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"What Is It"
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What Is It

by Paul Taylor on July 20, 2011 at 12:00 am
Story: Wapsi-Archive
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Discussion (120) ¬

  1. Tristan
    July 20, 2011, 12:04 am | # | Reply

    Should May really be allowed to operate Heavy Machinery?

    • Yamara
      July 20, 2011, 12:57 am | # | Reply

      Better trust that to Shelly.

      Hey Shelly. Can I ask a favor of you?

      • Wyvern
        July 20, 2011, 3:31 pm | #

        Sure. Just let me get this engine out of the wall first.

      • Ratcatcher
        July 25, 2011, 3:25 am | #

        DAD! Yeah I think that head is cracked, let me pull it out and look.

  2. Francisco
    July 20, 2011, 12:05 am | # | Reply

    Is May high? I’m starting to think that, following her relief from being out of the demon realm, she’s so glad to be away her mind’s shut down.

    • Kittiana
      July 20, 2011, 1:59 am | # | Reply

      Maybe Jin’s slight case of crazies was originally passed down in the family genes from her moms side and her experience just expounded it and blew it WAAAAAAAAAAY!! out of proportion!? Or I’m crazy too and need to shut up!

  3. txmystic
    July 20, 2011, 12:06 am | # | Reply

    I think she’s growing some kind of mushroom…

    • Joe Minotaur
      July 20, 2011, 5:00 pm | # | Reply

      Happy 42nd Birthday(yesterday) txmystic!

      • txmystic
        July 20, 2011, 10:38 pm | #

        Thx Joe!

        Don’t get too close to the Minotaur, now…

      • Julie
        July 21, 2011, 8:16 am | #

        It was your birthday?? Happy belated birthday then from a fellow Texan! 🙂

  4. Joe Minotaur
    July 20, 2011, 12:07 am | # | Reply

    “Alternator”, “Battery”?
    All they need now is an engine with an accesory belt and pulley.

    • Radio365
      July 20, 2011, 12:13 am | # | Reply

      alternator, battery, and a recently wisened mechanic of great strength.

      They don’t need roads where thery’re going.

      • jwhouk
        July 20, 2011, 7:52 am | #

        So where do they find the Delorean?

      • TheDoctor
        July 20, 2011, 8:51 am | #

        If not a DeLorean, would an old Phonebox do?

    • Dusty668
      July 20, 2011, 4:48 am | # | Reply

      Soooo Gin’s Mom is related to Tim “The Tool Man” Taylor? “I know what will help! MOAR POWER Wuh-huh-huh-huh!

    • Prof B Hunnydew
      July 20, 2011, 11:58 am | # | Reply

      So The galaxy Alternator will/can be charge the cosmic battery?
      Somehow giving more power to an unbalanced Jin, may not be a good idea.

      PBH

    • StJason
      July 20, 2011, 4:52 pm | # | Reply

      Wait… Where does one ‘recover’ a galaxy alternator from?!? It’s not like it’s something you can pull from the scrapyard.

      By the way, what does a galaxy alternator alternate between?

      • Fairportfan
        July 20, 2011, 7:55 pm | #

        The large and Small Magellanic clouds, of course.

  5. donoho
    July 20, 2011, 12:08 am | # | Reply

    Maybe Jin’s instability isn’t completely based on her horrific experiences.

    • Paula
      July 20, 2011, 12:19 am | # | Reply

      Nah
      May made the calender to stop Jin going loopy.

    • Simon
      July 20, 2011, 6:14 am | # | Reply

      It’s starting to look hereditary, isn’t it?

    • Patricia
      July 20, 2011, 6:30 am | # | Reply

      To quote “Arsenic & Old Lace:” Insanity doesn’t run in their family. It practically gallops.

    • Amethyst Shadow
      July 20, 2011, 11:12 am | # | Reply

      you spend untold amount of time stuck in the demon world and lets see how many of your marbles are still in your possession and in good enough condition to play with.

    • Yamara
      July 20, 2011, 1:35 pm | # | Reply

      The Golems were created by man.

      They rebelled.

      They evolved.

      They look and feel human.

      Some are programmed to think they are human.

      They are therefore completely clueless about everything.

      • Alechsa
        July 20, 2011, 10:13 pm | #

        Win.

  6. txmystic
    July 20, 2011, 12:09 am | # | Reply

    So is May going to hold up half a dead crow and say it is the galaxy alternator?

    heh heh

    All joking aside (or above), May spent an awfully long time in the demon realm, where musch as Shelly found out time works differently. It could be that she went a bit loopy herself…

    • Paula
      July 20, 2011, 12:23 am | # | Reply

      Isn’t it a piece of cake?
      I’m sure cake has something to do in regards to the galaxy in ‘hitch hikers’ but cannot recall what.

      • Casey
        July 20, 2011, 12:31 am | #

        If I remember correctly, the piece of cake was part of the Total Perspective Vortex, and was used to extrapolate the entire universe.

      • illiad
        July 20, 2011, 4:46 pm | #

        not quite.. 🙂
        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Technology_in_The_Hitchhiker's_Guide_to_the_Galaxy#Total_Perspective_Vortex

        not reality, just a representation.. do note the full *original* radio series on CD is far better than lesser works… 🙂

      • NOTDilbert
        July 20, 2011, 12:56 am | #

        The cake is a lie. Trust only Pie!

      • Joe Minotaur
        July 20, 2011, 1:42 am | #

        http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autowb845.html

      • Kramegame
        July 20, 2011, 11:36 am | #

        So this lead to an all night comic binge…. I have just one thing to say…

        THANK YOU!

      • Joe Minotaur
        July 20, 2011, 5:02 pm | #

        You are welcome.
        The Whiteboard online comic was mentioned here a while back. It updates three times a week.

      • The Old Wolf
        July 20, 2011, 3:13 am | #

        Pi is heresy. Trust only tau! 😛

      • bmonk
        July 20, 2011, 10:25 am | #

        I think it’s time to throw in the tau-el.

      • kingklash
        July 20, 2011, 11:07 am | #

        There is no tau.
        There is no cake.
        There is only Zuul!

      • txmystic
        July 20, 2011, 11:10 am | #

        ^^ grrrrrrrrr

        hbar was always more useful than Planck’s constant, and required Tau, not Pi…

        BTW I turned 42 yesterday, so now I get to be the answer to everything in the universe for the next year. That means nobody gets to question my theories, no matter how wacky…

      • Jabberwonky
        July 20, 2011, 12:44 pm | #

        Only if your name was along the lines of ‘Frankie Mouse’ or ‘Benji Mouse’. txmystic is far to frivolous a name for a vast pan-dimensional being…

      • illiad
        July 20, 2011, 5:11 pm | #

        txmystic: but do they ask what the question is??

  7. Sonicthunder
    July 20, 2011, 12:10 am | # | Reply

    Wow.

    Panel 5 is, by far, the creepiest thing Paul’s ever drawn.

    Ever.

    • Paula
      July 20, 2011, 12:24 am | # | Reply

      He has drawn creepier but with the story line that makes panel 5 about 500times creepier than it is 😀

      • Yamara
        July 20, 2011, 1:08 am | #

        Allow me to repeat a question of mine from an earlier thread in a different tone of voice.

        Whaaaat is May doing right now ? ? !

  8. Dingo
    July 20, 2011, 12:17 am | # | Reply

    May is playing Bud for reaction. That’s my call.
    I give myself a 35% chance of being right. 🙂

    • FatUncle
      July 20, 2011, 5:20 am | # | Reply

      I will settle for 2% to 5% right.

    • Kramegame
      July 20, 2011, 11:43 am | # | Reply

      overly optimistic, are we? you may want to run the numbers again… i think you forgot a zero when dividing…

      • bmonk
        July 20, 2011, 2:41 pm | #

        be careful about diving by zero…

      • Sheik
        July 20, 2011, 3:34 pm | #

        A singularity that manifests itself along only one axis.
        *This* is Mad Science!

      • NOTDilbert
        July 21, 2011, 1:36 am | #

        That is a Galactic Superstring (not to be confused with a dimensional theory).

      • bmonk
        July 21, 2011, 11:21 am | #

        Well, obviously, it was only an imaginary zero.

    • Ratcatcher
      July 25, 2011, 3:38 am | # | Reply

      Sitting quietly on the couch in the corner, my friend Dingo. And wondering if it’s too late to run away.

  9. Kyle_Stelios
    July 20, 2011, 12:18 am | # | Reply

    I see where jin gets it now! 😛

  10. Paula
    July 20, 2011, 12:22 am | # | Reply

    Hmm

    Maybe the cross helps May who in turn will be able to help Jin.

    Either way this is something I never considered until today 🙂
    Kudos Paul, you always manage to surprise me 😀

    • txmystic
      July 20, 2011, 11:12 am | # | Reply

      Following your line of thought, May said she recovered a galaxy alternator, but never said she had a power source for it…

  11. Ari
    July 20, 2011, 12:23 am | # | Reply

    Temper tantrum. Hehe.

  12. msyendor
    July 20, 2011, 12:28 am | # | Reply

    Reality check needed here. Which galaxy are we in again? And will someone be pulling out a bag of marbles?

    • Simon
      July 20, 2011, 6:12 am | # | Reply

      Marbles? There are certainly a few characters missing them…

    • Kramegame
      July 20, 2011, 11:50 am | # | Reply

      funny thing about head marbles… they’re a distinct grayish color and each one reacts differently depending on the location its in…had one in my pocket when I went up to Maine….let’s just say it dampened the experience…

  13. Casey
    July 20, 2011, 12:35 am | # | Reply

    Now that I think about it, how are we sure that May was entirely there to begin with? We haven’t seen much of pre-demon realm May, and when we did see her she was deliberately putting on some sort of act. On top of that, many of her ideas and inventions are rather mad scientisty, and she has never been known for thinking things through. Maybe she was always the kooky, absentminded mad scientist and we’re just noticing now.

    • Ari
      July 20, 2011, 7:04 am | # | Reply

      Yeah….not really sure why she thought her inventions were good ideas to begin with.

    • txmystic
      July 20, 2011, 11:13 am | # | Reply

      well, given that her previous invention cause time to loop at a ~1400-year period 56 times, I’d say so…

      • Jabberwonky
        July 20, 2011, 12:47 pm | #

        Now, that invention was messed with by the group that wanted to change Lanthis from a matriarchy to a patriarchy. They were trying to weaponize it at one point.

      • txmystic
        July 20, 2011, 10:39 pm | #

        As will a galactic alternator, methinks…

  14. ShadOBabe
    July 20, 2011, 12:37 am | # | Reply

    LOL!! Yes, the fury of the Bud!!

    Heh, wow… May is a tad out of it, isn’t she?

    • Yamara
      July 20, 2011, 1:03 am | # | Reply

      Bud probably should have spent more time conversing with her while squishing the Calendar and running away from demons.

    • HarukoHoshiko
      July 20, 2011, 1:30 am | # | Reply

      You know people keep saying May is out if it. No one has come up with “maybe everone else (Bud, Mon ect.) is wrong”?

      • Eee
        July 20, 2011, 9:38 am | #

        That would be my take on this, as well. All along they’ve been assuming this was another Maya invention. But Maya was not the ONLY scientist the Lathians had, and it’s entirely possible someone else could work miracles too. Heck, this might even be a Jin creation that she made anew each cycle. Under these circumstances, it’s Bud who’s being the ditz: Maya is working along trying to find something to help her daughter and thinks she’s got something, suddenly Bud shows up and thrusts this shiny thing at her that she has no idea what is for and expects her to be able to tell all about ti, and then Bud goes into a snit because she doesn’t know what it is. There needs to be a group rethink and re-discussion on this, this time including Jin and Maya, so they can be sure they’re not working under false assumptions.

      • eschmenk
        July 20, 2011, 3:53 pm | #

        That was my gut reaction, too.

        For that matter, Maya, Bud and everyone else could be wrong.

  15. Fairportfan
    July 20, 2011, 12:39 am | # | Reply

    Too bad that the thing your aunt gave you that you don’t know what it is doesn’t have its chain anymore…

    May certainly seems to enjoy yanking them.

  16. NOTDilbert
    July 20, 2011, 12:55 am | # | Reply

    I don’t know if that can help or not. What year did Ford stop making Galaxies?

    • NOTDilbert
      July 20, 2011, 1:03 am | # | Reply

      And another thing – she recovered a Galaxy Alternator? Was it originally upholstered? Where did she get the fabric swatches?

      Hey, look, the Pun Jar now has an ATM attatched, how convenient – *beep*

      • Kramegame
        July 20, 2011, 2:53 am | #

        Yes the Pun Jar Assoc. Bank Inc. Company is doing quite well after the hostile take over of Swear Jar’s Conglomerate…Apparently, we now own Orbit Gum, and the word Sh**

      • Ratcatcher
        July 25, 2011, 3:44 am | #

        Kramegame- They only rent that word, Governments own the mass production rights. Why they have major factories in London and Washington.

    • Wyvern
      July 20, 2011, 3:41 pm | # | Reply

      1974. When I was a kid my family had one, a classic Land Barge…

      • Xiutecuhtli
        July 20, 2011, 6:39 pm | #

        Jeez . . . and I used to own a ’73, colloquially known as the Battlewagon for its handling–she took forever to answer the helmwheel, and you couldn’t turn her in less than half a city block.

      • bmonk
        July 21, 2011, 11:25 am | #

        We inherited a ’70s Olds from my grandpa. “The Tank”–not quite so unhandy, but close enough.

        It lasted until it met a Mercedes-Benz that drifted over the center line into its lane. The Mercedes was a mid-80s model, much more lightly built. As my Dad said, “That the way the Mercedes bends!”

  17. Locuranis
    July 20, 2011, 1:11 am | # | Reply

    To quote/paraphrase a famous artform…

    “I like her… she’s silly!”

  18. SoWhyMe
    July 20, 2011, 1:39 am | # | Reply

    “Now dear, you can’t expect me to remember every little thing I invented.”
    “But … this was really important!”
    “So was my automated apple peeler. Just because it made the last 10 seconds of time repeat every time you used it doesn’t mean it wasn’t any good. It did blow up eventually … sigh.”
    “You dipstick! Does everything you invent shift time!?”
    “No dear, the plutonium powered bidet didn’t have any time related problems. Lots of people had one. It worked great … for a while. I don’t like to think about that incident though. Let’s have a drinkiepoo!”

    • Kramegame
      July 20, 2011, 2:56 am | # | Reply

      Win. You just won the internet. at least this section of it…

    • The Old Wolf
      July 20, 2011, 3:16 am | # | Reply

      Bud: “Bidet?!?”
      Mayahuel: “We do not speak of that time.”

      • SoWhyMe
        July 20, 2011, 3:49 am | #

        “WTF? You made bidets that blew up? Are you TOTALLY crazy!?”
        “Oh no. No, my little berry, I would never make a bidet that might explode.”
        “What then?”
        Well … let us just say some of the resulting mutations are still around to this day. Ever see a sphinx?”

      • Kramegame
        July 20, 2011, 4:04 am | #

        I hate commenting this way but really its all I can think of…
        LMAO!

      • FatUncle
        July 20, 2011, 5:24 am | #

        Two thumbs and two big toes up!

      • 5hademaker
        July 20, 2011, 7:39 am | #

        Lovely!

      • txmystic
        July 20, 2011, 11:17 am | #

        I’m sure they all turned out OK in the end…

      • Ratcatcher
        July 25, 2011, 3:47 am | #

        SoWhyMe- SNERK! God I’m glad I learned not to drink anything when reading these comments.

    • bmonk
      July 20, 2011, 10:31 am | # | Reply

      Speaking of things that explode. . . .

      • The Old Wolf
        July 20, 2011, 12:26 pm | #

        Anything bitten by a platypus with teeth tends to do that…

  19. FatUncle
    July 20, 2011, 2:44 am | # | Reply

    Annnnnnnd … the little prong thingies are back. Still no chain, though.

    So let’s see. Shelly went through 80,000 years and 56 deaths to secure this object, and … we don’t know what it is? Mayahuel doesn’t know what it is? Shelly isn’t to be too happy to hear this.

    I’m beginning to think Stinky and Mayahuel have a lot in common. They both like to play with things which have a tendency to blow up in someone else’s face.

    • Ari
      July 20, 2011, 7:07 am | # | Reply

      Well CLEARLY they…um…removed the chain because…it..was…erm…cumbersome.

      Look, just don’t question. Enjoy. 🙂

    • bmonk
      July 20, 2011, 10:32 am | # | Reply

      BTW, see my immediately prior comment.

    • txmystic
      July 20, 2011, 11:18 am | # | Reply

      Not only that, but it seems to have a wonky chain that keeps disappearing…

      • bmonk
        July 20, 2011, 2:38 pm | #

        Maybe the chain is just pining for its lost forest-home of 80 millennia.

    • Wyvern
      July 20, 2011, 3:51 pm | # | Reply

      Nobody’s suggested the obvious explanation: the dingus just contains the plutonium; it’s the chain that does something interesting.

      • FatUncle
        July 20, 2011, 7:10 pm | #

        Oh, you evil, evil person, you. You just exploded my entire theory of the Wapsiverse.

  20. Kramegame
    July 20, 2011, 3:04 am | # | Reply

    I was almost expecting to see “Woaah” before “What is it?” instad of hmm.
    One thing is for certain, if May isn’t playing dumb right now, she is definitely on something…

  21. Kaibyo
    July 20, 2011, 6:18 am | # | Reply

    After all the time she spent with the demons, May just might be catching up on her liquid refreshment. “In heaven there is no beer…” – maybe it’s the same in the demon zone.
    Or she’s starting to breakdown, somehow? As you age you can get forgetful. What WAS I doing?
    Or is she entirely Mayahuel?
    Poor Bud. Never mind the hay-bale hair. If she gets too aggravated, she might wind up looking like Tepoz!

    • Wyvern
      July 20, 2011, 3:55 pm | # | Reply

      That was my thought. May: “I probably knew what it was a few thousand years ago. It looks familiar.” Bud: “You didn’t make it?” May: “I might have.”

      I’ve done this with code I wrote only five or ten years ago; why not May?

      • Ratcatcher
        July 25, 2011, 3:50 am | #

        Wyvern- I’ve done it on code I had written the day before, of course I was catching the flu.

  22. Fairportfan
    July 20, 2011, 6:35 am | # | Reply

    Humm. I just bethought me – what if the thing your aunt gave you that you don’t know what it is is supposed to plug into the galaxy alternator to make it work?

    • SoWhyMe
      July 20, 2011, 8:37 am | # | Reply

      Makes sense. Sounds like something one might use to jump start a star, or a wormhole.

      • ProphetZarquon
        March 15, 2021, 3:58 pm | #

        Warning: When I played that game it was the thing your grandmother gave you that you don’t know what it is, and, well, let’s just say that juggling the spare infinite improbability drive & the thing turns out to not be such a great idea. How many Mandela effect make a mandala?

        – Sorry I’m a bit late

  23. TheDoctor
    July 20, 2011, 8:58 am | # | Reply

    Could May get Alzheimers? Or has she wasted away in Margaritaville?

  24. AvengerReloaded
    July 20, 2011, 10:07 am | # | Reply

    Saw a bumber sticker that applies.
    “Insanity is herediitary.
    You get it from your children.”

    • bmonk
      July 20, 2011, 10:34 am | # | Reply

      “Having children is hereditary.
      If your parents didn’t have any,
      it’s very likely you won’t either.”

      • Kramegame
        July 20, 2011, 12:23 pm | #

        can i get that on a bumper sticker?

      • bmonk
        July 20, 2011, 2:36 pm | #

        I don’t know–but you really ought to be able to get it.

      • FatUncle
        July 20, 2011, 7:20 pm | #

        Just make your own.
        http://www.cafepress.com/make/custom-stickers

      • Opus the Poet
        July 20, 2011, 11:25 pm | #

        Quote originally attributed to Yogi Berra…

  25. kingklash
    July 20, 2011, 11:12 am | # | Reply

    Galaxy Alternator, eh? She’s either rebuilding an old Ford, or she’s left out a couple of details about what Jin’s troubles really involve.

  26. Yamara
    July 20, 2011, 1:13 pm | # | Reply

    Of course, the golems talking past each other aren’t noticing the heat index reaching 119° in Minneapolis, and would shrug off the 134° at Moorhead yesterday.

    But, let’s make sure about how to fix Jin. These civilizations just come and go.

    http://www.startribune.com/blogs/125847178.html

    • Kramegame
      July 20, 2011, 1:35 pm | # | Reply

      Oh jeez, I hope that isn’t headed for New York… I just got a job as a bus boy in a Hibachi Steakhouse with limited air conditioning…

      • Ratcatcher
        July 25, 2011, 3:55 am | #

        Kramegame- Sympathy much, I worked in a Kitchen that I swear had no AC, back when I was in the higher education debt farm.

    • Wyvern
      July 20, 2011, 3:57 pm | # | Reply

      Come to Portland. Today’s high is 74 – but we’re getting rain tomorrow.

  27. Dafydd
    July 20, 2011, 1:26 pm | # | Reply

    It would be absolutely hilarious — in a horrible, horrible way — if Mayahuel’s implications were correct: that the artifact multiple Shelleys went through such an ordeal over was a red herring and had nothing whatsoever with helping Jin.

    • Paula
      July 20, 2011, 2:19 pm | # | Reply

      Maybe but on the bright side it cleared up a loop hole in the universe.
      That could have ended up being bad for everyone 🙂

  28. Paula
    July 20, 2011, 2:16 pm | # | Reply

    what IS a galaxy alternator btw? 🙂

    • eschmenk
      July 20, 2011, 3:50 pm | # | Reply

      Something that harnesses the rotating power of the galaxy, I suppose. For whatever reason, they thought that would help Jin.

  29. Jay-Em
    July 20, 2011, 5:02 pm | # | Reply

    May “recovered” a galaxy alternator, sooooo, there is no reason to assume she got it running. Next thing she’s gonna say is something in the line of ” I had a look at it, but the problem is, it needs gob-smacking amounts of power….”

    Bud didn’t tell May yet that the oopart may be a battery. It is entirely possible that May designed part of the ooparts innards, but that another mage created the final thingymagoo… Hence May’s “It looks familiar”

  30. Fairportfan
    July 20, 2011, 5:59 pm | # | Reply

    Shiny

  31. Casey
    July 20, 2011, 6:29 pm | # | Reply

    The way I see it, there are several possible reasons for why May doesn’t remember the artifact.
    #1. As many people speculated, May went crazy from her time in the demon realm and forgot.
    #2. May was absentminded to begin with and forgot.
    #3. May forgot for some other reason.
    #4. May didn’t make the artifact.
    #5. May built the artifact, but simply hasn’t done so yet. Due to time-loop weirdness, May built the artifact at some point in the future.

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