Ah, Lydia will face her greatest challenge. The worlds most powerful sports bra.
If Monica’s regular bras felt like a military helmet when one was on Tina’s head, this one is gonna feel like an Abrams Tank.
For this is no ordinary bosom: As Tina is all too aware, this is The Chest That Can Destroy The World.
Lydia is going to have call in Edna Mode, Tony Stark, Q of MI6, and Marco Morante to fight this challenge.
(there was no “Like” button – but it was desperately needed, so I’m posting here. )
You mean Edna “No Capes” Mode?
They need the best minds in the industry.
Don’t forget the Ghost of Howard Hughes, who used his aeronautical engineering genius to craft a bra for the fabulous Jane Russell.
I would so buy a bra from the Bravengers! 😀
Q? Of course! M always has Q!
Monica is going to need some serious help. Here – in a roundabout manner – is my suggestion:
From the ‘The Princess Bride’:
Vizzini: Let me put it this way. Have you ever heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates?
Man in Black: Yes.
While personally leaning towards Edna ‘No Capes!’ Mode, we have to keep in mind that in the Wapsi universe we have one of the greatest minds of all: Mayahuel – Jin’s mother – inventor of the Calendar Machine…
…I’ve been wondering what Mayahuel would invent next.
Hmmm… Irresistible force(s) meet… comfortable, supportative, pretty flower print object(s)?
might wanna tap the tailor from Johnny Saturn while she’s at it
Have carbon nanotubes been used for bra construction before because they might be needed in this case.
eyes off the twin distractions!!! 😀
looks like M is not * just* a buddy,
but sargent major!!
“you want to get fit or not, private!!!!!”
The ultimate engineering challenger of her career. But can such a thing be designed much less built? Is this creation beyond the kin of mortal man? Will Grechen has to delve into world of mad science?
Dang it, I meant Lydia not Gretchen. I demand a do over!!
What, you don’t think Gretchen is going to be up to her elbows in building what Lydia designs? I’m placing bets on her being much more than just a receptionist.
It needs to be bionic so it can self adjust to situational stresses. Yep you guessed it. ‘The 6 Million Dollar Bra’. How about that for a TV show.
. Much money into the pun jar.
Monica Villarreal, Archeologist.
A woman in need of a sports bra.
We can build it, we have the technology.
We have the capability to create the worlds first Bionic Sports Bra.
Monica Villarreal will wear that bra.
Better than it was before, Better, Stronger and more supportive….
Que theme music
Shoot, anthropologist not archeologist.
just pretend that’s what I said.
I’m noticing a pattern here…
“The $6 Mil. Bra” Must be a gov’t-funded project then. ‘Bound’ to fail…
It’s under the military banner. If there is one thing The US of A does right, it is military hardware. Of course it might cost the equivalent of a third world country’s GDP, but it’ll do the job.
….. and ALL that based just on the last panel! (and yesterday’s premise) :/
you’ve ‘been in yer bunk’ fer to long & forgotten what is really happening!! 🙂
– to take the limp nervous body of Tina, and the lazy couch-demons within her, and turn it into a tight, trim, gym machine!!!
This creation will be Lydia’s Magnum Opus.
So long as this is not one of those types projects that drives an artist mad trying to complete the masterpiece.
Or worse, she kills herself immediately after creating it because she knows it’s the greatest & most powerful brassiere ever made, and can never be matched (let alone exceeded).
So, the final ingredient necessary for the completion of the Infinity Bra is the lifeblood of the bra-maker, willingly sacrificed?
Maybe not her own blood, but blood of passion and tragedy. Sorta like The Red Violin.
The Infinity Bra. I like that.
Begin “Monica Quest”
If you though fixing the universe was tough, you ain’t seen nothing. Galaxies and universes will be crossed, like a heart. Jane Russel will be resurrected and given the power of the full figured women of the world, making her a goddess. Whole suns will power it, and Time will have no power over it. A new wing of The Library will be created just for the research needed. That sword blade (you know the one) will be retrieved and be reforged into the superstructure. And in the end, Monica will be tempted to use the awesome power of this Bra to rule all space and time, kuz it can like totally do that.
But wait! Doing so will make it unable to give her the support she needs, preventing her from exercising.
And Thanos will be conflicted. To weld the Infinity Bra, he must become a woman, and without the power of it, he will never get Death to love him. Then he realizes that Death may be into chicks, and lo, he becomes kool with that. So he must take it, and make it his, er, hers!
So ends “Monica Quest”
“The Infinity Bra”:
We begin with Thanos-et (what else are we going to call him/her?) totally rockin’ it, having wrested the Bra from Monica. He (She She, get it strait, he’s a she at this point, amateur) has her chained to his thrown in that Tomb Raider outfit, because he has Death in the Princess Lea Metal Bikini, and you cannot do both. Verily.
Jane Russel and the various gods and cosmic entities of the universe make a frontal attack, but Thanos-et just shakes um off.
Luckily, Thanos-et still has bathroom issues (OCD tie in), and has to take off the bra to “make sure it doesen’t get messy”, especially now that it’s all different down there. (He/She learned nothing from the last 42 times he did this). Monica regains the Bra and sets things right, and turns Thanos back to a man. He pouts a lot.
End “Infinity Bra”
Begin “Bra Wars: Infinity Bra chapter 2”:
The Powers of the universe have determined that the Bra is to dangerous to exist (and the girl Powers are all jellen kuz it is just totally bitchen, ya know). It is limited by strange and arcane means to only providing adequate support, and can only have a really ugly print.
But soon, a Crisis erupts that threatens the Finite Earths, thereby retroactively preventing all the steps that lead up to fixing the Clock. Only The Infinity Bra at full power can save time this time. And, besides, that print is just embarrassing Monica at the gym.
To fix the Bra takes a strange and arcane call to tech support. Long holds as the demi-god tech has to get authorization from his supervisor. The Hold-Music-Of-The-Gods lulls Monica to a stupor, and the mystery mastermind who has orchestrated all this snatches the Bra from her, just as the tech tells her that her account has been reactivated. (Well, she couldn’t have it on and read the serial codes now, could she?)
Before he/she can do something neat with the Bra, Someone Else steals it. And so on and so forth, with chase scenes stumbling through half of the web comics out there (this is an epic cross-over after all).
Just in time for the last issue, all of the villains are defeated and the Crisis is put to rest (for now…). From now on, The Infinity Bra stays in the Library, which now has a new weight room, right next to the juice bar and the daycare center.
So closes this chapter
Stay tuned true belevers, for “Infinity Bra 3: The Cross-ade”.
Brought to you by U.S. Parody laws.
Thanks Jeff. Now I need to get coffee off my screen. ;-p
But does the Infinity Bra “lift and separate”?
NOW make that into a comic strip… worth it??? 😀
Striving for the impossible is fun. If you fail, who cares. It was impossible anyway. If you succeed… Yeah.
Because that’s the way Team Wapsi Rolls. Just who the hell do you think they are?!
Epic reference is Epic. I love that series.
So, who in the Wapsiverse is going to provide access to the special high-tech polymers needed for such a magniicant creation? Seems as if Lanthian or Lakhenaten technologies may be called for… Euryale may know if any such are still available these days. If not, Lydia may have to make do with Kevlar and carbon fiber.
I suppose a whole Wapsi epic subplot could arise from the search for supporting materials. “Quest For Wire” anyone?
Shame there’s no bleed-through with the Marvel Universe. Some sort of vibranium weave would be ideal for something like this.
Spider webs. Stronger than steel, more flexible tha carbon fiber as well as less fragile, and feels like silk (Heck, it IS silk – I wonder if Spinnerette and Sahira have some spare time this week?).
If vibranium and unstable molecules aren’t an option, a titanium mesh reinforced by kevlar might be called for. Her breasts need to be locked down and rendered immobile. Spandex isn’t up to restraining a bust of that magnitude Last we heard, M was a J cup and one can only assume she’s grown since then.
Reminds me of Larry Niven, who postulated several impossible materials for his Ringworld–scrith, room temperature superconductors, whatever the Universal Hulls were made out of, and so on. He even said of scrith something like, “I needed yet another impossibly strong material.”
Aha! A sports bra which blocks approximately 50% of incoming neutrinos!
AFAICS peeps are forgetting what a ‘sports bra’ is!!!
It is NOT to lift and separate, nor is it meant to make her look good…
please do an image search – you will see….:/
the main thing they do, is to squash the breast against the chest, ensuring comfort with no movement… so I dont think super strong stuff is needed.. well, maybe some good strength spandex…
the problem comes from M’s slight form, and how to do that without compromising comfort, yet not restricting athletic movement…
Not so comfortable…
well as I said, a compromise.. NOT to be worn outside the gym…
I recently saw a well endowed girl at a nightclub, and could not figure out what was wrong with the shape of her top!!
I just realized, she was wearing a sports bra, that squashed her chest.. If she was wearing a proper nightclub bra, she would be almost a big as M.. 🙂
– but then she may have just been ‘out with the girls’ and did not want mens attention… :p
“Get out the BIG spool of Kevlar, and the ballistic nylon!”
Bring on the jogging and prepair for another traffic pileup
Shock Absorber might have something that will work- or is definitely going to require a custom fit?
All Lynda’s bras are custom fitted, there is no 1 size fits all
Shock Absorbers aren’t “one size fits all”…but they aren’t custom fitted either.
They’re still pretty awesome without customization… 🙂 I’ve got G-cups, and they dont’ go anywhere when I’m wearing one of those.
Damn…Shock Absorbers only go up to H cups. Granted, that’s a British H, not a US H…but still. 🙁 Not necessarily a good solution for our friend Villareal. Lydia probably could benefit from some of that technology though!
A sports bra that will last more than 1 hour of wear is a challenge. To last a week or a month is a crowning achievement (and that’s just for a 36D/C…once I was a 48DD…which isn’t even that big).
Let’s think a moment. It will need a device to control inertia because if it doesn’t the first aerobic dance will put Monica in the hospital. It needs small antgravity generators so she can jog without spraining her back. It needs a load dispersal and balancing system. Armored sides in case she drops a free weioght. A camaflague system so she doesn’t gather huge crowds of drooling guys every time she goes to the gym. No need for weapons as I am sure Monica has pin poit accuracy on her own.
So, vibranium plus Stark Industries engineering…
Throw in some of whatever was in the hoverboards from Back to the Future.
Who designs She-hulk’s bras? That’s who they need.
Well — if you must know — SheHulk of the 1990’s (or thereabouts) was modeled after Playboy’s Petra Verkaik, and she uses Enell Sports Bras http://www.enell.com/athleteProfiles.php?athleteID=14 . So there.
“Challenge accepted !”
-Barney Stinson, How I met your mother.
(Actually now that I think about it, why hasn’t he been sniffing around these girls?)
Because Barney is in New York. The character “Neil Patrick Harris” from the Harold and Kumar series however, probably already tried.
As a busty workout chick, I can say with authority that Monica should be getting more than one bra if she’s going to be working out regularly; she’s not going to want to keep washing one bra, and if she does, it’s not going to last for long. 🙂
That’s a very good point. Maybe just one for a test run, and then Lydia can make more?
Yes, multiple bras, but one Master bra! One bra to rule them all!
Or ‘One bra to rule the mall!’
And you sent me to the Pun Jar?!?
Punny is, as punny does….. (c8
One bra to rule them all, one bra to find them–
One bra to bring them all and in the darkness bind them!
Yeah, ok. *Gentle Clunk* First edition of the whole series.
Is that the current-revision first edition, or the “Unauthorized” U.S. edition based on Tolkein’s earlier British edition?
Cue “Mission Impossible” theme.
I was thinking more “Highway to the Danger Zone”!
Didn’t get to the song, youtube put up an Interesting trailer. Thought it was a movie, New series by JJ Abrams called “REVOLUTION”. Looks intriguing.
I assume this means that both Lydia and Gretchen are now to be considered regular supporting characters in Wapsi Square?
To the Pun Jar, young Man!
no… EXTRAORDINARY Supporting characters. 😀
Who’s Lydia and Gretchen again? Can someone please link me a comic for them? I really really don’t remember these characters or when they last appeared.
Here is the first time we saw Gretchen.
And here is Lydia.
And a short while after those strips are the traffic accident.
Thanks for the refresher Casey.
I love that clenched fist, beautifully conveyed tension!
Wow, the places my head can go sometimes …
For some reason, I got a sudden image in my head of Tina saying, “what if you just went without one?” followed by Pinhead saying “her suffering would be legendary … even in Hell …”
Yeah, looks like the blood level is getting high in my caffeine system … time to brew a fresh pot methinks …
Do allow for nursing shields
Even if M is preggers, that’s not a good idea. Nursing bras are built to be “pull apart” essentially. That would mess with the stability required for a sports bra.
Make for one helluva incident at the gym-
“Local girl serves concussion to three others when a sudden twist caused her brassire to disintegrate- Survivors describe an attack of massive mammeries poking thru the ports of a NASA designed nursing sportsbra”
– “Lydia’s a big girl”
Yeah well so are you M. That’s the problem!
… but she may have meant height & character..:)
Hope Monica takes Tina with her. Tina doesn’t seem all that clear on what her body needs, or how it should fit, and can use all the help she can get here.
There hasn’t been this much grim determination drawn since the last Giant Robot Anime I watched.
Hmm, I wonder what this’ll be like. Don’t sports bras usually just flatten breasts to prevent them from bouncing?
Only poorly designed ones.
Cloth from Superman’s cape.
(Don’t pull on it.)
But Bravenger Edna Mode demands “No capes!”
JWT- Now, now, I don’t think Edna would object to recycling an old capes material. As long as it is no longer used as a cape.
Two stainless steel mixing bowls and the back half of a bulletproof vest.
A custom milled top using the same tech as the GEM diving suit.
“Mithril! Yer full of surprises, Ms. Villareal!”
She doesn’t need armor…she needs restraint. 🙂 They are two different things, you know.
Spider webs are very strong and yet flexible and resilient. But a Spider web bra might be expensive.
That’s why I suggested a Spinnerette cross-over. Sahira even knows how to knit it into a super-suit;she might be able to do a sports bra, even for Monica.
UM… yeah… It’s called silk Lingerie.. it’s supposed to be expensive…
Funny punchline after a great buildup. 🙂
Are we going to see a cameo from the actress that plays Vasquez on Aliens? She’s a busty gal, and she owns a custom bra shop!
And Paul has mentioned her on his Facebook page in the past.
Man I’m stupid. I forgot that he has her link on his friends list here.
Oh that poor poor lingerie designer…
Bwah! Took me several minutes to stop laughing…
Perhaps Monica could use some of her Lanthian connections, and get a sports-bra with built in anti-gravity support? And inertial dampeners?
More seriously – supportive and comfortable bras for the well-endowed are really a challenge…
I’m unashamed to admit this… last panel made me giggle..
li’l bit 🙂
Ok, I recommend a 316 stainless halter top drilled with a bunch of holes like a colander for breathability. If properly formed, it would be thoroughly comfortable. Soft padding is only needed for when something doesn’t fit right.
For the men in the audience – one way to stay out of this sort of trouble – date/marry a lady in the 32 to 34 B class. No problems ever..
But you don’t pick a girl–or a guy, for that matter–as friend or spouse on account of her looks either way. You care about the person, and accept them, and their issues.
Maybe Monica ought to introduce Lydia to the library. There’s probably some ancient tomes filled with Lanthian/Lakhenaten tech notes for creating some sort of vibrational harness that can then be adapted into a sports bra capable of holding back… Eh, never mind. Calendar machines, V-Cells, etc. are more believable than a bra that can contain M’s bounciness.
Sooo.. M said “expect ÚS” Is Tina, perchance, a bit nervous because she will undoubtedly be fitted too with a “bra of bra’s” and that she actually never thought about “the ship” as being “herself” a person named “Tina”?
(If that makes any sense)
It probably means M & Tina, but it could just as easily mean M and her “girls.”
Tina might be nervous over the fact that Lydia will have to make something that has never been seen in this universe before. And, or she is nervous about having her first fitting since the rats took over the pink-slip for the ship.
I loved Lydia last time she was in the strip! [gets popcorn]
Let’s see, a Mr. Fusion pocket reactor to provide the steam. The steam to provide electricity to power stepper motors capable of 150 Newton-meters of torque on average with bursting capabilities of up to 200 NM (In case of Trampolines). The motors are used to control the multi-cored high-tensile strength stainless steel cables to provide either tension or relaxation of the main and ancillary cables controlling the latitudinal, longitudinal and rotational forces depending upon feedback from the stress sensors. Stress sensors calibrated to provide realtime updates a minimum of every .01 seconds up to 1 second, the rate of updates increasing upon the realtime heartrate increasing as a percentage above the resting heartrate. Integrated neck and shoulder pads to spread the transmission of force over a wider area. Over built to handle 2 G’s of downward force (or two J’s as the case may be – wire transfer to the Pun Vault). BackStraps that give upon lowered oxygen level in the blood to enable a more complete filling of the chest cavity. The fabric needs to be breathable, soft and yielding to the original shape, yet strong enough not to burst or to stretch out of the original shape. Lots of fabrics have been discussed, I’m thinking of an inner layer of silk for softness and to wick away the moisture, a kevlar mesh core to provide strength and anti-bursting qualities and an outer layer of a small thread-count cotton to help with the breathability.
She could do any physical thing she wanted to and the “subjects” would remain exactly as they were initially. Plus or minus .05%. Oh and a steam whistle, just because we can (c8.
Paul, not trying to tell you what to do with your comic, but I think that much hilariousness would ensue showing articles such as we, the above, have designed, in comics showing the rejected designs. As such, feel free to use any or all of what I have designed. (And I might even buy a print of Monica in a Steampunk bra – Just sayin’)
I could see Paul totally doing the last part as a dream sequence…..
What a wonderful way to start out a Monday! Love this one a bunch.
BRAHAHAHAHA *clink* I knew it! Soon as Monica said exercise I knew the spooky Lydia had to come back.
Poor Lydia. No engineer wants to be known as the designer for Galloping Gertie 2.
Oh, color selection. Well, it’s a good day to dye. *slap* *kaching*
This reminds me of my college days. Back at good old CMU, once a year all of the engineering majors (well, at least the Civil Engineers and maybe the Mechanical Engineers) would have a contest. Build a bridge of balsa wood and glue. Had to span a 3 foot gap. Could weigh no more than some small amount (like a half pound or so, or the equivalent in grams.) They’d then set them up, and start adding weight to the middle until each one collapsed. If you took the most weight before crashing, you got the A. I hear it was spectacular.
I see a female kung-fu gauze wrapped chest in Monica’s future. It’s the only way to contain those breast.
..OR, they could swim!! (That’s my solution to the problem)
Ok, I’ll raise the question. Can Mithril even be woven into a bra????
Google “Chainmail bikini”
Any metal can be woven, if extruded as a fine enough thread. It’s a question of whether you can afford it, heh.
heh, just google image for ‘mithril bra’ 🙂 🙂
Lydia has a degree in Engineering maybe theres somebody from NASA they can contact. Maybe Euryale can bring some notes from Michelangelo?
Giving a whole new meaning to flying buttress?
::glides a DaVinci heliocopter into the pun vault::
Well, Monica’s got quote a heavy burden to bear, but I’m sure her determination will see her to her destination ‘chest’ fine! Whatever distractions try to ‘pec’ away at her focus, she has my full support!
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