The eternal question! Do you try to prevent a problem by warning them or help pick up the pieces afterwards?
The All Purpose Wisdom Nugget: Stop It!
Depends on how old they are. And, you know, if they’re likely to break anything.
Warn them then help them pick up the pieces when they don’t listen.
(and try to ensure you don’t have a told you so expression when you do so 🙂 )
Paula- You’re right I always hated that look on my brothers face.
Could you run that one by me again?
From what I gather she wants Shelly to go to her so they can fall apart over icecream/crying at the same time so they are both on the same level – emotionally.
If Shelly now visits M and she is all calm and Zen-like, M will feel like she will have to hide her feelings because she just doesn’t know how Shelly is really feeling.
Least I think so.
Well, either that or perhaps to boost your own feelings of self-worth by being needed by someone else.
I had to read through it a few times too. 🙂
Phix is my favourite…Period.
Phix: And you’re here why?
Monica: … *Poit*
Shelly: Oh, hi, Monica…
Why is she waiting for Shelly to go to her?
As I see it, fear that she’s unable to actually help Shelly. M’s old hang-ups are surfacing again.
Technically, the word is “sleight” not slight. As in sleight of hand. It’s funny I just learned the difference myself a few hours ago,
I must have a different dictionary than you do; mine has “a pointed and contemptuous discourtesy; affront: She considered not being invited an unforgivable slight ” as #10 under slight. I don’t think Phix would play up her cunning by using “sleight” instead; that comes off sounding kind of conceited.
Just my two cents; no offense intended.
adj. slight·er, slight·est
1. Small in size, degree, or amount: a slight tilt; a slight surplus.
2. Lacking strength, substance, or solidity; frail: a slight foundation; slight evidence.
3. Of small importance or consideration; trifling: slight matters.
4. Small and slender in build or construction; delicate.
tr.v. slight·ed, slight·ing, slights
1. To treat as of small importance; make light of.
2. To treat with discourteous reserve or inattention.
3. To do negligently or thoughtlessly; scant.
1. The act or an instance of slighting.
1. Deftness; dexterity.
2. A clever or skillful trick or deception; an artifice or stratagem.
Both from the free dictionary
Think Paul is correct with his spelling with that dictionary at any rate 🙂
Ooo…thank you for reminding me about the spelling difference between the two versions of the word! 🙂 I mean…I agree with the others on their dictionary finds, but I needed the “sleight of hand” spelling for something today. 🙂 Excellent timing!
And I like how he snuck it in when we weren’t looking.
I’d never slight his sleight of hand.
Monica, you don’t go to anyone when you are falling apart from what I gather.
Unless it’s Amanda and even then, not very much.
Heck the person who has seen M fall apart has been Tepoz and that’s only because he forced his way into her home so she couldn’t hide how she felt to him.
Monica is doing her darndest to make it all about her. Pretty selfish considering it’s actually all about Shelly and Jin. At the moment mostly Shelly. Still, maybe I’m missing something here. Is Monica saying she’s falling apart?
From what I gather she is yes.
I think in some respects she tried to be to Shelly like Amanda was to Monica. Either a Mom or a big Sister.
Now her kid/little sister has gone through 80k years of living and well..M has no experience about that so cannot help her so its freaking her out. Shelly will need M but because of Monicas inexperience, she feels she won’t be able to help her.
I’m sure when faced to face with Shelly she will be less selfish but for now, alone and with someone M feels is more mature than Amanda, she can vent her insecurities 🙂
(least the above is how I read it)
I think you hit the nail on the head there. I think Monica subconsciously prided herself in being more mature or experienced than Shelly, but now Shelly has had an extreme and sobering experience that no mortal can comprehend and Monica may now feel like the immature and inexperienced one.
I believe I, and a lot of others, have felt the same way when we come across someone that simply knows more than ourselves. Suddenly you feel stupid. And Monica is so smart you KNOW she would hate that feeling.
M does seem a bit petulant for not being the “go to” person for help and advice but I suspect that there is quite a mixture of emotions going on inside her right now – some conscious and some not. As most humans, she is a complex amalgam of experiences, thoughts, fears and desires.
Paul continues to amaze me with his wisdom and depth of understanding of human nature. It is far, far beyond his years.
*gasp* Maybe Paul is a sphinx! 😮
@SoWhyMe – Wait…are you saying that you wouldn’t freak out a bit if one of your friends (one who came to you whenever he/she had problems…even if it meant waking you up in the middle of the night) went through something you can’t begin to relate to?
Seems to me that Monica’s reaction is within the realms of normal. The truly self-centered person would probably start acting out in some way to draw the attention of the group of friends back to herself. Monica just seems to be venting to someone who was already aware of Shelly’s “alter ego”, so isn’t likely to be behaving any differently (probably unlike some of those friends).
Well, for me this “friend” thing is all theoretical but, what I’m saying is that the way she is approaching her speaking out about it to Phix seems to me to be very self-centered. She’s not simply asking how she can help Shelly. Of course she is implying that, but her approach is to whine about how it affects her. Not good and not a way to impress a sphinx like Phix.
But Phix is wise enough to set her straight–and help her see the point about Shelly needing her so that she gets out of her snit.
‘Busty’ is the only word echoing in my head right now LOL
I was also waiting for Phix to tell Monica, “You’re busted!”
Monica is being selfish. Phix has just told her what Shelly needs and Monica is more concerned about her needs than Shelly’s. If you can’t accept that you may not be the person that is confided in (or confided in first) then you shouldn’t be a confident.
Meh…sometimes the best thing for someone who is falling to pieces to see is that she’s not the only one falling to pieces over something. Sucks, but it’s true. Personally, I can’t begin to help others until I’m emotionally detatched or centered.
If I’m losing control, seeing someone completely in control after facing the same situation tends to make me more likely to flip out. I want to believe my reactions are “normal”…that will calm me better than anything else…or at least let me pretend calm for as long as it takes to help a friend.
“If you can keep your head while everyone around you loses theirs, chances are you don’t really understand the situation.”
I originally read that in an old jokebook, and it’s served me well ever since. 😉
More on a theme…
Haha, this one is delightful! 😀
I like the theme 🙂
Its funny and makes for good posters 😀
Hmm.. I am see-sawing between:selfish Monica, and concerned Monica.
It seems as if M feels inadequate to help Shelly, really wants to be there for her, but does not feel sure enough herself to go to Shelly, and just ask how she feels, since M is much more overwhelmed by what happened than Shellinx seems to be (or so she thinks!)
M is just afraid that she cannot be the help that Shelly needs. A bit like how Shelly felt at first when Tepoz had the talk about ‘being a friend, and remember that at the right moment’ At least, that is how I see this verbal fidgeting of M.
Very few people have the mentor-like awareness to be a spiritual guide for people. Most of us do the most good simply by showing up and listening.
Most people don’t really need a spiritual guide, apart from a strategic nudge or two on occasion. I find that it’s almost always more important to be that listening ear, so they can figure out for themselves what they need.
When you feel like your life is falling apart, it is sometimes the best time to go help someone else. You may find an answer or help for your problems or just see that your problems are small compared to theirs. It’s a breather. Viewing a Bigger picture always helps.
Maybe what Monica needs is to go see Shelly about all of this. Yes, she’s more comfortable with Shelly coming to her freaking out…but it might be good for her to approach Shelly in the role of the person needing emotional help. It might be good for their friendship, and it would certainly add the dimension of give and take that wasn’t apparently there as much as it should be.
Easier said than done of course. 🙂
Is Monica wearing a push-up bra? Her breasts have been more distracting than normal the past two days.
maybe its stress growth?
She has her arms crossed in a defensive pose, tightly against her body. Her boobs don’t have anywhere else to go but up.
From experiance, her arms could cross over her boobs in stead of under, thus they COULD also go down. But it’s more fun to draw pushed up boobs than squished down boobs.
It depends on the size of the bosom in question, doesn’t it? If they are too full, it might be quite uncomfortable to have your arms so high.
bmonk (above) and Fairportfan (below) are right. When dealing with sizable mammaries, crossing the arms under the breasts is really the only way to go. Across/above them is just flat out weird-feeling and uncomfortable.
…and probably more comfortable for the person doing boobage uplift vs. boobage squishing.
Did they say something? I was distracted by M’s pose… If she crosses her arms a bit tighter we might get serious fan service!
Well, well. Looks like it’s Moni who needs to go to Shelly to get comfort and reassurance, intead of the other way ’round. As “Ice Man” King Parsons would say: It be that way, sometimes.
I’m kinda having a little trouble following the panel floe here. Is it columnar or are we going across left-to-right? It kinda works either way. (?)
How I read it
4/5: same time..
I’m still back at trying to figure out why Monica is freaking out. She dealt with the Calendar Machine, she’s making headway with helping Jin, she’s got a great guy, a great job. The only thing I see is she’s been forced into a passive role over this stuff (mentioned this yesterday).
I’m just not getting where this is coming from. Is Shelly’s experience freaking Monica out? what?
Shelly has been a constant in Monica’s life – virtually the ONLY unchanging thing.
And now that’s changed.
Monica has great reserves of fortitude, but she is still on rocky ground with self-confidence, which is why Doubt was her principal demon, not Lust, Vanity or Rage.
OK I think I got it. Monica’s wondering if there’s any place for her in Shelly’s life anymore.
If there’s anything more than that going on, I’m still missing it though.
Another good point.
To me it looks like Monica thinks that only an authority, someone standing “above” Shelly can now help her. M feels she cannot be that one anymore, while Phix is actually saying: “share, be together in your “falling apart”. And that the difference of 80000 years of banishment and gained wisdom doesn’t change a thing in the root-connection between M and Shelly as “Friends”
Phix tries -in her own riddle-riddled ( 😀 ) way to point-out that M is focussing on the wrong part of the equasion i.e. The “difference” and should ,instead, focus on the one thing they share: Their friendship.
At least, that is what I read in it.
I believe we all try to put ourselves in the place of the characters. In Shelly’s case, I feel I would have little, if anything, in common with my old friends at this point. My old concerns and theirs would seem so trival now. The things we used to have in common void of meaning. After all, she was feeling a big letdown after the calendar machine episode. That is nothing compared to this. I would have much more in common with Phix and Nudge now; even Jin.
“Sully, for shame!” Jonathan said in reproach, “and don’t be foolish!
What are we trying to practice every day? If our friendship depends on
things like space and time, then when we finally overcome space and time,
we’ve destroyed our own brotherhood! But overcome space, and all we have
left is Here. Overcome time, and all we have left is Now. And in the
middle of Here and Now, don’t you think that we might see each other once
Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Richard Bach
I REALLY do not like Monica. Sure she’s fine when its all about her, but let one good/bad thing happen to one of her “freinds” and it’s poor lonesome me.
It makes here seem shallow and unlikeable. maybe thats what paul is going for.
I think Pull is using this exchange as a way to bring things out in the story, as opposed to it being about Monica’s self centered attitude. We are probably missing the whole point by harping on the selfish aspect (as I have been doing as well).
So basically Sphinx is sayin she’s not always the first one Shelly goes to, but she’s definitely the last?
Pull? Darn, that’s only marginally even close. “Paul”
Oh great! To top it off the correction is even in the wrong place and not attached to the thread above.
It’s that whole time-n-space continuum thing. The seagulls are messin’ with it, man.
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