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"What The Frig Newtonians"
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What The Frig Newtonians
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What The Frig Newtonians

by Paul Taylor on May 17, 2012 at 12:00 am
Story: Wapsi-Archive
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Discussion (194) ¬

  1. Casey
    May 17, 2012, 1:33 am | # | Reply

    Bit of a “Q giving Bond the latest gadgets” vibe.

    • zacharaiaha
      May 17, 2012, 3:00 am | # | Reply

      Isn’t ‘Q’ her bra size?

      • Siarles
        May 17, 2012, 3:43 am | #

        *rimshot*

    • 5hademaker
      May 17, 2012, 8:20 am | # | Reply

      bulletproof?

      • 5hademaker
        May 17, 2012, 8:24 am | #

        …and possibly a superconductor…

      • 5hademaker
        May 17, 2012, 8:26 am | #

        non-newtonian = could take a hit from a volcano without transmitting the force to the wearer?

      • Vorlonagent
        May 17, 2012, 10:28 am | #

        …or the wearer could run and not transmit force to the boobs.

      • TheDoctor
        May 17, 2012, 11:38 am | #

        NO FAIR! Monicas cheating at push-ups! 🙂

      • Seananners
        May 17, 2012, 11:07 pm | #

        Riddle me this!

        I am a three headed beast. Cut one head off, I am stronger. Cut two off, I am ten. What am I?

      • Rikushadow5
        May 18, 2012, 3:50 am | #

        And machine-washable, dahling. That’s a new feature.

      • Rikushadow5
        May 18, 2012, 3:50 am | #

        Dammit. Somebody beat me to the joke.

  2. NOTDilbert
    May 17, 2012, 1:33 am | # | Reply

    “And machine washable, dahling, that’s a new feature.”

    • Yhelta
      May 17, 2012, 2:14 am | # | Reply

      Can it withstand temperatures of up to 3000 degrees and is it completely bulletproof?

      • illiad
        May 17, 2012, 2:49 am | #

        bullet proof?? now that would be a good one for … 🙂
        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brainiac:_Science_Abuse

        there is a reference to body armor in my other link…

      • Bucc-i
        May 17, 2012, 4:02 am | #

        I wonder if it can survive re-entry from space?

      • illiad
        May 17, 2012, 8:50 am | #

        now you are just bein stoopid….. 🙂

    • cyberspooked
      May 17, 2012, 2:19 am | # | Reply

      Just remember…. “no capes” lol

    • illiad
      May 17, 2012, 2:43 am | # | Reply

      whoa…. 😛 😛 🙂
      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aramid
      does not melt, good up to 500C.. 😛

      Non-newtonian fabric??? oooohhhh.. 😛 🙂

      • Michael Birks
        May 17, 2012, 7:56 am | #

        Non-newtonian’s fine. it’s when they start getting non-euclidian that you have to worry.

        F’tagn

      • YakkoRex
        May 17, 2012, 11:34 pm | #

        …and the clasp is made from an old paperclip.

      • Etak
        May 18, 2012, 3:03 am | #

        Hey, don’t knock it! That was MacGyver’s suggestion to Lydia.

    • xavienne66
      May 17, 2012, 3:23 am | # | Reply

      Yes please! 🙂

    • Julie
      May 17, 2012, 8:25 am | # | Reply

      <3 Edna!

  3. The O.K. TV Set
    May 17, 2012, 1:34 am | # | Reply

    This is the single most peculiar image I’ve seen in my life, and I’ve seen Funky Forest.

    • Yarner
      May 17, 2012, 2:26 am | # | Reply

      I wouldn’t go as far as THAT, but it’s definitely the most peculiar thing this side of Funky Forest.

      • The O.K. TV Set
        May 17, 2012, 3:09 am | #

        Let’s compromise and say most peculiar imagery this side of Quentin Dupieux’s Rubber?

  4. RogueD
    May 17, 2012, 1:34 am | # | Reply

    That’s going to be one pricey bit of kit.

    • Jerry Lewis
      May 17, 2012, 2:59 am | # | Reply

      Noooo doubt.

    • JeffEpp
      May 17, 2012, 4:26 am | # | Reply

      Monica must be practically, if not actually, independently wealthy. Not grossly so, but enough to allow her to, say, import rare antique vacuum tubes from Russia. Jin may have had a hand in preparing for her, ie via Grandpa’s will.

      Of course, having the ability to port the money out of the local drug dealers pockets could help fund things as well.

      • Julie
        May 17, 2012, 8:27 am | #

        Oh I like that idea! Steal money from the criminals…it’s like Robin Hood but without giving the money away…or pestering the rich people who may or may not be criminals…

      • JRS
        May 17, 2012, 3:45 pm | #

        Russian vacuum tubes aren’t cheap, but they’re not hideously expensive. If she was buying a case of new old stock American made 300Bs, she’d have been showing extreme wealth. A modern clone 300B (very expensive, desirable transmitter triode from the 1930s, often used in single-ended hi-fi) will set you back a couple hundred bucks from a reputable maker like Winged C (Russian). New old stock American made Western Electric 300Bs go for closer to a thousand bucks each.

        So in buying good Russian tubes, Monica is showing that she has taste /and/ a budget. 🙂

        -JRS

      • Dave
        May 17, 2012, 3:54 pm | #

        As an example – new-stock Russian 12AX7 tubes (dual triode, relatively low current, often used for preamplifier and intermediate-stage amplification) are going for around $20-$25 each. They’re still being made by at least two Russian companies.

        The larger, higher-current KT88 and 6550 (beam tetrode, often used as an audio amplifier power-output tube) are running a bit above $50.

        These are all “new build, new stock” tubes, not the “gently matured by aging in an oak cask” new-old-stock tubes Monica acquired. Those must have been pricey!

    • Pamala5768
      May 17, 2012, 9:56 am | # | Reply

      That is what I was thinking after all of the exotic components it has. I suppose she can take out some sort of installment plan to pay for it or just use the old credit card.

      • Maark30
        May 18, 2012, 1:00 am | #

        Not to mention that Lydia may just cut her a deal just for the challenge of coming up with stuff that can survive Monica.

  5. skruddgemire
    May 17, 2012, 1:35 am | # | Reply

    Is this a bra or something off of a Stealth Fighter?

    • Bucc-i
      May 17, 2012, 4:25 am | # | Reply

      Little bit from column A
      Little bit from column B

      • hotduelist
        May 17, 2012, 9:45 am | #

        More then a little bit. If you know what I mean

    • Maji
      May 17, 2012, 10:56 am | # | Reply

      I wonder if the Defense Department got Lydia’s number? They better act quick before Lydia does a number on them.

      • Sheik
        May 17, 2012, 11:48 am | #

        Not to worry.
        She’s a Contractor.

      • illiad
        May 17, 2012, 5:04 pm | #

        yup… and Russian.. country does not matter..you got the money, you got it.. nothing sordid, she has a reputation to protect!!!

        but Like any engineer, she likes a challenge, like Monica.. 🙂

      • Tygr
        May 19, 2012, 10:29 pm | #

        Well, THAT’s good – since Monica’s obviously an expander!

    • Rootwalla
      May 17, 2012, 10:59 pm | # | Reply

      First one, then the other! 🙂

  6. NOTDilbert
    May 17, 2012, 1:35 am | # | Reply

    Are you sure these aren’t embarassment ninjas?

    • dex drako
      May 17, 2012, 8:53 am | # | Reply

      I thought about that too lol

    • Danzier
      May 17, 2012, 6:27 pm | # | Reply

      Embrassment ninjas.

      *chunk-ring-ring-ring-clatter-clatter*

  7. stjen
    May 17, 2012, 1:41 am | # | Reply

    Hmm. Compare with this:

    http://www.superherostuff.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/stormtrooper-female1.jpg

    • Atomic
      May 17, 2012, 9:28 am | # | Reply

      Indeed! Funny how female armor always seems to show some skin.

      • Vorlonagent
        May 17, 2012, 10:33 am | #

        In this case, the armor *is* just as protective…

  8. Roy
    May 17, 2012, 1:42 am | # | Reply

    It’s not everyday you encounter brassieres of armor. What bonus does this one give to AC?

    (And just to be safe… *tosses some spare change into the Pun Jar*)

  9. Fairportfan
    May 17, 2012, 1:44 am | # | Reply

    Tha’s even better than a BRASS bra!

    • Stigmartyr762
      May 17, 2012, 2:14 am | # | Reply

      Just with the spider silk alone. Monica’s sports bra is on an order of magnitude 20x greater than the strongest carbon steel.

      • Siarles
        May 17, 2012, 3:48 am | #

        Spider silk has an extremely high breaking strength compared to steel, but it’s also very flexible; it wouldn’t be able to keep her boobs from bouncing at all. That’s where all the other components come in.

      • Stigmartyr762
        May 17, 2012, 4:50 am | #

        I realize that the spider silk alone wouldn’t be able to keep to keep Monica’s monumental rack from moving about and that it’s every component in the sports bra working in concert to give her the desired support she’s going to need in order to have a proper work out.

    • joecrouse
      May 17, 2012, 6:55 am | # | Reply

      Just wearing that she gets a fairly high armor bonus + bonus agility rolls (due to the containment value) + her figure gets a moderate distraction bonus. and her almost prehensile tounge gets a ranged attack bonus. Poit ability gives her some stealth points to i assume.

      Im guessing shes a rogue/fighter hybrid class.

      • jwhouk
        May 17, 2012, 8:04 am | #

        And someone is rolling up the character sheet even as I type this…

      • zacharaiaha
        May 17, 2012, 11:04 pm | #

        Given her love of music how about a Bard. She has the lore factor. Thief abilities and fighter abilities. The only thing she doesn’t do is play an instrument and no I do not count Kevin as an instrument for this purpose.

      • Platonix
        May 18, 2012, 12:49 am | #

        …um…audiophile? Insists on only the highest-quality sound systems for her home? She’s got the instrument proficiency covered.

    • bmonk
      May 17, 2012, 10:07 am | # | Reply

      And Monica is no witch!

      • NOTDilbert
        May 18, 2012, 2:17 am | #

        But could she be a wotch?

      • bmonk
        May 18, 2012, 2:20 pm | #

        Ummmm. Likely. But I’m not sure.

        A wotch with a Rolex watch maybe???

  10. Stigmartyr762
    May 17, 2012, 2:04 am | # | Reply

    I have a full length leather trench coat I’d like lined with that material.

    • Bucc-i
      May 17, 2012, 4:42 am | # | Reply

      Your not the only one Siggy!

      Some say that he has a trench coat lined with Armid fibers woven with nanotubes, that is held together from dragline silk from Bark Spider and layered with memory carbon gauze.
      All I know is that they call him The Stig…martyr762.

      • Stigmartyr762
        May 17, 2012, 5:29 am | #

        Bucc-i! Really please stop. Yer makin me blush. LMFAO!!!

  11. britishguy
    May 17, 2012, 2:17 am | # | Reply

    It’s Wonder Woman’s Bra, forged in the depths of Amazonia, all who gaze upon it are enthralled by it and will tell no lie!!

    Also, with that construction you could deflect bullets, along with her matching Amazonian bracelets.

    • Patrick
      May 17, 2012, 10:19 am | # | Reply

      I now want to see someone recreate the infamous “golden lasso” using golden orb weaver silk.

  12. Maark30
    May 17, 2012, 2:20 am | # | Reply

    Well what do you know, Paul has invented a substance like Vibranium.

    • jwhouk
      May 17, 2012, 8:05 am | # | Reply

      Unobtanium?

      • Julie
        May 17, 2012, 8:42 am | #

        I wouldn’t call it that. Kevin can haz M’s rack after all. 😛

  13. Yarner
    May 17, 2012, 2:27 am | # | Reply

    Nen-Newtonian…
    good thing she didn’t have to go as far as Non-Euclidean… It’s enough for Tina to have occasional tentacles.

    • zacharaiaha
      May 17, 2012, 2:56 am | # | Reply

      Considering Monica’s ability to Poit, Non-Euclidean applies as well. Anyway the other major non-newtonian substance we all know and love is Silly-Putty@. Where that will lead with this group I take no responsibility for.

    • Michael Birks
      May 17, 2012, 8:01 am | # | Reply

      Whup. You called that one before me, _and_ with better spelling. Execellent.

  14. megaera
    May 17, 2012, 2:31 am | # | Reply

    I don’t care…I just WANT. THAT. BRA. Although, reality forces me to point out that one of the things large-breasted women don’t like about sports bras is that when the boobs are forced together like that with nothing in-between them, it creates icky sweating and chafing. I have stuffed hankies and even the occasional kleenex down bras like that to keep it from getting too bad while exercising.

    • bmonk
      May 17, 2012, 10:09 am | # | Reply

      Just be sure to take the Kleenex out of the box first, huh?

      • megaera
        May 18, 2012, 2:51 am | #

        Trust me, the last thing I want to do is *add* volume. Cute cartoon though.

    • FairyGothMama
      May 17, 2012, 3:11 pm | # | Reply

      I’m with you. Insert bra envy here.

  15. chinotenshi
    May 17, 2012, 2:35 am | # | Reply

    Holy crap. I could use one of those for when I jog.

  16. Yarner
    May 17, 2012, 2:44 am | # | Reply

    Also, I must point out the emerging situational imagery of “Holy Buckets”.
    They’re a thing to worship, that’s for sure.

    • zacharaiaha
      May 17, 2012, 2:58 am | # | Reply

      Another non-newtoinian substance is flubber. Does that mean once she starts bouncing she won’t stop? Thee’s an image for you.

  17. Ladyfox7oaks
    May 17, 2012, 2:46 am | # | Reply

    I want to know where she got that much Golden Orb Weaver Silk!!!

    • Fairportfan
      May 17, 2012, 2:53 am | # | Reply

      Katharine has this little farm; it’s how she makes some extra money.

      • xavienne66
        May 17, 2012, 3:21 am | #

        *applauds*

    • Bob!
      May 17, 2012, 2:53 am | # | Reply

      She knows a guy ,who knows a guy, who knows Tobey McGuire

    • illiad
      May 17, 2012, 2:55 am | # | Reply

      not *that* difficult… 🙂
      http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2090608/Reviving-lost-tradition-Cape-silk-million-spiders-unveiled-new-exhibition.html

      • NOTDilbert
        May 17, 2012, 3:07 am | #

        Now THAT’S impressive. The man-hours involved must be staggering.

      • ohnhai
        May 17, 2012, 4:27 am | #

        dyam! thems are some scary spiders.. and Ive shared house space with white-tails and red-backs!!

      • Julie
        May 17, 2012, 8:48 am | #

        Spiders really ook me out (couldn’t look long at the picture of the arachnids themselves), but that cape is amazing!

        So does that mean that not all spider-strands are sticky? I’ve walked into my fair share of webs, and I wouldn’t want anything feeling like that touching my body.

      • Danzier
        May 17, 2012, 6:36 pm | #

        Spiders in general produce two types of silk. The first is thin, sticky, and makes the spirals of common webs. The second is thicker, not sticky, and is used as the support infrastructure of the web. The spider first weaves a pattern with large holes using the thicker silk, then fills in the holes with the sticky silk while walking on the thicker silk.

        …When I was five I asked my mom why spiders didn’t get caught in their own webs. She’s a naturalist/scientist…

      • Ladyfox7oaks
        May 18, 2012, 2:13 am | #

        Yeah, you only need a million female spiders and four YEARS to manage that… (O_O)

      • Rowan Hawthorn
        May 18, 2012, 7:37 am | #

        I have one rule: If it’s got more than four legs, kill it!

        …a lot…

      • Julie
        May 18, 2012, 8:43 am | #

        While I’m not as bothered by some of the six-legged critters (crickets, lady bugs, and rolly-poly bugs are okay by me) I generally agree with your rule. 🙂

    • War
      May 17, 2012, 4:43 am | # | Reply

      In Florida, we call those things Banana Spiders.

      Years latter I find out they are Golden Orb Weavers and are while creepy as hell, harmless unlike the actual Banana Spider that is dangerous.

      So…no more killing the Golden Orb Weavers for me.

      • Nebulous
        May 17, 2012, 7:53 am | #

        I have nothing against spiders in their place,
        But when one of those things weaves its 6foot web across the garden path, hanging at eye level…
        It’s going down.

      • fallconskat
        May 17, 2012, 12:20 pm | #

        spiders have their place, and that place is NOT in my house or in my walkways. the Warning has been given, that any spider found in my house or with web blocking my walkway? has a death wish. period.

        and my son is the contract killer, because even the wee little bitty ones get me to hyperventilating. the fear of the 8 legged assasins is that bad.

      • Julie
        May 18, 2012, 8:53 am | #

        We should start a support group…I have the same reaction. I even dropped the F-bomb in the middle of a work meeting because I though a spider had fallen onto my chest (turned out it was a cricket). *shakes head* Stupid phobias…

    • Bucc-i
      May 17, 2012, 4:47 am | # | Reply

      Spinnerette?

      http://www.krakowstudios.com/spinnerette/

  18. xavienne66
    May 17, 2012, 3:21 am | # | Reply

    Armoured boobs! Woohoo!

  19. Iannica
    May 17, 2012, 3:53 am | # | Reply

    *sigh*
    I’m in desperate need of such a bra…
    Altough not as small as Monica, I’m kinda build like that…
    But, oh! The money…

  20. Mikey
    May 17, 2012, 3:58 am | # | Reply

    Just had a horrible thought… Now that shes running and her breasts won’t move, people are gonna assume they’re cheap fake :-/ Man that sucks

    • Rex Hondo
      May 17, 2012, 4:39 am | # | Reply

      If it’s truly a non-newtonian fabric, then a relatively slow motion like a running jiggle would cause it to act like regular fabric, while a sharp jolt like falling on the floor would cause it to act much more solid, as is demonstrated in the final panel.

    • War
      May 17, 2012, 4:52 am | # | Reply

      People already assume that when they see her. At least now she has support and comfort in stylishly awesome prettiness.

      • Maark30
        May 18, 2012, 1:12 am | #

        And considering all she has is contempt for the people that ask her if her breasts are fake, I would say that she does not care what people think about them.

  21. ohnhai
    May 17, 2012, 4:33 am | # | Reply

    non- newtonian
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KfKqCHcSaCY

    O-o
    O

    and in practical application….

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4uUhWtYDPk&feature=player_embedded WOW

  22. Les
    May 17, 2012, 4:55 am | # | Reply

    all i know, is i want one!

    • Justa Wud Turner
      May 18, 2012, 4:49 am | # | Reply

      Les-
      …and poke someone’s eye out?

      • bmonk
        May 18, 2012, 2:23 pm | #

        But it looks like she could run with scissors, as long as they were held a few inches above the waist.

  23. kingklash
    May 17, 2012, 4:56 am | # | Reply

    So, I take it that Vibranium isn’t available in this universe?

  24. Justa Wud Turner
    May 17, 2012, 4:57 am | # | Reply

    Oh that’s just great, a bra that ‘supports’ my theory that Monica couldn’t fall on her face if she tried… this sort of thing just ruins a reconstruction surgeon’s day, no more busted schnauzes to repair.

  25. ohnhai
    May 17, 2012, 5:28 am | # | Reply

    I love the idea of a non-newtonian fabric.

    don’t make the mistake of thinking this bra is hard like stormtrooper armour or a brass bosom bracer.

    It’s soft and flexible at least as soft and flexible as a normal moderately reinforced bra. Meaning you can still poke and fondle and everything will act as normal.

    However… add some moderate to serious loading, like all that mass trying to keep up with the oscillations of a jogging body and the fabric acts in a non-newtonian way and actively resists the motion.

    The larger, and more sudden the loading the stronger the effect. Thus the ninja instigated face plant massively loads the fabric in an instant and it acts as if solid, yet as she gets up the mild occupations would allow everything to still move , naturally 🙂

    awesome.. screw spandex Paul has invented the super hero costume fabric for the next millennium !!

    • ohnhai
      May 17, 2012, 5:39 am | # | Reply

      she definitely needs a good long coat made of this stuff for adventuring

    • ohnhai
      May 17, 2012, 5:40 am | # | Reply

      just remember she put the bra on and it obviously didn’t feel solid to her else she would have mentioned it

    • TlalocW
      May 17, 2012, 9:23 am | # | Reply

      So the idea of the bra comes from something like cornstarch?

      If you’ve never done this, empty a box of cornstarch into a bowl and add water to it slowly until it can’t absorb any more. Treat it gently, and it’s goo. Any violent reaction, and it hardens up. So you can slowly swirl it, making it look liquid then toss it at someone, and it stays in the bowl. Let your fingers slowly sink into it then try to pull them out quickly, and you’re stuck. Shape it into a ball and toss it to someone, where it will begin to melt. Even punch it hard enough to make cracks.

      • bmonk
        May 17, 2012, 10:17 am | #

        Cornstarch suspension, ketchup, whipped cream, quicksand and toothpaste are all non-Newtonian fluids that come to mind. Even liquid crystals. What’s harder to find is a non-Newtonian solid.

        A superfluid, like some liquid helium-4, is even weirder, but I think it’s still Newtonian. Only with zero viscosity.

      • NOTDilbert
        May 17, 2012, 8:56 pm | #

        Tomato soup is also non-newtonian…

      • My2Cents
        May 18, 2012, 3:56 am | #

        Everybody seems to be missing the best popular non-newtonian fluid — Jello

      • bmonk
        May 18, 2012, 2:24 pm | #

        Hey! I never even hinted at promising an exhaustive list. I just grabbed at some that “came to mind”!

  26. Stigmartyr762
    May 17, 2012, 5:28 am | # | Reply

    Though Lydia’s appearance hasn’t changed. She’s definitely become more severe looking. http://wapsisquare.com/comic/07292004/

    • Kukki
      May 17, 2012, 6:23 am | # | Reply

      She’s a little tired from staying up all night planning and making this bra. 😉

    • W.
      May 17, 2012, 7:59 am | # | Reply

      Stress will do that to you. Challenge accepted. Challenge met, but I imagine having to go back to her mentor and asking for help and/or advice was not a happy thing for her to do.

    • Julie
      May 17, 2012, 9:08 am | # | Reply

      Well, the art style has changed a bit since then…and as W pointed out, stress can alter appearance too. 🙂

    • davids4250
      May 18, 2012, 5:02 am | # | Reply

      And, like Monica, her boobs seem to have expanded.

  27. IS_Wolf
    May 17, 2012, 6:01 am | # | Reply

    Kinda interesting to note that Monica didn’t instinctively point herself to safety there.

    Also has to be noted that it’s indeed a good thing, that Tina is her companion this time and not Shelly, because if said Kunoichi had tried that with the latter….

    Thinly sliced Kunoichi anyone?

    • Julie
      May 17, 2012, 9:04 am | # | Reply

      Meh…short distance fall…not life-threatening, so no instinctive-poiting needed. 🙂

      • IS_Wolf
        May 18, 2012, 12:56 am | #

        Maybe not life threatening, but any fall can cause some physical damage, dependent upon the landing, whether it be breaking or dislocating something.

        Plus instinctive reactions just kick in, irrespective of the actual severity of the situation. See Shelly and Justin at the Gym. Him swatting her on the backside is pretty harmless, her response was instinctive nonetheless.

    • Dave
      May 17, 2012, 10:36 am | # | Reply

      I imagine there’s a mention of that on the package.

      Not tested on sphinxes. No ninjas were disemboweled during demonstration of this product. Special de-livery not required.

      • Opus the Poet
        May 17, 2012, 4:33 pm | #

        You! Pun jar, now…

      • Dave
        May 17, 2012, 5:11 pm | #

        I guess you’re saying I’ve got some ‘spleenin to do? I suppose so… I don’t know for sure whether the ninjas would be more at risk of losing their livery, or their livers, to a startled sphinx.

        (*clink*)

      • bmonk
        May 17, 2012, 5:17 pm | #

        At least your heart is in the right place. At the moment.

      • Dave
        May 17, 2012, 6:20 pm | #

        #chortle#

  28. egwenna
    May 17, 2012, 6:32 am | # | Reply

    I want one! ..of course, every time she appears I walk away with a renewed belief that every woman needs Lydia. Now Monica is truly ready to take on the world. Hopefully Tina isn’t too traumatized by the event.

    • Ekio
      May 17, 2012, 8:23 am | # | Reply

      Agreed! on both accounts actually. I would adore that could hold a J comfortably and sportively.

    • Julie
      May 17, 2012, 9:06 am | # | Reply

      I would pay whatever it took to have a Lydia of my own. I have a specialty store not too far from where I live, but they haven’t offered to custom-build me anything when I’ve complained that I couldn’t find exactly what I was looking for. (Although they do tailor existing bras to fit better for no extra charge…which is almost as nice.)

  29. The Old Wolf
    May 17, 2012, 7:37 am | # | Reply

    So under stress it stiffens up. But now it should gradually release its stiffness, allowing Monica to settle gently to the ground. Yes, I would enjoy watching that. 9_9

  30. Amber Thompson
    May 17, 2012, 7:42 am | # | Reply

    Another, masterpiece.

  31. Hugh B Hayve
    May 17, 2012, 7:46 am | # | Reply

    Eat your heart out, Madonna!

  32. TheDoctor
    May 17, 2012, 7:46 am | # | Reply

    Don’t know about you but I see Lydia, however I am hearing the voice of Natasha Fatale. 🙂

    • kingklash
      May 17, 2012, 9:00 am | # | Reply

      All we need is Moose and Squirrel.

      • Dave
        May 18, 2012, 10:34 am | #

        Rocky and Bullwinkle aren’t in Minneapolis, or anywhere near it. They moved to Hollywood years ago.

        After retiring from show business, they got involved in drug-and-alcohol rehabilitation. They get a lot of their clients from families in the TV and movie business… the children of rich “star” families seem to be particularly prone to substance abuse problems… lots of money, glamorous lifestyles, often-absent parents.

        Rocky runs the business side of things, while Bullwinkle serves as the chief counselor, instructor, advisor, and lifestyle designer. It seems that his goofy but sympathetic nature goes over well with troubled kids and he has a very high success rate.

        As a result, there are a lot of Hollywood stars who are quite willing to use Moose on their heirs.

        (rips a couple of gold stars out of the pavement in front of Grauman’s Chinese Theatre and tosses them into the Pun Vault)

  33. Hornet
    May 17, 2012, 8:05 am | # | Reply

    That’s gotta hurt her ribs. Question is would it be resistant to cutting/piercing attacks???

  34. harukohoshiko
    May 17, 2012, 8:09 am | # | Reply

    OMG no one has said this yet? She can do push-ups with her boobs! O.O That is an amazing bra!

  35. Aaron
    May 17, 2012, 8:45 am | # | Reply

    Dow Corning actually makes a fabric like this:
    http://www.dowcorning.com/content/deflexion/

  36. Alex
    May 17, 2012, 8:55 am | # | Reply

    If you didn’t laugh at the last panel you ought to check your pulse.

  37. TlalocW
    May 17, 2012, 9:24 am | # | Reply

    Is the ninja throwing Monica or tripping her?

    • Kessog
      May 17, 2012, 7:46 pm | # | Reply

      I’m think a front to rear leg sweep. Either way that should hurt landing from that high.

  38. Quats
    May 17, 2012, 9:33 am | # | Reply

    Soooo envious. I want one like that.

    The bra, not Monica. Just realized my username wasn’t the most gender-revealing.

    • Maark30
      May 17, 2012, 1:21 pm | # | Reply

      It is not like any of us regulars are judgmental in any way. ;-p

  39. PrettyPrincess
    May 17, 2012, 10:23 am | # | Reply

    Oh I would so want to try out a bra like this – except I would want mine to actually separate my boobs – like the one they ninja’ed onto Tina, but in this non-Newtonian fabric…
    Actually, what I really want is a bra that will keep my boobs from sliding out of it when I’m going through yoga sun salutations. In a vertical pose, my sports bra is fine, but in downward dog I can literally suffocate on the cleavage that falls onto my neck and face.

    • Maark30
      May 17, 2012, 1:20 pm | # | Reply

      Well in that case you want Non-Newtonian technology. It means that the bra uses Inertial Dampeners to stop all kinetic effect including movement in any direction.

  40. Maji
    May 17, 2012, 11:06 am | # | Reply

    Does anyone remember where Lydia made her first appearance?

    • TlalocW
      May 17, 2012, 11:39 am | # | Reply

      The Wapsi Square webcomic.

      ZING!

      Unless I’m wrong, this was the start of the storyline more or less.
      http://wapsisquare.com/comic/07222004/

  41. Stormneedle
    May 17, 2012, 12:20 pm | # | Reply

    Non-Newtonian? It must have been made by hand, because a sewing machine would run too fast. “The shield turns the fast blow, admits the slow kindjal!”

  42. Dave
    May 17, 2012, 3:24 pm | # | Reply

    Oh… I’m surprised nobody has mentioned it yet…

    Paul deserves at least a +1 and perhaps a +2 for sneaking in that Frig Newtonians pun.

    I don’t think Paul has to contribute to the Pun Jar… he’s the host here, after all… but I’ll drop in a really beautiful Herennia multipuncta in his honor.

  43. Rz21
    May 17, 2012, 4:41 pm | # | Reply

    Holy bulletproof breasts batman!

    • Jerry Lewis
      May 17, 2012, 5:22 pm | # | Reply

      Those could come in handy, considering some of the shenanigans she’s been up to in the past.

      • zacharaiaha
        May 17, 2012, 10:58 pm | #

        You forget Monica IS bulletproof. She poits the bullets away just before they make contact with the skin.

  44. Cherish Bloom
    May 17, 2012, 6:55 pm | # | Reply

    look at the first panel of today’s ChimneySpeak.

    Now, that has got to hurt!!

  45. Bubbles
    May 17, 2012, 7:34 pm | # | Reply

    Ok so…. where can I buy one of those? For the same reasons as Monica actually. These things keep me from being healthy even though I’m fairly thin. Jogging hurts. >_<

    • waldosan
      May 17, 2012, 11:19 pm | # | Reply

      you should lift weights or do cardio, keeping fit isn’t just running just as much as driving isn’t just turning the steering wheel. i find that a 3 pound barbell and a very relaxing article about wormholes will keep my blood pumping.

      but i know how Monica feels, i spend most of my time in front of a computer and my weight hasn’t budged from 150 for the past 7 years.

    • Orsi
      May 18, 2012, 12:57 pm | # | Reply

      Swimming doesn’t hurt.

  46. stjen
    May 17, 2012, 11:46 pm | # | Reply

    Well — there it is — Monica’s soft spongy belly that she hasn’t seen since 4th grade. (It’s cute.)

  47. Sgt. Howard
    May 18, 2012, 12:13 am | # | Reply

    Cadillac bumper bullets without the chrome

    • Atomic
      May 18, 2012, 1:12 am | # | Reply

      The Shiny Red version for ya!

      • Danzier
        May 18, 2012, 8:16 am | #

        / drool…

        In plain English: What a lovely car! And a lovely yard as well.

  48. RSinAustin
    May 18, 2012, 12:55 am | # | Reply

    Sexy lingerie ninja is sexy

  49. NOTDilbert
    May 18, 2012, 2:13 am | # | Reply

    Is….Lydia related to Becky the Carnivore over at Girls with Slingshots? All she needs are freckles and glasses…..

  50. Fairportfan
    May 18, 2012, 2:31 am | # | Reply

    0331 EDT

    * cricket * cricket *

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