hmm, that raises the question of delivery, if she was. would she be able to just poit it out? she doesnt have the fine control needed as of yet, but im sure that with 9 months of practice…
No kidding. And they look like quart buckets. There would be no way to put that much matter in, regardless of metabolism. But hey. It’s just a comic and I should really just relax.
Does no one else think that her ability to ingest large amounts of food might be tied to her connections to the “supernatural”?
It is all science, in the end, even if Monica doesn’t understand it. Things like Poiting must draw their energy from somewhere. She might have some form of transplanar energy cache that she unknowingly maintains via her own will and biology meshing with whatever “spells” are affecting her.
Put more simply, a “second stomache” formed as a sort of dimension pocket.
I agree. If I ate half of one of those babies I’d put on a pound of fat within two days, for sure. But Monica never gains weight, no matter how cartoonishly she eats.
It’s a superpower. Like running in stilettos.
Unfortunately for him, he’s never managed to remove a properly placed bra. Frustrated, he spent his evenings perfecting frozen deserts. Thus, a frozen custard empire was born…
Perhaps something to the effect that he spent years trying to perfect a non-toxic, no drip lubricant to aid in undoing bra strap hooks only to find he had inadvertantly created the best custard ever. We will gloss over the part about why he was tasting his creations in the first place. No one needs, or wants, to know that.
LOL…no…I just say that to people who are more quick witted than I. 🙂 I take weeks or more to come up with hilarity, by which time the moment has generally passed.
As an aside, I’m very rarely sarcastic in type without pointing it out. I have been known to have difficulty figuring out genuine comments from the sarcastic ones, and I wouldn’t make anyone else have to guess.
And you’re right…I’m not so good at shutting up. 😛
That’s not true of the circles here, which I would call “bubbles”. Normally bubbles around a character’s head means that they are drunk or something similar is going on. In this case, Monica is in a drunk-like state (and probably a bit queasy) because of too much frozen custard. If it looks like things are is in orbit around a character’s head, then it’s because they are seeing spots (or something similar) after being hit in the head). Paul does both here.
I agree that cartoons often just showed stars without them orbiting the head, though. To a large extent, you have to figure things out by context.
I believe you hit it when you said “queasy.” That’s a more general term that would cover using bubbles to signify the drunk, as well as, the overstuffed feeling being depicted now. Generally, any feeling of discomfort, disorientatiom, or nausea. Sounds like a Pepto Bismol ad.
He was a “Kentucky Colonel“, which is an honorary title bestowed by the Governor of Kentucky on prominent citizens.
Now, the real fake “colonel” was “Colonel Tom Parker“, Elvis’s manager – and the care quotes indicate that not one word of that three-word name is true.
gah pregnant monica…i have seen a girl with an A cup go up to a C.monica would become nothing but a giant belly and breasts…her super hero name would be “The rack! destroyer of brassiers and scourge of the lingerie department!”
LMAO 🙂 you need to see ‘vicar of dibley’ 🙂 a full size (6 foot by 3 foot ) fridge with nothing but ice cream!!!
then she has a bad love affair, and eats the whole lot! :O
Sorry I live in Asia so having a fridge dedicated to wine, or ice cream isn’t all that common here unless you’re very rich. XD The only time I see huge freezers are those that owned restaurants or small groceries.
I noticed that she didn’t keep her ballet shoes on. I can’t say I blame her. The fact that her bra is missing has me a little concerned for Dietzel, though.
I wonder if she has a collection of bras that have been…shall we say mishandled…as Dietzel tried to remove them from his face or body after she shed them. Or does he, in his super-smart way, understand that Mon’s bras are very pricey, and handle them with care?
If Dietzel were super-smart, he would understand that Monica’s bras are very pricey – and would most carefully utterly destroy the one she draped on his head.
You know, if she got her poit skills up to where the GGG’s are, she could eat all she wanted, enjoy the decadence, and then poit everything out into a cornfield somewhere…
wow, to have a supernatural stomach, eat what I want, get that loverly ‘distended’ feeling, and than just poit it away, before it reaches my thighs!!! 😀
Sorry, doesn’t work that way. It reaches your thighs if you just walk past the buffet and inhale. You don’t have to actually, you know, consume the calories. I can walk into a food court in a mall and crawl out the other side ten pounds heavier, without getting closer than six feet to any calorie. I think it has something to do with original sin. “No, you didn’t actually eat anything, but you thought about it. bloat bloat bloat …
It would be pretty awesome to be a minion or trusted henchman of Dr. Custard. Commit unspeakable acts of evil & vice in exchange for delicious frozen desserts? SOLD.
Ugh. Last time I ate that much ice cream, I felt like
O o
/¯¯/_o___o___o___o____o____o___o
| DOCTOR OCTANOGAPUS! BLAAH!!!
\__\¯¯o¯¯¯o¯¯¯¯¯¯o¯¯¯¯¯¯o¯¯¯¯¯¯o
into the toilet.
On the leftmost side, the “O o” at the top is two eyes. The shape beneath is a wide-open mouth from which the rest of the ASCII art is emerging. I trust you can figure out the rest from context.
Man, has Monica’s cholesterol levels gone down a ton since her health alarm over them, or was that just a riff played for laughs and now we don’t care about it? Because the way she’s been shown eating lately sure doesn’t encourage me to think that health issue would be going away, in fact I’d think it would be getting worse.
What’s it been since we’ve seen the Pizza Girl now, 3 years? 4? We need an update on her as well. I know that pizza delivery is at best a short-term employment option, surely she has gotten another job by now?
Holy crap, Dr. Custard is a real brand! Awesome!
Dr. Custard is more than any mere villain. He is…an ARCH VILLAIN!
Looks like she might need to do a bit of exercise… there’s a bit of a bulge around the middle that wasn’t there earlier.
Well… she did say “The distended mantis”… 🙂
She just ate SIX PINTS of frozen custard… I don’t think I could get through a half… if I were hungry…
Pints? Or Quarts? Those almost look bigger than ordinary pints….
Either way that’s a lot of ice cream, err,,, frozen custard.
I want to know what size container since her tutu fits nicely around the middle of one — just how tiny IS her waist?
Not very tiny at all right now!
Now there’s someone in need of a tummy rub!!
I call first volunteer in line!
O.O…6 large containers of custard…That’s enough to put ANYONE down
Surely, Dr. Custard is a evil genius of the highest caliber! I mean, look at his little beady eyes behind those big glasses! EVIL I SAY!!!
Look out! She’s going to BLOW!?!?
And not in the good way.
…and now we know what a pregnant M might look like…
hmm, that raises the question of delivery, if she was. would she be able to just poit it out? she doesnt have the fine control needed as of yet, but im sure that with 9 months of practice…
/me pinches belly
i couldn’t help it!!!!!
Cripes! Can anyone human put away that much custard? After just a quart or so, I’d be ready to talk to Ralph, Chuck and Huey on the porcelain phone!
No kidding. And they look like quart buckets. There would be no way to put that much matter in, regardless of metabolism. But hey. It’s just a comic and I should really just relax.
You must never have seen ‘Man VS. Food’ 🙂
Does no one else think that her ability to ingest large amounts of food might be tied to her connections to the “supernatural”?
It is all science, in the end, even if Monica doesn’t understand it. Things like Poiting must draw their energy from somewhere. She might have some form of transplanar energy cache that she unknowingly maintains via her own will and biology meshing with whatever “spells” are affecting her.
Put more simply, a “second stomache” formed as a sort of dimension pocket.
~D.
Another idea is that perhaps not all the containers were completely full?
I agree. If I ate half of one of those babies I’d put on a pound of fat within two days, for sure. But Monica never gains weight, no matter how cartoonishly she eats.
It’s a superpower. Like running in stilettos.
or deedling in ballet shoes… 🙂
That’s brilliant – Kinda like a supernatural bulemia, or the old Roman Vomitorium. Eat until you are full, then poit it away so you can eat more.
…dear Spaghetti Monster. I hope that humans never develop this technology…
or being able to do all sorts of things with that bust.
Don’t say bust to Monica right now.
Tell me about it. Either she burps, or she’ll explode.
You know, I’ve never eaten any frozen custard. I’ll think I’ll go buy some, and try it out.
Be darned. Neither of the local groceries at which I shop have frozen custard. I’ll have to go check Wally World tomorrow.
And, of course, our condolences to the workers at the sewage plant later…
Perhaps she could poit it directly to a nuclear waste facility.
HAHA! Awesome.
On the plus side, Dr Custard appears to have the power to remove misplaced bras.
Unfortunately for him, he’s never managed to remove a properly placed bra. Frustrated, he spent his evenings perfecting frozen deserts. Thus, a frozen custard empire was born…
🙂 Epic.
I’m glad someone liked it. 🙂 I wish I could fix up the wording a little, though.
Perhaps something to the effect that he spent years trying to perfect a non-toxic, no drip lubricant to aid in undoing bra strap hooks only to find he had inadvertantly created the best custard ever. We will gloss over the part about why he was tasting his creations in the first place. No one needs, or wants, to know that.
Sounds a bit like the convoluted history of how Thiokol got into the solid rocket business …
Post-It™ notes.
Jane Jacobs’ The Economy Of Cities ISBN 978-0394705842 lists many such. A fascinating read.
Lookit that gut! I can totally relate…iced creams or frozen custards are indeed my downfall!
And the Crimson Mantis becomes the Bloated Buffalo.
LOL!!! Wow…I don’t think I’d have ever come up with a comment that brilliant. I should just give up and be silent from here on out. 🙂
Aww, I’ll bet you say that to all the geniuses.
Wait … Was that sarcasm? Being the innocent young lad I am, it’s sometimes hard for me to tell.
Remain silent? Yeah, like that’s gonna happen. And it would be a shame if it did.
LOL…no…I just say that to people who are more quick witted than I. 🙂 I take weeks or more to come up with hilarity, by which time the moment has generally passed.
As an aside, I’m very rarely sarcastic in type without pointing it out. I have been known to have difficulty figuring out genuine comments from the sarcastic ones, and I wouldn’t make anyone else have to guess.
And you’re right…I’m not so good at shutting up. 😛
She’s cute with a tummy!
I’m surprised she doesn’t have any kind of ice-cream/frozen custard headache…
I thought the circles around her head were meant to imply that she did…
Either that or a sugar coma…
I think the circles are the universally accepted artistic rendering for spot before your eyes.(ref: any of the old Warner Brother cartoons)
That’s not true of the circles here, which I would call “bubbles”. Normally bubbles around a character’s head means that they are drunk or something similar is going on. In this case, Monica is in a drunk-like state (and probably a bit queasy) because of too much frozen custard. If it looks like things are is in orbit around a character’s head, then it’s because they are seeing spots (or something similar) after being hit in the head). Paul does both here.
I agree that cartoons often just showed stars without them orbiting the head, though. To a large extent, you have to figure things out by context.
I believe you hit it when you said “queasy.” That’s a more general term that would cover using bubbles to signify the drunk, as well as, the overstuffed feeling being depicted now. Generally, any feeling of discomfort, disorientatiom, or nausea. Sounds like a Pepto Bismol ad.
ugh. I have a metabolism that makes me feel like I’m constantly starving to death but to pints of custard and id stop dead. Literally
i actually googled the name and came up blank.
is this a proper icecream brand in america like ben & jerrys?
If it’s not found by Google, it doesn’t eist. Even this post will be there shortly.
I suspect it’s a made-up name. Unless, of course, Craig Culver got an honorary doctorate from the University of Wisconsin…
Yes, well these people make things up all the time to sell product. I believe Col. Sanders never was a colonel.
IIRC, that was his nickname, though. I think that back then “Colonel” was a fairly common nickname. In any case, it was my grandfather’s.
I assume that Paul just made up “Dr. Custard” because it fit the joke, but it’s not an atypical for a brand name, either.
Well, yes and no.
He was a “Kentucky Colonel“, which is an honorary title bestowed by the Governor of Kentucky on prominent citizens.
Now, the real fake “colonel” was “Colonel Tom Parker“, Elvis’s manager – and the care quotes indicate that not one word of that three-word name is true.
(I remember things.)
Huh, it turns out there was more to it than that. In the case of my grandfather, it was just a nickname, though.
The sad thing is that I tried to correct myself before anyone else would have a chance to. Before I refreshed, I thought I had succeeded.
How did you manage to do that, with links, even, in the same minute as my original post?
Amateur. The secrets of the Order of the Internet shall never be revealed to the likes of you.
Who’s post arrives first is based on the Latent Uncertainty Coexistant Keyhole principle. Usually expressed by the acronym L.U.C.K. for short.
So, now I have Fatuncle giving me a rough time, too. That is probably due to something with an acronym like “K.A.R.M.A.”, though. 🙂
gah pregnant monica…i have seen a girl with an A cup go up to a C.monica would become nothing but a giant belly and breasts…her super hero name would be “The rack! destroyer of brassiers and scourge of the lingerie department!”
Now all she needs is for Kevin to walk in.
Meanwhile, the Bumbling Bumblebee has order a pizza…
For some reason the tune for “Tumbleing Tumbleweeds.” just wandered through my brain…
Geez, she must have extremely poor metabolism is she got that fat in the space of what must be an hour or desert munching
dis·tend
v. dis·tend·ed, dis·tend·ing, dis·tends
v.intr.
To swell out or expand from or as if from internal pressure.
v.tr.
1. To cause to expand by or as if by internal pressure; dilate.
2. To extend.
~D.
you eat six quarts of ice cream and tell us how your tummy feels after such an event.
What kind of freezer does Monica have to stuff *six* tubs of frozen custard of that size?! O_O
LMAO 🙂 you need to see ‘vicar of dibley’ 🙂 a full size (6 foot by 3 foot ) fridge with nothing but ice cream!!!
then she has a bad love affair, and eats the whole lot! :O
Sorry I live in Asia so having a fridge dedicated to wine, or ice cream isn’t all that common here unless you’re very rich. XD The only time I see huge freezers are those that owned restaurants or small groceries.
She has an extensive wine rack down in her basement; it’d make sense that she’d also have a good sized freezer down there as well.
…filled with custard ice cream and frozen pizzas (which were bought by Doubt, for some reason).
And three skeletons.
They dissolved faster than paper mache!
I’m just amused that one of the custard cartons appears to be wearing her tutu now. 🙂
I noticed that she didn’t keep her ballet shoes on. I can’t say I blame her. The fact that her bra is missing has me a little concerned for Dietzel, though.
Good catch! 🙂 Where did the bra go?
I wonder if she has a collection of bras that have been…shall we say mishandled…as Dietzel tried to remove them from his face or body after she shed them. Or does he, in his super-smart way, understand that Mon’s bras are very pricey, and handle them with care?
If Dietzel were super-smart, he would understand that Monica’s bras are very pricey – and would most carefully utterly destroy the one she draped on his head.
Perhaps she passed the mantle of the Crimson Mantis on to Dietzl, much like this: http://wapsisquare.com/comic/dump-the-tiara/ He probably drew the line at the tutu, however.
You know, if she got her poit skills up to where the GGG’s are, she could eat all she wanted, enjoy the decadence, and then poit everything out into a cornfield somewhere…
With her current poit skills, she’d accidentally poit the “refuse” into the middle of Target Field.
DURING a game.
Igitt! >:^G
Chest freezer. you can stick half a cow in one of those things.
Okay.
I’m sorry.
“Chest freezer” and “cow” in a comment referring to Monica started all sorts of strange, rude and improper images percolating…
LOL
Must be some awesome custard. XD
All custard is awesome by default.
….where does it go? Where does the excess weight go? Does she *poit* it off?
What happened to the *entire* turkey Tepoz poited into her stomach?
Or (aside from an epic belch) to the entire *pizza* Bud did the same with?
YES; THE EVIL BRILLIANT DR. CUSTARD TRIUMPHS ONCE MORE! MWAHAHAHAHA!
And thus endeth the recent adventure of the Crimson Mantis. G’nite, folks! Try the waitress and be sure to tip the veal!
(i’m gonna have to buy a pint of ice cream during lunch now)
So, Monnica was channeling her inner Admiral Ackbar?
wow, to have a supernatural stomach, eat what I want, get that loverly ‘distended’ feeling, and than just poit it away, before it reaches my thighs!!! 😀
Sorry, doesn’t work that way. It reaches your thighs if you just walk past the buffet and inhale. You don’t have to actually, you know, consume the calories. I can walk into a food court in a mall and crawl out the other side ten pounds heavier, without getting closer than six feet to any calorie. I think it has something to do with original sin. “No, you didn’t actually eat anything, but you thought about it. bloat bloat bloat …
Wasn’t Mr. Custard a suspect in the board (and now Video!) game, “Clue”?
A dastardly deed-doer if I ever discerned one.
Nah, that was Col. Mustard. (Pretty close, though.)
Don’t forget the movie! 🙂
…and interactive dinner theater. Not that I ever saw it, but it sounded like fun.
With Multiple endings, even!
Let the nightmares/weird dreams begin in 5…..4…..3….
Eating way too much junk food then laying around in front of the television. It looks like Monica is living the American dream. 😉
It would be pretty awesome to be a minion or trusted henchman of Dr. Custard. Commit unspeakable acts of evil & vice in exchange for delicious frozen desserts? SOLD.
Do cable channels or satellite TV even have prime time or is that just a broadcast TV thing?
“Bad prime time television” is a tautology.
Ugh. Last time I ate that much ice cream, I felt like
O o
/¯¯/_o___o___o___o____o____o___o
| DOCTOR OCTANOGAPUS! BLAAH!!!
\__\¯¯o¯¯¯o¯¯¯¯¯¯o¯¯¯¯¯¯o¯¯¯¯¯¯o
into the toilet.
your graphic looks a mite… graphic.
I can’t tell what it’s supposed to be.
On the leftmost side, the “O o” at the top is two eyes. The shape beneath is a wide-open mouth from which the rest of the ASCII art is emerging. I trust you can figure out the rest from context.
Ewwwww….
Heh Heh. Imma firein ma lazar!!
Man, has Monica’s cholesterol levels gone down a ton since her health alarm over them, or was that just a riff played for laughs and now we don’t care about it? Because the way she’s been shown eating lately sure doesn’t encourage me to think that health issue would be going away, in fact I’d think it would be getting worse.
Well, Monica never was as gung-ho about her cholesterol levels as Kevin was…and he’s not been around much lately.
Hmm, I wonder if Dr. Custard Has crossed paths with the psychopathic Ithorian Dr. Humerus.
URP !
Scuse me .
I just noticed that Dr. Custard was “Est. 1933” on the package. So this isn’t like Ben&Jerry’s.
Wow! Monica can sure put away that custard. I hope she doesn’t get sick or suffer from brain freeze.
Meanwhile, Dietzel, with the help of Dylan the Pizza Girl, is burning the Bumbling Bumblbee costume.
What’s it been since we’ve seen the Pizza Girl now, 3 years? 4? We need an update on her as well. I know that pizza delivery is at best a short-term employment option, surely she has gotten another job by now?
April 7th of this year; Her name is Dylan.
Is she teleporting custard?
I was able to gobble down three pints of icecream in college time. But 6 – no way.