Fut the Whuck?? OK, so YOU’RE not attracted to anyone in any way… ok, fine… then why did you get so frickin’ PISSED OFF at everyone ELSE because they WERE attracted to him, ESPECIALLY Abbie?? and before i get started, i must note that Devyn didn’t say SQUAT about the other students having “objectified the teacher” or were “sexually harrassing” him.. Abie implied it, but was shut down in that line of though by Devyn, in fact, she basically told Abbie flat out that that was NOT the reason she was pissed off (back a few strips right after the ogling the teacher strip…) at which time she left in a huff, having never stated “exactly” what ticked her off (and therefore neither do WE know) just said that she hit her limit of stupid for the day and left…
nope, I’m convinced that she was pissed that the other kids got horny AND SHE DIDN’T… and had some sort of mental overload of “lust” from the other students that she’s never experienced before and didn’t know how to handle it… so she panicked and got angry instead.
Ummm… I think she just explained that yesterday. She already feels like a weird outsider for numerous reasons (we’ve seen plenty of evidence of that before; it’s not just something she’s saying now). Having her nose rubbed in the fact that she’s the only non-horndog in her whole crowd of friends was the last straw, and she snapped out angrily.
Was she “fair” in what she said? Maybe not… but angst isn’t about fair.
I fully get Devyn’s response here, as well as Abbie’s. My kid is ace (and genderfluid so bear with me on the pronouns here) and they get bent out of shape when people make assumptions about their sexual preferences or reactions. I can remember a lot of times where my kid walked over an hour home in the middle of the night from parties where everybody was talking about sex and objectifying others – my kid was pissed off because they felt like a complete outsider in a group of their friends because my kid had no point of reference and it probably didn’t help that the poor kid was getting teased for not being at all interested in the conversation at hand. Get that thrown at you enough times and see how well you keep it contained…basically you don’t. And Abbie being all happy at the end, well, best friends can get pissed off at each other for any number of things and in the end make up and go back to being best friends again – that’s a large part of what keeps them best friends in the first place. Especially if they actually manage to communicate. Bear in mind that these are kids who can’t always get out what they mean at the time and give them credit for getting shit figured out in the end. Sometimes they just need to take a bit of time out as they figure out how to go about mending their fences and they aren’t always the first one to make a move. It’s just how it is.
It’s like missing the punch line to some big joke that everyone else seems to get, but can’t get them to tell you why it’s funny. Or when they do, it still doesn’t seem that funny….
Devyn didn’t get pissed off. She got a little upset when communication broke down between her and Abbie, and a little peeved when Abbie made her arrogant assumption, but she wasn’t PISSED OFF. Devyn clearly indicated she thought Abbie had objectified the teacher, and Abbie explained that she hadn’t. Devyn’s problem was that she DIDN’T UNDERSTAND what was going on with the girls vis a vis the teacher, and it made her feel terribly DIFFERENT. When she asked what it had all been about, she really wanted to know what it had all been about. Why the girls reacted so extremely.
Oh, and she didn’t make the first step to go back to her friend and talk to her about it. Her friend had to make the first step, even though she was told not to.
That’s my issue with this as well. Her explanation doesn’t equate to apologising for snapping and expecting Abbie to read her mind and just know what the problem was.
And she refuses to apologize to Abbie, which is something she needs to do. Abbie doesn’t deserve to be treated like she was. “This is who I am” is an excuse. It’s an excuse for her behavior. So is “I’m an asshole”, “I like picking on little kids”, and “I’m a dick.” It’s an excuse. It doesn’t excuse the behavior. It’s just an excuse.
You scream and yell at someone. You blow up at them. She confronted her supposed best and started the conversation. Tell them to not come around you until you are ready to deal with them. You tell someone you supposedly care about that you don’t have time for them. She even called her friend stupid. Her best friend. Not in a joking way. She called her best friend stupid.
That’s shitting on someone to me.
If you start a conversation you aren’t ready for, which she did, you shouldn’t just walk away from it. Hell, you shouldn’t start the conversation if you aren’t ready for it. But she did start it.
And so what if she might be asexual. I don’t care. Her friend isn’t. Neither are, apparently, are any of the other girls in her class. She wants understanding from them she needs to offer up some herself. Not shitting on her friend(s) because she can’t understand their feelings. I don’t feel bad for her. If anything I feel bad for her friends if she can’t offer up what she expects from others.
Jason, I think you’re being unreasonable. In the first place, she didn’t scream and yell. She got upset and said one harsh thing. People do that all the time. In the second place, telling someone you can’t talk now but will talk when you’re ready is a perfectly reasonable and sensible thing to do. It’s way better than trying to talk when you’re upset and mentally scattered. In the third place, how the hell do you know where a conversation will end up? I can’t see into the future. Neither can Devyn. If a conversation goes to a bad place, you break it off and come back later. That’s just good sense. And she did offer up what she expected. She expected her friend to give her a little space.
That’s the main one I refer to. Sorry, if my best friend called me an idiot while they are throwing a temper tantrum, they are going to have a lot of explaining to do and “I don’t get horny” isn’t a good enough explanation to me.
Um, she didn’t call her friend stupid or an idiot. She clearly stated that she reached a threshold where she was about to blow and no longer be reasonable. A conversation *can* be stupid without either person being stupid.
Knowing your boundaries when you are prone to nuclear meltdowns (hey, any Aspies out there?) is super key to not sending people off to Silent Hill, especially your best friend. It’s incredibly frustrating to not be able to have a clear conversation with someone whom you feel should know you better. Expectation vs reality.
This is the same girl who threw two bullies into a Silent Hill universe and the whole sequence was treated as an extended “Take that!” against bullying rather than a mentally troubled student lashing out disproportionately against a pair of assholes.
Devyn might as well have “anger issues” tattooed on her forehead. I’m honestly just surprised that no one else around her seems to have noticed or called her out on them. It’s good that she’s seeing a therapist, but there’s only so much good that can do if the problem goes unacknowledged.
I get anger issues. I went to a therapist for two years over my own anger issues, helped a lot. I am sympathetic to her on that one. But I also knew that my anger issues were my own, and if I fucked up and let them get out of hand I have to suffer the consequences of my actions. I can understand her having an issue with bullies, but in no way were any of the actions by Abbie bullying. I’ll be honest, I think she was bullying Abbie. Abbie is a very understanding person. I’m not, which is part of my own anger issues. Can’t explain something to me? Don’t start the conversation then. Come back when you can. Do not call me an idiot when you can’t explain your own shit.
That all said, I think her therapist is wrong. Devyn does need to apologize for what she said and did. She started the conversation and then went off on her supposed best friend. “I don’t get horny” isn’t an excuse, or at least not enough of one. Just because you don’t feel something doesn’t give you the right to give other people hell because they do. And that is exactly what she did. You want understanding? Offer up some yourself.
Thank you for representing asexuality! I have friends who are asexual and it’s a tough spot to be in, people just aren’t aware or willing to accept something so different from their reality. <3
It’s very tough in school when hormones run everything. I have to say, of all the sex/gender issues getting light these days, this one still gets derided. So many times I’ve heard that “the right one” line, or some other dismissive BS.
My hormones are whacky. Always have been. They’ve even out a bit as I got older. I also have church oriented sexual repression.. but.. honestly at this point, I don’t think that’s as much of an issue. I don’t really feel the church influence any more, and I’m still as disinterested in sex and dating as I ever was.
Actually, with the church I grew up in and the big PUSH for young women to get married in a hurry and start having babies… eh.. its kind of what led me to discover that I am, indeed, ace. I would go to church, and had this mentality of “need to find husband” (awful, I know)… but it always made me feel anxious, stressed, etc to think about.
it wasn’t till I was working in iraq, did some soul searching, and some internet research that I discovered asexuality was an actual… thing… and.. well, then I had a name for it. And then it made sense. and when I decided that “yeah, maybe this mate thing isn’t for me” that I actually felt peaceably content…
I have a cat and family lives nearby. I’m quite happy.
I know being asexual is an innate thing, but some part of me likes to imagine Devyn looking at all the weird sexual stuff her Greek God family got up to in myth and deliberately went, “Nope. Not getting mixed up in that.”
well you know teens these days. So angsty and hormonal lol! I remember when every little thing was a huge deal. Much different to look at teenage issues when you are an adult.
Half of me takes this at face value, and went “D’aww” along with everyone else.
The other half wonders if Abbie’s genetically competitive hindbrain just went “So she’ll never be competition for boys? SWEET! Let’s keep her around forever!”
I’m glad they’re still friends.
Fut the Whuck?? OK, so YOU’RE not attracted to anyone in any way… ok, fine… then why did you get so frickin’ PISSED OFF at everyone ELSE because they WERE attracted to him, ESPECIALLY Abbie?? and before i get started, i must note that Devyn didn’t say SQUAT about the other students having “objectified the teacher” or were “sexually harrassing” him.. Abie implied it, but was shut down in that line of though by Devyn, in fact, she basically told Abbie flat out that that was NOT the reason she was pissed off (back a few strips right after the ogling the teacher strip…) at which time she left in a huff, having never stated “exactly” what ticked her off (and therefore neither do WE know) just said that she hit her limit of stupid for the day and left…
nope, I’m convinced that she was pissed that the other kids got horny AND SHE DIDN’T… and had some sort of mental overload of “lust” from the other students that she’s never experienced before and didn’t know how to handle it… so she panicked and got angry instead.
Ummm… I think she just explained that yesterday. She already feels like a weird outsider for numerous reasons (we’ve seen plenty of evidence of that before; it’s not just something she’s saying now). Having her nose rubbed in the fact that she’s the only non-horndog in her whole crowd of friends was the last straw, and she snapped out angrily.
Was she “fair” in what she said? Maybe not… but angst isn’t about fair.
Wow, Stb. Way to go, I think I’m beginning to understand why Paul disabled the comment section back then.
She feels like she sticks out like a sore thumb. Every teenager’s worst fear.
It’s fine that you don’t understand, thats fairly commonplace amongst humans. But did you have to go and take a piss on Paul?
I fully get Devyn’s response here, as well as Abbie’s. My kid is ace (and genderfluid so bear with me on the pronouns here) and they get bent out of shape when people make assumptions about their sexual preferences or reactions. I can remember a lot of times where my kid walked over an hour home in the middle of the night from parties where everybody was talking about sex and objectifying others – my kid was pissed off because they felt like a complete outsider in a group of their friends because my kid had no point of reference and it probably didn’t help that the poor kid was getting teased for not being at all interested in the conversation at hand. Get that thrown at you enough times and see how well you keep it contained…basically you don’t. And Abbie being all happy at the end, well, best friends can get pissed off at each other for any number of things and in the end make up and go back to being best friends again – that’s a large part of what keeps them best friends in the first place. Especially if they actually manage to communicate. Bear in mind that these are kids who can’t always get out what they mean at the time and give them credit for getting shit figured out in the end. Sometimes they just need to take a bit of time out as they figure out how to go about mending their fences and they aren’t always the first one to make a move. It’s just how it is.
It’s like missing the punch line to some big joke that everyone else seems to get, but can’t get them to tell you why it’s funny. Or when they do, it still doesn’t seem that funny….
I’m ace and Genderfluid as well, so I understand that all too well.
Devyn didn’t get pissed off. She got a little upset when communication broke down between her and Abbie, and a little peeved when Abbie made her arrogant assumption, but she wasn’t PISSED OFF. Devyn clearly indicated she thought Abbie had objectified the teacher, and Abbie explained that she hadn’t. Devyn’s problem was that she DIDN’T UNDERSTAND what was going on with the girls vis a vis the teacher, and it made her feel terribly DIFFERENT. When she asked what it had all been about, she really wanted to know what it had all been about. Why the girls reacted so extremely.
So she shits on her best friend but all is forgiven.
Oh, and she didn’t make the first step to go back to her friend and talk to her about it. Her friend had to make the first step, even though she was told not to.
That’s my issue with this as well. Her explanation doesn’t equate to apologising for snapping and expecting Abbie to read her mind and just know what the problem was.
And she refuses to apologize to Abbie, which is something she needs to do. Abbie doesn’t deserve to be treated like she was. “This is who I am” is an excuse. It’s an excuse for her behavior. So is “I’m an asshole”, “I like picking on little kids”, and “I’m a dick.” It’s an excuse. It doesn’t excuse the behavior. It’s just an excuse.
Kindly explain to me how she shit on anybody?
You scream and yell at someone. You blow up at them. She confronted her supposed best and started the conversation. Tell them to not come around you until you are ready to deal with them. You tell someone you supposedly care about that you don’t have time for them. She even called her friend stupid. Her best friend. Not in a joking way. She called her best friend stupid.
That’s shitting on someone to me.
If you start a conversation you aren’t ready for, which she did, you shouldn’t just walk away from it. Hell, you shouldn’t start the conversation if you aren’t ready for it. But she did start it.
And so what if she might be asexual. I don’t care. Her friend isn’t. Neither are, apparently, are any of the other girls in her class. She wants understanding from them she needs to offer up some herself. Not shitting on her friend(s) because she can’t understand their feelings. I don’t feel bad for her. If anything I feel bad for her friends if she can’t offer up what she expects from others.
Jason, I think you’re being unreasonable. In the first place, she didn’t scream and yell. She got upset and said one harsh thing. People do that all the time. In the second place, telling someone you can’t talk now but will talk when you’re ready is a perfectly reasonable and sensible thing to do. It’s way better than trying to talk when you’re upset and mentally scattered. In the third place, how the hell do you know where a conversation will end up? I can’t see into the future. Neither can Devyn. If a conversation goes to a bad place, you break it off and come back later. That’s just good sense. And she did offer up what she expected. She expected her friend to give her a little space.
Yes, this strip http://wapsisquare.com/comic/my-quota/ certainly takes the warm glow off the reconciliation.
That’s the main one I refer to. Sorry, if my best friend called me an idiot while they are throwing a temper tantrum, they are going to have a lot of explaining to do and “I don’t get horny” isn’t a good enough explanation to me.
Um, she didn’t call her friend stupid or an idiot. She clearly stated that she reached a threshold where she was about to blow and no longer be reasonable. A conversation *can* be stupid without either person being stupid.
Knowing your boundaries when you are prone to nuclear meltdowns (hey, any Aspies out there?) is super key to not sending people off to Silent Hill, especially your best friend. It’s incredibly frustrating to not be able to have a clear conversation with someone whom you feel should know you better. Expectation vs reality.
This is the same girl who threw two bullies into a Silent Hill universe and the whole sequence was treated as an extended “Take that!” against bullying rather than a mentally troubled student lashing out disproportionately against a pair of assholes.
Devyn might as well have “anger issues” tattooed on her forehead. I’m honestly just surprised that no one else around her seems to have noticed or called her out on them. It’s good that she’s seeing a therapist, but there’s only so much good that can do if the problem goes unacknowledged.
I get anger issues. I went to a therapist for two years over my own anger issues, helped a lot. I am sympathetic to her on that one. But I also knew that my anger issues were my own, and if I fucked up and let them get out of hand I have to suffer the consequences of my actions. I can understand her having an issue with bullies, but in no way were any of the actions by Abbie bullying. I’ll be honest, I think she was bullying Abbie. Abbie is a very understanding person. I’m not, which is part of my own anger issues. Can’t explain something to me? Don’t start the conversation then. Come back when you can. Do not call me an idiot when you can’t explain your own shit.
That all said, I think her therapist is wrong. Devyn does need to apologize for what she said and did. She started the conversation and then went off on her supposed best friend. “I don’t get horny” isn’t an excuse, or at least not enough of one. Just because you don’t feel something doesn’t give you the right to give other people hell because they do. And that is exactly what she did. You want understanding? Offer up some yourself.
Thank you for representing asexuality! I have friends who are asexual and it’s a tough spot to be in, people just aren’t aware or willing to accept something so different from their reality. <3
I’m very happy with this page. I could pretty much sum up how I feel with these last two pages.
It’s very tough in school when hormones run everything. I have to say, of all the sex/gender issues getting light these days, this one still gets derided. So many times I’ve heard that “the right one” line, or some other dismissive BS.
My hormones are whacky. Always have been. They’ve even out a bit as I got older. I also have church oriented sexual repression.. but.. honestly at this point, I don’t think that’s as much of an issue. I don’t really feel the church influence any more, and I’m still as disinterested in sex and dating as I ever was.
Actually, with the church I grew up in and the big PUSH for young women to get married in a hurry and start having babies… eh.. its kind of what led me to discover that I am, indeed, ace. I would go to church, and had this mentality of “need to find husband” (awful, I know)… but it always made me feel anxious, stressed, etc to think about.
it wasn’t till I was working in iraq, did some soul searching, and some internet research that I discovered asexuality was an actual… thing… and.. well, then I had a name for it. And then it made sense. and when I decided that “yeah, maybe this mate thing isn’t for me” that I actually felt peaceably content…
I have a cat and family lives nearby. I’m quite happy.
I know being asexual is an innate thing, but some part of me likes to imagine Devyn looking at all the weird sexual stuff her Greek God family got up to in myth and deliberately went, “Nope. Not getting mixed up in that.”
Lol.
It’s not a phase mom yeash!!!😤
well you know teens these days. So angsty and hormonal lol! I remember when every little thing was a huge deal. Much different to look at teenage issues when you are an adult.
I can see, now, more of the point Paul is going for w/ the character- I still think there’s more to come, down the road, w/ this situation…
Not saying Devyn is going to get ‘fixed’, but I think there is evolution in the future.
(Putting a pin in it for now.)
I don’t think there’s anything to “fix”..
(then you understand me…)
Half of me takes this at face value, and went “D’aww” along with everyone else.
The other half wonders if Abbie’s genetically competitive hindbrain just went “So she’ll never be competition for boys? SWEET! Let’s keep her around forever!”
Archive binging in 2021, it looks like we’ve skipped a page. The missing page is http://wapsisquare.com/comic/feel-like-an-outsider/