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"Bad Girlfriend"
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Bad Girlfriend
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Bad Girlfriend

by Paul Taylor on December 21, 2025 at 6:32 pm
Story: Wapsi-Archive
Characters: Castela, Shawna
Location: Castela's Apartment

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Discussion (22) ¬

  1. Czarzhan
    December 21, 2025, 7:14 pm | # | Reply

    “Okay, Cas? I need you to lean into being the friggen Blackthorne and just dismiss being drunk now. This is a bit much.

  2. Robert Nowall
    December 21, 2025, 9:30 pm | # | Reply

    Admitting she has a problem with alcohol. Good first step.

  3. Risky
    December 21, 2025, 9:41 pm | # | Reply

    If your night of drunken revels ends at the nearest toilet, you are doing okay. No driving, no destructo-raying, no eating random Whiterun citizens, no situations involving angy Dibellans and goats, just a very patient girlfriend who you owe bigly. And don’t make it a habit.

  4. Dave
    December 22, 2025, 12:10 am | # | Reply

    Oh, dear. I guess that for our little tumbleweed, “barring her guts out” is literally true. 🙁

  5. Centaur71
    December 22, 2025, 3:59 am | # | Reply

    Well, let this be a learning experience for you, Cass; adult know when to say ‘when’…

  6. The Old Wolf
    December 22, 2025, 6:44 am | # | Reply

    Lol puking up brambles gave me a good laugh this morning.

  7. Keith (current identity)
    December 22, 2025, 7:42 am | # | Reply

    Yeah kiddo. If you are at the puking your guts stage A) you drank too much. B) You drank too fast. C) There is something about what you drank (seriously had that happen after drinking sloe gin) D) it was the flu not the booze and yes that has happened to me. E) all of the above.

    • RBZ
      December 22, 2025, 8:57 am | # | Reply

      C) Cider’s my particular poison. A bit ironic, as I hail from the West Country, and most of my local drinking buddies grew up on the stuff. Coincidentally, there is a popular cider brand called Blackthorn.
      D) I have also been felled by influenza while being under the influence.

      Never been done in by A nor B, though.

    • Mgnostic
      December 22, 2025, 11:48 am | # | Reply

      I used to drink sloe gin during my college days. If I remember correctly it would give new intensity to the technicolor yawn.

  8. littlebubulle
    December 22, 2025, 8:23 am | # | Reply

    I wonder how much of Castela’s human physical behaviour and reactions are the result of her biology or if it’s only emulated biological functions. Castela has human genes but isn’t actually physically human. She’s a bundle of branches and vines shaped like a human. She doesn’t have any of the human organs that would be affected by ethanol in the first place.

    So the question would be if all her “human” reactions are only emulations. In other words, is she only drunk because her human form thinks she should be drunk?

    • RBZ
      December 22, 2025, 8:48 am | # | Reply

      She’s a human-plant hybrid, not a plant emulating a human. Her reactions are genuine, but probably shouldn’t always conform exactly to how a human’s nor a plant’s should.

    • Hinoron
      December 22, 2025, 10:40 am | # | Reply

      Most of your first paragraph is incorrect. She is a half human hybrid, right down to her DNA. Her body is real, not an affectation.
      She’s a good deal MORE than just a human, but she isn’t NOT a human.

      • littlebubulle
        December 22, 2025, 4:30 pm | #

        Isn’t her body still made of bunched up brambles and vines though? IIRC, when she was young, she could unravel merely by tripping and liked to sleep in a pot so it would contain her if she unraveled in her sleep.

      • Paul Taylor
        December 22, 2025, 7:17 pm | #

        Yes. =)

  9. Dave Van Domelen
    December 22, 2025, 11:17 am | # | Reply

    I mean, her getting too drunk COULD be the end of the world.

    • RBZ
      December 23, 2025, 7:56 am | # | Reply

      Imagine if all that foliage she’s been vomiting was viable plant tissue, and once flushed through the system would float around the oceans until it found purchase on far flung shores, at which point it started to grow and spread. The Blackthorn could play the long game just by nudging her into requent intoxication!

      • Dave
        December 24, 2025, 12:08 am | #

        She’s got enough difficult growing-up issues to deal with already.

        She really doesn’t need the trauma of being formally declared to be an invasive species.

  10. Steve
    December 22, 2025, 1:06 pm | # | Reply

    “Full or rag-water and bitters and Blue Ruin/ till you spill out over the edges to anyone who’ll listen.”

  11. B_Rud
    December 22, 2025, 6:38 pm | # | Reply

    Their plumber may have questions.

  12. thamadkansan
    December 22, 2025, 7:00 pm | # | Reply

    …We generally call this a ‘learning experience’. Hopefully something is learned…

  13. How Now Brown Cow
    December 22, 2025, 9:58 pm | # | Reply

    In the first two panels, there are black streaks down the toilet and in the third one it’s clean. AI generated?

    • Paul Taylor
      December 22, 2025, 11:54 pm | # | Reply

      Uh, no. I drew them and the drips fell to the floor.

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