | # | Reply

    51 and three times hit with/by a car or truck. I’m not old but I’m certainly used. I just can’t get comfortable sleeping on the ground after dancing naked in the moonlight any more. Not even with a SYT to massage my aches and pains.

  22. Noamuth
    May 21, 2010, 9:49 pm | # | Reply

    With a chest that large, Monica is allowed to complain about her back pain, at least! XD I get killer shoulder pain and have had some lower back problems myself, an’ I’m only 21.

    • Biker Matt
      May 21, 2010, 10:22 pm | # | Reply

      Maybe we’d see why if you weren’t continually disappearing 😛

  23. Alex C.
    May 21, 2010, 11:14 pm | # | Reply

    I really like it when Monica is casual/a little dumpy. Although, I guess, a forehead bruise isn’t a good look for anyone.

  24. SoWhyMe
    May 22, 2010, 2:28 am | # | Reply

    I finally took the time to find out how to prounounce Villarreal. Not quite like I thought. Then there is this one.
    Though the guy who is saying it puts no actual Spanish dialect into his rendition of the word so it sounds rather stiff, with a heavy American accent.

    • txmystic
      May 22, 2010, 7:15 pm | # | Reply

      The first guy is from Argentina, which means he might be pronouncing it as if it were Portuguese…

      • Fairportfan
        May 22, 2010, 11:44 pm | #

        Ummm, it’s Brazil where they speak Portuguese.

      • TlalocW
        May 23, 2010, 2:46 pm | #

        In Argentina, the double L becomes an “s” sound as opposed to most other Spanish speaking countries where it’s a “y.” Vee-sa-RE-al versus Vee-ya-RE-al.

    • Biker Matt
      May 22, 2010, 9:48 pm | # | Reply

      I prefer seeing the phoenetic display, myself.

    • Fairportfan
      May 22, 2010, 11:51 pm | # | Reply

      Okay – that’s a Castillian pronunciation, i believe, where “v” and “b” are essentially the same phoneme.

      I’ve heard Mexicans pronounce “Villa” – the famous bandit/revolutionary – with an initial sound closer to the English “V”, though still with a bit of a “b” sound in it.

      From what i remember of my high school Spanish classes – almost fifty years ago – we were not taught the Castillian pronounciation (which, BTW, would make the “s” in “Castillian” a “th”, allegedly because some Castillian King lithped), and thus would have rendered the “v” a tad closer to the English “v”…

      • TlalocW
        May 23, 2010, 2:44 pm | #

        One of my degrees in in Spanish, and my favorite professor, whenever we watched or listened to something from Spain, he would always chuckle and point out to us to listen to the s sounds. He would always give us the example of, “Soy de Espana,” becomes, “Thoy the Ethpana.”

        Good memories.

      • Fairportfan
        May 23, 2010, 9:34 pm | #

        Most people who don’t speak it don’t realise how many Significantly Different Spanish accents/dialects there are. (I don’t speak it, but i’ve talked to people – both native speakers and people who speak it as a second … or more … language.)

        A couple such have described the Cuban accent as harsh, or even ugly, for instance.

      • gus3
        May 23, 2010, 11:26 pm | #

        The differentiators of English accents/dialects lie in the sounds of the vowels and semivowels. The differentiators of Spanish accents/dialects lie in the sounds of the consonants.

      • Tallwoman41
        May 24, 2010, 1:37 am | #

        Here in NM, spanish up north sounds a bit more old-world spanish due to isolated spanish settlement (but not as lispy as in spain), while the south is more mexican spanish(with the v sound more pronounced).

    • SoWhyMe
      May 23, 2010, 7:35 pm | # | Reply

      Well, the thing to always remember, any natural human language has little to do with logic or consistancy and more to do with the history of the people who speak it. Heck, that even goes for computer languages, come to think of it. Just look at “C” and all it’s dialects.

  25. ValGrl
    May 23, 2010, 1:02 pm | # | Reply

    Villarreal is my Family name and this is how I’ve always pronounced it :

    in Mexican Spanish: Vee-ya-re(w/rolling ‘r’)-al

    w American accent: Vil-a (short ‘a’ sound)- ril

    may not be ‘right’ but it’s my name and that’s how I use it.

    • Fairportfan
      May 23, 2010, 9:31 pm | # | Reply

      Those are the ways i’ve always heard it pronounced (and the first is how i pronounce it).

    • TlalocW
      May 24, 2010, 12:18 am | # | Reply

      Speaking of different ways to pronounce something…

      My first girlfriend, which was in college and with whom I’m still friends, is Mexican-American. The look that Monica is giving Amanda in the last panel of the very first comic reminded me of the looks she routinely gave (and still) gives me. This was before I knew Monica was Mexican-American herself.

      My friend’s name is Jacinta, and I saw her name before talking with her, and I’m one of the few people who call her hah-SEEN-tah. Most others, including her family, calls her jah-sin-tah just because that’s how most anglos pronounced her name when she was growing up. I’ve even called her parents house, got her brother, and asked for hah-SEEN-tah, and he replied, “Who?” I asked her if she wanted me to call her jah-sin-tah, and she said, no, because it’s not what she’s gotten used to from me.

      On a side note, I’ve turned her onto Wapsi and have bought her all the books, and she’s not normally a comics person. I saw her last week and gave her the latest book, which she was very excited to have.

  26. slywlf
    August 3, 2011, 9:46 pm | # | Reply

    Rereading, and ROTFLMAO ….. again 😉

  27. MidnightDStroyer
    June 8, 2017, 9:20 am | # | Reply

    Strange…I heard that the three sure signs of old age were, loss of memory,…..
    …..
    Dammit! What were the other two?

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